“Sunn O))) is not well received around these parts. When AMG’s distinguished editors and contributors were given the opportunity to review these droning doomsters, it was met with such reactions as GardensTale‘s verbal bitch-slap “I’d rather stick my hand in a blender” or Mark Z.‘s sick burn “Can I just review my washing machine running for two hours instead?” Love ’em or hate ’em, we can all agree on one universal idea about drone: it can be boring as fuck.” O)))) Boy.
"six feet under"
Dr. Wvrm’s Top Ten(ish) Records of 2018
Christmas is over, but the lists are still lurking! Next up is Dr. Wvrm and his highly important opinions on what ten albums you should hear in 2018.
El Cuervo’s and Diabolus in Muzaka’s Top Ten of 2018
The holidays are near, but this is no time for shopping! Instead you should be consuming the Top Ten lists of the esteemed El Cuervo and Diabolus in Muzaka. These are the gifts that keeps on giving.
Huck N’ Roll’s and Eldritch Elitist’s Top Ten of 2018
The top tens are marching, and Huck N’ Roll and Eldritch are ready to spread the gospel of good metal across the land. You wanted lists, you got lists!
Cripple Bastards – La Fine Cresce da Dentro Review
“When I think of grind, the last place to which my mind takes me is Italy. But here I am, in the Piedmont region of the beloved boot-shaped country, whiplashing my upper vertebrae to smithereens with Cripple Bastards. This is their seventh full length since their inception in 1988, but along the way these bastards have also released one single, one live album, seven EPs, and more splits than would grace the stage at a drag queen lip sync competition. Cripple Bastards deal a chaotic brand of grind, unsatisfied with adhering to a single formula. While the band has embraced different influences successfully more often than not, the constant mutation Cripple Bastards undergo makes for an inconsistent discography. The goal, then, is for La Fine Cresce da Dentro to beat Cripple Bastards’ best album: 2008’s Variante Alla Morte.” Wow, he traveled to Italy just to listen to this band? These n00bs are dedicated as hell.
Aosoth – V: The Inside Scriptures Review
“I hadn’t paid much attention to France’s Aosoth until they dropped the captivating IV: An Arrow in Heart LP in 2013, a dark and crushing affair of malicious, dissonant black metal. Admittedly I have only flirted with the remainder of their back catalog since, with nothing much, to my ears, standing up to the colossal An Arrow in Heart. The album’s hefty production and outside elements almost made it sound like Aosoth were a black metal band, in a particularly evil and hulking death metal body, with the songwriting smarts to craft an equally punishing, challenging and addictive opus. Now, after four years, Aosoth return hellbent on continuing their twisted conceptual mission and hammering home the fact that no-one does black metal quite like the French.” Black arrows ov death.
70000 Tons of Metal: One Man’s Journey
“My friends ask me what happened, but my ability to verbally communicate has been reduced to moaning and a weeping noise that sounds something like a baby panda crying for milk. I wonder how I’m going to make it through the final day of this floating festival. I wonder when the aching will subside. I wonder where my life went so wrong. How did I end up here, on the 7th annual 70000 Tons of Metal cruise, weak with exhaustion and feeling like my body has been bludgeoned with a sledgehammer? My mind drifts back…” Tales from a 70000 ton heavy thing.
Black Fucking Cancer – Black Fucking Cancer Review
“Now that I have my fill of Waxen’s bizarre Weihung Auf Satan, it seems only right for some everyday black metal. That’s if you’re into that sort of thing. If not, today’s review will only upset you, but the name of today’s band alone ought to catch your attention.” What’s in a name, anyway?
Borknagar – Winter Thrice Review
“It’s been four years since Urd was released and Winter Thrice builds upon the back of Urd while trying to expand its vision. The album is sixty minutes of epic, blackened, progressive metal which builds on the back of excellent vocal performances, including the unexpected—but totally suggested by me—inclusion of Garm’s cleans in the growing vocal mosaic.”
Baphomet’s Blood – In Satan We Trust Review
“After nearly seven years on hiatus, Baphomet’s Blood have returned (minus S.V. Goat Necromancer) with booze in their beards, blood on their jackets, shovels on their shoulders, and eyes set on murdering lawns-o’-plenty as only Motörhead could do.” Lemmy would be pleased.