“No matter the relative strength of a given year’s metal output, knowing a new Brainstorm album is on the horizon always warms the cockles of my miserly old school heart (ov Steel). They’ve been one of the most consistent and enjoyable metal acts since 2000, releasing album after album of meat n’ taters metal sounding like Nevermore’s progressive and modern approach jammed through a Judas Priest and Iced Earth accessibility filter.” Midnight special.
“I have a love-hate relationship with progressive metal, particularly power prog. Several of my all-time favorite acts are prog as fuck, or at least dip their toe in those waters. However, not many musicians know how to actually write progressively, bloating the scene with bland mediocrity. This is true of most music of course, but it’s particularly heartbreaking to see in genres with so much potential. So where do Ethernity, our new Belgian acquaintances, fit into this?” Prog extinction.
“Look, I get it. Manimal isn’t a great band name. Hell, it isn’t even a good one. But for once, I need you overly judgmental metal hacks to look past that and keep whatever passes for an open mind round these parts. Highly dubious moniker aside, Manimal is a talented Euro-power band with the good sense to graft a ton of traditional metal akin to Judas Priest’s Painkiller to their sound for extra muscle.” From Garanimal to Manimal.
“In the past five or so years, the U.S. underground power metal scene has become explosively vibrant. Where a decade ago the only act that could hold a candle to its European contemporaries was Cellador, the past few years have seen American bands claiming my personal prize of Power Metal Album ov the Year. Arizona’s Ice Sword seems primed to secure the slot this year, and in previous years the honor was claimed by Cellador, Judicator, and, of course, Helion Prime.” Prime Cheddar or processed Velvetta?
“Udo Dirkschneider, the original singer of Accept, is the living embodiment of 80s Germanic metal. Along with Chris Boltendahl and ,b>Gravedigger[1. Who also have an album inbound soon.], he’s kept that dated sound alive long past its expiration date, releasing album after album of Accept-esque anthems with his eponymous band U.D.O., always light on sophistication but heavy on raspy screeching and classic metal tropes. Steelfactory is the 15th such platter of Teutonic splatter and shows nary an ounce of progression or innovation, sticking to that Accept B-side ethos that’s served the man so well since 1980.” Everflowing Germanic steel.
“The first time I heard Lordi was when everyone else did. It was 2006, they had just won Eurovision (never seen it; don’t care) and their third full-length, The Arockalypse, had hit the streets. I was driving down the 101 in Phoenix, having just purchased it on CD. It was early April, already hot as hell, and I didn’t have AC in my forest-green Geo Tracker. For my horrible mood, my sweat-soaked Yanks cap, and the t-shirt glued to the seat, I was, surprisingly, having a good time.” Lordi, Lordi.
“Being that I don’t listen to Greece’s Firewind, the first time I heard of guitarist/songwriting Gus G. was when he replaced Ozzy Osbourne’s Zakk Wylde. So, naturally, I hated the guy. I know, it’s not his fault, it’s the circumstances. Like when the Yankees dropped Don Mattingly in favor of Tino Martinez. He filled the position well and achieved some great things, but it’s hard to replace someone who’s been the face of an organization (or a band) for so long. At the end (as far as the Yanks go), it wasn’t a complete bust. And, for Ozzy, it didn’t fucking matter anyway. Regardless, both sets of shoes are big shoes to fill. But, before all this, Gus G. was the dude that released the guitar wanking “masterpiece,” Guitar Master.” G is for guitar-gasm.
“Steely D loves him some Manowar. As ridiculous as their persona became over time, they were one of my favorite bands growing up and I still love that kind of epic, chest-thumping warrior metal. Ross the Boss was the guitarist during the band’s golden era and helped write many of their best songs. He left the fold following 1988s Kings of Metal, and since then he’s dabbled in a solo career only in fits and starts. By Blood Sworn is his third album under the regrettable Ross the Boss moniker, and the first since 2010s Hailstorm.” The crown and the gory.
“I’ll be straight with you: there’s been a lot of shit going on in the World of Grier. Some of it has resulted in a big sigh of relief, while the rest of it is shit. Like, pure shit. Festering, fucking stuff that no toilet can flush. So, Borealis’ newest release, coming as it does during these dark days, is a true blessing.” Lights, cameras, high expectations!
“Now here’s something you don’t see every day: a beefy-sounding Brazilian power metal act with no prior label releases appearing on a label as prominent as AFM. Armored Dawn is a sextet of South Americans who sound and write more like they hail from Germany or Scandinavia. With a certain preoccupation for Viking “lore” — just like half of all of metal — the band’s theme is nothing to write home about, but the album trailer sounded promising enough that I was eager to get my hands on this.” Viking lore or bore?
