“Somewhere deep in the bowels of the Internet (right next to erotic Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction, if I recall correctly), I uncovered Downfall of Gaia, and my dick has been crooked ever since.” Hedgehog porn is a big favorite at AMG, especially “Hedge Trimmers.”
“Following these guys is like dating someone with a serious mood disorder. Sure, the wild emotional swings keep it interesting, but the payoff is rarely worth the effort. Bloodbound started out as a throwback traditional metal act, releasing an excellent debut which benefitted greatly from the considerable vocal talents of Urban Breed (ex-Tad Morose, ex-Pyramaze). Breed left thereafter but their sophomore outing was solid nonetheless, and he returned once again for the very good Tabla Rasa outing. He then bailed again, leaving the band to utilize the talents of Patrik “Pata” Johansson for 2011s Unholy Cross, which had moments, but was ultimately too generic to pass muster. Then came the abomination of 2012s In the Name of Metal, which only served to give metal a bad name.” Where will the mood ring take us next? To Westeros, of course!
“Without fail, I always seem to come back to my mass of Swedish death metal albums in a given calendar year. During that time, I pass from album to album, band after band of angry-at-the-world vocals, heavy-as-hell riffs, and the bludgeoning anti-Christian, death, and war themes. Much like the thrash movement in the States, there are arguments over the “Big Four” of the genre.” And guess who isn’t getting included in anyone’s list?
“Bhleg are a two-piece black metal band from Gothenburg, Sweden. That’s pretty much all the information I can gleam from their Facebook page and their label’s website, and they don’t have a page at Encyclopedia Metallum. One thing I did find from my research is that “Bhleg” is Proto-Indo-European for “to shine,” which totally threw off our jokes within the Angry Metal Guy castle, as we were wondering if “Meh,” “Hmmph,” and “*Indifferent Shoulder Shrug*” were all utilized for band names already.” I like “Bleurgh” myself.
“When you consider the type of metal associated with Greece, your mind probably jumps to some of the more well known outfits like symphonic death giants Septicflesh or extreme metallers Rotting Christ. You’re not too far off here, Varathron not only shared members with Rotting Christ, but their early albums are considered cornerstones of the Hellenic black metal stage, alongside the releases of Necromantia and the other aforementioned leaders.” Madam X continues her stalking crusade against Septicflesh and all things Greek despite the restraining order from Sparta.
“The death metal super group of all death metal super groups is finally back from the grave after six long years moldering in the soil. Bloodbath needs little introduction, as the preeminent standard bearer of all things retro Swedish death this collective composed of members of Opeth, Katatonia and Witchery once included the likes of Dan Swanö and Mikael Akerfeldt, but both have fled to other pursuits, leaving the band’s new era in the hands of Nick Holmes (Paradise Lost) who now handles vocals.” Can Mr. Holmes shed his rave club past and bring his share of gore to the bathtub?
“I dislike ‘Viking metal’ as a descriptor. It’s a vague term which alludes to lyrical content above the music itself. It can entail black or folk metal-derived darkness (Bathory), epic doom (Atlantean Kodex), raucous melodeath (Amon Amarth), and even power metal (Týr). Iceland’s Skálmöld falls somewhere between Amon Amarth’s melodeath and the galloping triple-axe attack of Iron Maiden, stopping off at black metal for its raw tone and dabbling in doom for its long songs. See, wasn’t that easier than just ‘Viking metal’?” It is easier, but then Wotan will smite us.
“Unearth are among the last of their kind. The New Wave of American Heavy Metal – if there ever was such a thing – has crashed, receded, and carried away a flotsam of recycled Gothenburg riffs, open string drop-D breakdowns, and post-Pantera toughguy groove. Bands not dissolved in the fizz of waning popularity and ill-conceived murder-for-hire plots have either distilled themselves into Top 40 radio rock (Avenged Sevenfold) or continue struggling to recreate the glory of their heyday (Killswitch Engage). Unearth stand alone….” So much for progress and evolution.
“Sphere fetishists of the world rejoice! We now present to you a band that not only has “sphere” in the moniker, but also offers a song called “The Sphere.” And yes, there’s a goddamn sphere on the cover too. Are you not entertained?! Ok, now that the sphere furbies left, we can get on with the review of what is a shockingly good album. Triosphere is a progressive power metal act hailing from Norway and though AMG and myself enjoyed their 2010 effort The Road Less Travelled a good deal, this tops it in every way.” Sphere’s to you, kid!
“If you’re anything like me, you’re super awesome. But more to the point, you would have been saddened by the split of blackened death metal troublemakers Akercocke a couple of years ago. Perhaps the UK’s most consistently entertaining extreme metal act of the last decade, they seemed to improve on every album, reaching a pinnacle on 2007’s Antichrist.” The band is gone, but the legacy lives on in a disturbing new entity.
