Cock Rock

Sandness – Untamed Review

Sandness – Untamed Review

“Sandness. The essence of sand. It’s coarse and it’s rough and it’s irritating and it gets everywhere. Such characteristics are not really desirable for a young Italian rock band releasing their third album and aiming to bring 80s hair metal to the modern day. Untamed follows a 3-year break, a time in which the band aimed to create something “more straightforward, shorter and more lighthearted,” descriptors which are quite different to those listed above. But the real queries are around quality. Do they achieve their goals? Should you invest your time here? Do I like Sand(ness)?” The Sandness of love.

Crazy Lixx – Crazy Lixx Review

Crazy Lixx – Crazy Lixx Review

“You know how Kurt Cobain killed Hair Metal? Of course you know; we’ve been through this already. He didn’t. Yes folks, it’s time for your second dose of hair metal in under a month! You see, while AMG has been distracted dealing with Steel Druhm’s incessant efforts to inject more Jorn onto the site by any means necessary, I’ve launched my own elaborately coiffured campaign to restyle Angry Metal Guy into the far more fabulous Hair Metal Guy.” Jorn in the U.S.A.!

On Top – Top to Bottom Review

On Top – Top to Bottom Review

“Sift through the empty beer bottles in the dustiest recesses of your mind and head back to 2011. On Top‘s début Top Heavy hits the shelves and like its cheesy 80s era cover art, the contents reeked with the stench of immaturity. Three years on and Philideliphia’s On Top haven’t changed their leopard print cock-rocking undies!” Animal print undies are never a sign of maturity. Never.

DC4 – Electric Ministry Review

DC4 – Electric Ministry Review

I didn’t want to review this, didn’t even want to listen to it. Angry Metal Guy said I had to do it. I bitched, moaned, put it off, made excuses and so on. I didn’t like the cover or the song titles. It screamed cheesy cock rock and I had a general feeling of dread. Yesterday I resigned myself to biting the bullet and just getting through it. Although I was pretty much right on the nail about the cock rock, much to my shock, this didn’t suck. In fact, it rocked! It seems even the mighty Steel Druhm can be wrong (like twice on eon). DC4 is a semi-supergroup composed of former members of Armored Saint (Jeff Duncan), Dio (Rowan Robertson) and Odin (Shawn Duncan). They play a metallized hard rock style that can be compared to classic era Van Halen if Dimebag Darrel was the guitarist and songwriter. Yes, I mean that. Electric Ministry is their third full length and it features a collection of straight forward, guitar-driven hard rock anthems with just enough grit and punch to satisfy the average metal monger. They effectively craft songs with big, pumping, meaty riffs and hooks galore. Its essentially panties-on-the-head party metal with a sleazy, “good times” vibe that veers into dark, disturbing areas at times. I’ll be honest here, I actively resisted liking this and it didn’t work. I resent DC4 making me support this release! What is the world coming to.

In This Moment – A Star-Crossed Wasteland Review

In This Moment – A Star-Crossed Wasteland Review

So I admit, I’ve never heard SoCal pop rockers In This Moment before. This review will be completely devoid of comparisons to their last two records. Nor will it be filled with witty insights into how the band has changed over their time and whether or not this is a darker record (of course, every new record is the darkest, heaviest, etc., that any band has ever done, so trust the bio about as far as you can throw Arnold Schwarzneger). No, this is going to pretty much be a tirade about how much I really don’t like this album at all or the style of music or basically anything about this at all except for Maria’s clean singing voice, which is very good. You are warned. Don’t throw a fit in the comments because I hate your favorite band: I’ve already warned you. If you read past the jump then it’s your own fucking fault.

H.E.A.T. – Freedom Rock Review

H.E.A.T. – Freedom Rock Review

It is more and more apparent to me every day that heavy metal is going into a hibernation stage. As an Angry Metal Guy I try to keep my ear to the ground for movement in a forward direction, particularly from younger people. Instead, there’s nothing but a rash of neo-heavy metal and thrash bands that flood the market as apparently 18 year olds all feel like the really missed out on thrash and are out of ideas. But what’s worse than kids writing thrash metal records that could’ve been written in 1982? Kids writing butt rock albums that should’ve been written in the dying throws of 1980s cock rock in about 1991. That’s right, H.E.A.T., from the same town as venerable rockers Europe have decided to run with 1980s action movie theme as the basis for their sound.

Rock Musicians and Reality TV Shows

Rock Musicians and Reality TV Shows

I don’t know if anyone else has been noticing this, but what the hell is with the whole rock/”metal” musicians (in reality, it’s pretty much just the cock rock and alternative scene guys) getting in on reality TV thing? According to what I just read on Blabbermouth, fucking Mike Starr from Alice in Chains (he used to play bass) is getting in on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. I don’t want to be a downer for these guys: but seriously, can’t you do yourself the favor of not embarrassing yourself in public and maybe dealing with your addiction problems in private, where they should be handled!?