GardensTale

Will be destroying crappy nu-metal and praising crappy prog until the sky dies.

Saturn – Beyond Spectra Review

By GardensTale on March 27, 2017 in 2017, Heavy Metal, Proto-Metal, Reviews, Rise Above Records, Swedish Metal, Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, 33 comments

“I was raised on classic rock. My three favorite albums as a 7 year old were To You by Dutch blues rockers Brainbox, Aqualung by Jethro Tull and In Rock by Deep Purple. I heard the phrase “Aren’t you a little young for that?” so often in conversation, hearing it on the street didn’t even surprise me when someone caught me whistling “Stairway to Heaven” or wearing a Deep Purple shirt. That love laid the foundations for where I am in music today, and it never went away. But while a lot of bands these days harken back to the age of hippies and vinyl, not many of them manage to truly nail the sound. Swedish rockers Saturn are among the minority.” Rock in an old place.

The Vicious Head Society – Abject Tomorrow Review

By GardensTale on March 26, 2017 in 2017, Irish Metal, Progressive Metal, Reviews, Self-released, Progressive Metal, 24 comments

“Gun to my head, I’d have to say that no metal sub-genre tickles my fancy as much as progressive metal. It’s hardly a fully independent genre, though, because how often do you call a band straight-up progressive metal? Well, sometimes, but usually it’s progressive death metal, or progressive power metal, or any of the other combinations. This is because while other sub-genres are more about a certain sound or atmosphere, progressive is almost exclusively about the structure of the songs, freeing the band from their verse-chorus shackles. This allows for longer songs with more room to explore, and the pull of a narrative structure leads to concept albums more than any other genre.” Is this a dream in a theater?

Dusius – Memory of a Man Review

By GardensTale on March 22, 2017 in 2017, Extreme Metal Music, Folk Metal, Italian Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Reviews, Folk Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Viking Metal, 65 comments

“There’re as many ways to suck as there are to rock. There’re bands like Akoma and Starkill that make watered down, lowest common denominator crap. There’re can’t-be-arsed bands like Green Bastard that sound uninterested in their own music. And there’re the inept enthusiasts, of which newcomers Dusius might be the patron saint. This band clearly love what they do, but most of it is truly, genuinely bad.” We are bad, and that’s good. We will never be good, and that’s not bad.

Behind the Sun – Post Solis Review

By GardensTale on March 10, 2017 in 2017, American Metal, Djent, Progressive Metal, Reviews, Self-released, Djent, Progressive Metal, 21 comments

“We live in an age where trends tend to follow a very specific curve thanks to high-speed propagation and market saturation. Djent is no exception. The first stage is inception. A creator comes up with an idea, shares it, and becomes ground zero. Sometimes this is subtle and hard to trace back, sometimes it’s Meshuggah.” Consult the Djent Timeline if you will.

Cataleptic – Forward Review

By GardensTale on March 1, 2017 in 2017, Archaic Sound, Death Metal, Doom Metal, Finnish Metal, Reviews, Death Metal, Doom Metal, 16 comments

“Using different tempos, introducing secondary instruments, changing style of vocals or inviting guest singers, I could go on and on about the many ways a band can break the bonds of monotony. And maybe I should, just in case Cataleptic read this review.” Free pointers because we care.

Disperse – Foreword Review

By GardensTale on February 26, 2017 in 2017, Polish Metal, Progressive Metal, Reviews, Season of Mist, Progressive Metal, 65 comments

“Music, like any craft, is different for those who practice and create it and those who only consume it. The learned are better able to distinguish between what is crafty and what is easy, gaining a perspective that appreciates elegant complexity more than a casual listener would. I am not a musician, nor a professional critic, but I like to think (or delude myself) that I have gathered enough listening and analyzing experience to at least meet the pros halfway.” Go the extra mile to the halfway point.

Aeternam – Ruins of Empires Review

By GardensTale on February 25, 2017 in 2017, Canadian Metal, Death Metal, Reviews, Self-released, Uncategorized, Symphonic Metal, 67 comments

“Us no-wage slaves ceaselessly cranking the almighty Angry Metal Guy Patented Review Mill (patent pending) usually have the choice between handing a review in at least 12 days before release or receiving 50 lashes and a metalcore promo. But now and then, the brutal roar of Steel Druhm’s voice comes through the trap door above, barking orders to review a promo that has already been released but is so good it still requires a write-up, lest the unwashed masses find themselves missing out. Such was the case with Aeternam’s latest opus, Ruins of Empires.” Sand, Steel and slave labor.

Thera Roya – Stone and Skin Review

By GardensTale on February 12, 2017 in 2017, American Metal, Post-metal, Reviews, Self-released, Sludge, Post-Metal, Sludge Metal, 35 comments

“Between post-rock and post-metal, the former is the only genre I prefer over its metal equivalent. In both cases, the genres are known for their atmospherics, long cyclical instrumental sections and overall floaty dreamy attitude. But where post-rock seems to have mastered the art of supplementing the reverberating guitars with great ebb and flow in the composition, post-metal often seems satisfied with turning up distortion and echo and calling it a day.” Post-it notes.

Primal Attack – Heartless Oppressor Review

By GardensTale on February 4, 2017 in 2017, Portuguese Metal, Rastilho Records, Reviews, Uncategorized, Groove Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Thrash Metal, 17 comments

“Primal Attack play thrashy melodic death in the vein of The Haunted but run it through an ‘actually any good’ era Machine Head filter. There’s also a strong Pantera presence in the ‘fuck you’ attitude.” Put on your beater and strap on the heater.

Drude – Drude Review

By GardensTale on February 2, 2017 in 2017, American Metal, Reviews, Self-released, Sludge, Sludge Metal, 28 comments

“Considering most of you have kitchen scales lying around, it may seem strange that heaviness appears to have a subjective element. While no one will argue Behemoth to be heavier than, say, ABBA, what constitutes the ultimate in aural obesity seems to differ from person to person.” Heavy is as heavy does.