“It’s the new year! And that means new starts. What’s going to be new with the Record(s) o’ the Month in 2016? Well, pretty much nothing. I plan to be just as opinionated, stubborn, and unreliable as I can be. Because now I have Unimpeachable Scientific Proof™ that my choices are pretty much fucking representative of the choices of the entire staff at Angry Metal Guy. Yeah, sure, some people might not agree with me all the time, but in aggregate—which as we know from the rise of Big Data and the Technocratic Rule is the only data that matters—my opinion is still trend-setting and all-important. Put that in your pipe and smoke it I Give a 4.0 to Everything That Reeks of Nostalgia and Desperation Druhm. So my wimpy prog choices? Yeah, they’re gonna keep coming. My not caring about the newest super true Demilich clone? Oh, it will continue. My total disinterest in anyone’s opinion but my own? Yup, that’s the whole point of this blog.”
"Rhapsody"
Serenity – Codex Atlanticus Review
Serenity is an Austrian symphonic power metal that I’ve just recently learned our very own Steel Druhm has been fawning over, thus once again sullying my hard-earned reputation by rubber-stamping anything that reminds him of his wasted youth. In an effort to put a stop to this travesty, I decided to review Codex Antlanticus myself. Having never heard the band—certainly the facts pursuant to Druhm‘s overzealous ratings aren’t necessary in order to feel offended—I immersed myself in Serenity’s 5th full length release bracing only for the worst. Hilarity, as one might expect, ensued.
Angry Metal Guy’s Top 10(ish) of 2015
Twenty-fifteen has been a hell of a ride. It’s been one of my favorite years for music in quite a long time, and I’ve been struggling to prune this list down to 10(ish) records that I really love. But in some ways, the top 5 has never been easier for me to choose. What I find most fascinating about this list is how completely out of step I feel with what I see as being touted as the coolest parts of the underground. I seem to be pretty far afield while everyone else seems to be fawning over the latest ’70s retro doom phenomenon, hope drones, or the latest example of black metal kids missing that intensity not 15 minute songs was the cool part of black metal. This is what it feels like to have been left behind by a scene; to have lived long enough to be that old guy shaking his fist at new trends in metal.
Númenor – Sword & Sorcery Review
“Tolkien metal is actually a thing. For those that haven’t come across it prior to now, it’s a subgenre of black metal that’s supposedly more atmospheric and ambient with lyrics entirely based around Tolkien’s works. Summoning are the forerunners of the genre, but it looks like they have a little competition in the shape of Serbian band Númenor.” Nerds. Be. Raging (and LARPING).
Gloryhammer – Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards Review
“I have been accused of being boring and touchy because I dislike parody heavy metal bands. Whenever a band like Steel Panther or The Darkness shows up, I get defensive. “Metal is alive and well,” I argue, and honestly, there are bands that are putting out great power metal and hard rock that gets ignored by mainstream press outlets that rave over parody bands and they sell lots of records. I also tend to get annoyed by comedy lyrics; for the most part those songs are funny once or twice, but after a while they just stop being funny and they become uninteresting because, well, that’s the point. Put this together, and a parody band seems like it should have a lot of strikes against it here at Angry Metal Guy. Not only are Steel Druhm and I firmly anti-fun, but I’m defensive about metal because I don’t want real, talented metal bands getting short shrift next to bands who are just making fun of the sound.” Fun will be had.
Angry Metal Guy Speaks: On Negativity
Every now and again—namely, most every time we post a negative review of a popular band—some reader will comment on how it seems like we’re always trashing major label releases. They argue that we’re not being fair and that we underrate records. They explain that records have received universal acclaim and that we’re just being contrarian (even jokingly referring to me as Contrarian Metal Guy). They accuse us of being elitists who are just bashing popular bands because we want to be trve or kvlt (I gave a 5/5 to fucking [Luca Turilli’s] Rhapsody [of Fire]. lol.). I don’t think these are particularly good representations of what we do here or is reflective of why it is that negative reviews get posted. And I’m sure it’s frustrating and a bit of a shock because, of course, it’s true that we tend to rate things differently than other sites do. I have, frankly, even considered doing away with ratings altogether, because people get so obsessively focused on them. I have never openly responded to these accusations, because I don’t want to waste the time and energy. However, there is one complaint which deserves a rebuttal because it’s just flat out wrong and I want to set the record straight publicly.
DarkTribe – The Modern Age Review
“It’s difficult to shake the feeling that among all of metal’s subgenres, power metal remains the one that refuses to grow up, stuck forever in an adolescent state. Barring a few bands, the power metal scene might as well still be living in the middle of the nineties, when Stratovarius’ Visions had just been released, Nightwish were kind of relevant, and Symphony of Enchanted Lands, by that Italian band that used to be known simply as Rhapsody, lurked around the corner.” Ah, the 90s were the good old days for 80s style power metal.
Sigh – Graveward Review
“Sigh are on their tenth trip around the turntable and still spin at 45, since there isn’t a faster option. Graveward is their attempt to penetrate the monolithic shadow cast by In Somniphobia, an album so fantastically strange that it was a sidestep even by the standards of a band that defines the term “avant-garde”.” Sigh is a breath of fresh air.
Wind Rose – Wardens of the West Wind Review
“I’ll admit that I had to Google what a “wind rose” was whilst writing this review. Coming across as a standard-issue unfortunate but flowery power metal name, and I had awful lines like “kiss from a Wind Rose,” “every Wind Rose has it’s thorn,” and all manner of flatulence puns at the ready.” Bad band names don’t guarantee bad music, but c’mon! Nice font though.
Putrid Offal – Mature Necropsy Review
“I jumped on reviewing Putrid Offal’s debut album, Mature Necropsy, like a retiree on an early bird special when I saw a lineup of three guys that may actually have a few years on me. These French gore hounds formed 25 years ago, split up five later, and dug the carcass up again in 2013.” Getting tired of juvenile necropsies? Well these geriatric gore rockers are here to make you watch Murder She Wrote and eat ribbon candy.