“This Danish quintet is back to massage your thighs with melodic coconut butter before headbutting you in the junk with their signature combination of groove and thrash. After taking longer than usual between albums, HateSphere has stripped back all those orchestral interludes and sprinklings of clean vox to deliver the back-to-basics Hatred Reborn to you. And new vocalist Mathias Uldall (from the metalcore outfit Royal Deceit) is along for the ride.” Touch the anger orb.
“Though I’ve explored every album and every song from these Finnish monsters (sometimes multiple times over the years), I do not fully enjoy their music. But, when I see a new Lordi release, my ignorance overcomes, and I snatch it open immediately. Why I do it, I don’t know. But it’s not like any other writer would dare touch it, thereby dumping unnecessary stress on myself to find it in the bin and claim it. But that’s what I do. Because no one seems to like this band, and I’m the only one stupid enough to review them. That said, you’re all idiots for reading this.” Lordi, Lordi.
“Everyone’s favorite Christian band is back (that isn’t Stryper or Theocracy). No new gimmicks, no new twists—just the same sermons explaining why all you sin-sucking sons of bitches are going to Hell.” Holy ghosts and goblins.
“Welp, Dr. AMG and Doc Grier are off to a hectic year. With a very understandable back-and-forth of “I can take it,” “You can take it,” and finally, “It won’t be on time,” here I am feeding the plebs a review of one of the most-anticipated releases of 2023.” Enslaved by deadlines.
“It’s clear from my time with Depravation’s discog that these chaps don’t settle for anything they did before. Each new album adds another layer to the pie, each song more intricate than the one before. But the best part of their music is the spontaneity and energy. On this new release, they hold nothing back and dive in headfirst. But this ain’t an ocean of water. It’s a vat of lava.” Depravity and lust.
“After exploring the band’s catalog, I’m rather impressed with their ’90s classics, Unspeakable Cults and Transmission to Chaos. Their mid-paced approach to songwriting and clever use of keys and atmospheres have me returning to Transmission to Chaos a lot. Again, while there are similarities to Rotting Christ in the songwriting (specifically the pace of the songs), Deviser was able to carve a place for themselves in the genre. But, as we’ve seen with so many bands in this class, the need to up their game in the symphonic side took hold. The result was two albums that under-delivered and left me cold inside. With Evil Summons Evil, the tries to recapture the days of yore while utilizing today’s modern production and punch.” DeviserER!
“On initial listen, I can tell you that Den Tapte Krigen is no Vi Overlevde. Let that sink in as you consider the consequences of that statement. Is that good or bad? For one, Den Tapte Krigen is a tighter album (only eight tracks) with a formalized theme. There’s fluidity from the beginning to the end of this journey. What about those surprise transitions and standout songs, you ask?” Rejoin the Kult.
“Who could have foreseen that I would grab an album with “steel” in the title before our Mighty Ape could get his banana-stained whore hands on it? Perhaps it was due to the absence of “swords” that I now hold in my sausage fingers the debut record from New Jersey’s The Gauntlet.” Stealing the steel.
“You don’t know shit until you read this. It’s not opinion; it’s science.”
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