“Do you remember what life was like prior to 2015 B.V. (Before Vardan)? Back when the phrase “monthly visitor” meant something radically different than black metal’s most notorious one-man sweatshop, the busiest man in black metal was Ukrainian pagan mastermind Yaromisl and his own one-man machine, Zgard.” C’mon boys, it’s not a competition. You’re both totally obscure.
““Love at first sight” is an interesting concept: a basic mammalian response formed by some pesky, involuntary biological and cognitive mechanisms. And I wonder, can music elicit something similar? Can you, perhaps, start loving a record during the first minute of a sample track? Can this kind of appreciation evolve into a long-lasting bond with a piece of music? The début by Finnish black metallers Sacrificium Carmen, Ikuisen Tulen Kammiossa, had that sort of a struck-by-lightning influence on me.” But will an early frost kill this blooming love?
“Why is everything in my November promo bin a part I or IV of something bigger? I’m starting to feel like I’m trapped at the Third-Tier Fantasy Fiction Fan Con and I’m dreading what lurks around the next corner. Will it be The Atomic Dragon Bosoms of Gefilte Pt. VII? The Purple Cloak of Chromatic Unicorn Fabulousness Pt. X? Can’t we just do one-off albums again, people?”
“One release that got badly overlooked in 2014 was the debut of Portland’s Nightfell. Buried below the avalanche of notable productions that got out after its release on early February, few dug it out at the end of the year to give it a place on their lists. As a brooding piece of lightly D-beat infused Doom/Death, it’s a cunning mix of the lengthy musical background of both members. Back after little more than a year, they switched labels going from Southern Lord to 20 Buck Spin and just unloaded another crushing shipping container filled with engaging riffs and melodies named Darkness Evermore. Better late than never.
“There really is nothing like putting together an annual top-ten list. Critiquing, organizing, selecting, re-selecting, and rearranging right up to the deadline, like creating a haphazard grocery list as you suffer through a 48-hour fasting. As is the case with many of my colleagues, I pretty much had my list nailed down at the beginning of November with everything listed in an order I was 99% confident with. Well, that was until Kampfar’s Profan hit my inbox a week ago.” A plan is a list of things that aren’t going to happen.
“With the worldwide influence of Sweden on two fronts in the metal world and their universally hostile furniture-based takeover through Ikea (complete with Pictionary instructions and oddly tasty meatballs), it’s almost funny to see Sweden cheekily stealing from the initially British-led style of old-school heavy metal and RAM it down all of our throats with a record called Svbversvm.” Svbmit!
“While the name Graveshadow would suggest a band dabbling in a number of genres, the album art pretty much narrows that list down to a select few. Just seconds into Nocturnal Resurrection and all your wonder transforms into 100% certainty. This album clearly bleeds with the Nightwish-washy inklings of symphonic keys and power-metal attitude. I suppose this makes sense being that this sextet hails from the magical forests of Finlannnn… oh wait.. Sacramento.” Hamster, a dentist! Hard porn, Steven Seagull!
“There is no greater genre for intentional anonymity than black metal. Sure, the music should speak for itself, but you gotta admit that there’s a glut of faceless kvltery going around, and I’m not talking about corpsepaint, either. Hooded robes, gas masks, ski masks, demon masks, you name it, are being utilitzed ad nauseam with mixed results. Greece’s Awe trumps them by not only eschewing with the whole mask thing, but also the whole bandmember-naming convention, as there isn’t a band photo or even a line-up mentioned anywhere on the Interwebz.” Attach the Horn of Shame!
“It has finally come to pass. A metal band fell so in deeply love with their own music that they just had to release a TRIPLE album. Not a three part conceptual piece stretching over several years, mind you, but three (3) full albums dropped at once for fans to have a righteously extended soak in.” We never thought the day would come, but it’s here and it’s a big one.
“The dramatic fall from grace of the often maligned melodic death metal sub-genre is well documented among metalheads. Things were looking so damn rosy during the ’90s heyday.” Ah, those were the days.
