Record reviews
“By the time you read this, the new year will already be in full swing, and judging by this album’s release date, AMG industries is already struggling to keep up. Expect the Record(s) o’ the Month to be late.” While you wait, feel free to attend the AMG poetry slam.
“Attempting to categorize Laster is like trying to catch air with a net, but in a hypothetical “pick a genre or die” kind of scenario, one would probably end up lumping them in with the blackened shoegaze crowd. To do so would be a crass oversimplification, however, as their music incorporates an absurdly diverse range of elements and influences.” AMG policy requires air nets be worn at all times.
“Those who know me will tell you that Steel Druhm is a man of refined tastes. As such, I don’t always listen to cult underground doom, but when I do, I like it the same way I like my chili – extra meaty and full of crippling regret. Obscure Chilean doom purveyors, Condenados have their own homestyle recipe they’d love to share and on their second album, The Tree of Death they’re looking to serve it to a wider audience.” Ent no thing.
“It’s a brand new year – a fresh beginning for all of our personal stories and a clean, blank slate for metal music. Now is the time to take risks, to be daring, to innovate. Just kidding, it’s actually time for the 17th goddamn album of monochromatic meat n’ taters metal from the unstoppable Germanic horde called Grave Digger.” Well, that de-escalated quickly.
“Do you smell that? No? Breath deeper? Now do you smell it? Nope, it wasn’t me or the dog. That is the flatulence of another year. Forced out the sphincter of 2016, 2017 promises to be better than the worm-ridden large intestine it was shat from. Actually, twenty-seventeen doesn’t promise shit.” Doc loves the smell of blackened sphincter in the mourning.
“Another year, another glut of SoCal tech death coming my way. Being the world’s sole arbiter of brutality, I have to say that I’m a bit disappointed with the more traditional technical death metal scene as of late.” Because The Arbiter is disappoint, there will be much punishment.
“As we slam the door on the non-stop game of Russian Roulette that was 2016, we at Angry Metal Guy Enterprises, LLC collectively realize that the adage “the more things change, the more they stay the same” rings ever so true. New years always bring new promises. They also bring with them one-man black metal.” Seize the day and a drum machine.
“If my hypothesis is correct, then this should be AMG’s last full review of the year, and the honor has gone to a lowly newbie thanks to some seasonal schadenfreude courtesy of Steel Druhm. See, with our infamously dreadful December promo pool to pull from, I let the fates decide my final assignment of 2016. So while everyone else cozied up by the fire with their choice Things You Might Have Missed, he assigned me to tackle the third record of prog project The DRX, Throughout Within.” Prog the halls, then leave same.
![Mizmor – Yodh [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Mizmor-Yodh-768x768.jpg)
“Even before hearing a single note from Portland, Oregon’s one-man blackened doom psalmist Mizmor (מזמור), the striking cover art of Yodh—a reproduction of an artwork by Polish artist Zdzisław Beksiński—tells us everything we need to know. The two faces in a desolate dystopian landscape, robbed of their distinguishing features and reduced to mute, expressionless monoliths, speak to our subconscious selves.” Woe to the world, the doom has come.
“In times of turmoil, our old refrains become more important to our sanity than ever. After burying my wallet in the backyard following some semi-drunk Christmas shopping, I turned to the latest Gothenburg-spawned album on the pile. Nothing better than somber keyboard-laden melodeath and the pitch-black 4 o’clock hour to ease the pain, right? No chance.” The 80s ride again!
