“In Human Form has me trapped in a corner. In addition to being a mouthful, Opening of the Eye by the Death of the I has seen my prosaic muse torn to pieces. I doubt this current dry spell stems from a lack of comprehension, but I pray nonetheless for a moment of clarity to absolve this torment. An undertaking this ambitious and idiosyncratic surely has a story to tell, but my thoughts are born dead, the empty words of an overactive imagination.” Open the mind or die.
“‘Sir, the Tyrannosaurus’ are too strong. They’ve breached level four!’
‘Shit!’
‘What do we do!?’
‘I…uh…send for The Sorcerer. He’s our only hope now.’
‘But, sir, there’s a chance the atmosphere down there could cause a cataclysmic fusion. The Sorcerer could perish, or even worse…’
‘Just do it, rat! Either The Sorcerer succeeds or the Tyrannosorceress is born. God help us all.'” This theme park was a bad idea.
“The AMG blog is a well-oiled machine. Thus, even a minor wrench in the gears on the part of the writers is met with the most dire of consequences. Last week, that wrench was yours truly, as I turned in a late review due to a sudden bout of illness that caused last-minute work (and general annoyance) on the part of our editors. You know what they say: you mess with the bull, you get the ‘core.” Let slip the dogs of ‘core.
“Take a good hard look at your music collection. Go on, I’ll wait. Do you have a lot of black metal in your CD, vinyl, cassette, or MP3 collection? If not, ignore what I’m about to say, but if you do… how much of it is of the variety that Euronymous would shit his leather trousers for? There’s a good chance that there’s not much of it because, let’s face it, black metal has become such a gimongous umbrella that anything that may have hyper-blasts, tremolo riffing, and a production that cranks the high end up would fall into this category” Wield the black umbrella.
“In my time writing at AMG, I’ve described albums as everything from ’emotionally gripping’ to ‘the pungent air inside my friend’s asshole.’ Yet I’ve never heard something I’d actually call ‘scary.’ That changed, however, upon my first listen of Anima Nostra’s sophomore album Atraments.” Fear is the Mark killer.
“Does anyone passionately have a favorite Entrails record? This question has animated this review, and I think the answer is “no” in a meaningful sense. People can, and probably do, like one Entrails record better than the others, but I get the feeling that the reasons are a lot more arbitrary than the ones behind the decision about which Morbid Angel record is the best one.” Death takes guts.
“First, there was Ofermod’s new record, Sol Nox. A solid outing from a band with a notoriety tied directly to the quality of their releases. Though the band shares many connections to “larger” bands in the Swedish black metal scene, Ofermod is a wholly underrated gem. But, Ofermod aren’t the only ones. No, there are others. Many of you may not know them, so let me introduce you to Svartsyn; one of my favorite black metal acts of all time.” Lick the Devil.
“The French are well-known for pushing envelopes in the black metal genre. From Deathspell Omega’s angular tremolo attack to Blut Aus Nord’s atonal warped melodies and bizarre trip-hop rhythms, France has proven to be a fertile breeding ground for innovative black metal. So when Paris’ Merrimack stands out by sounding Scandinavian, well, it’s gonna stick out like a sore thumb.” French missing.
“In the opening moments of the original Conan the Barbarian film, Conan’s father holds up a newly forged sword and solemnly instructs his son that in their world, you can trust no man, woman or beast, only cold steel. This wisdom is as applicable today as it was in the Hyborian Age, but allow your own friendly neighborhood Steel to attach a modern-day proviso. When a new Iced Earth album arrives, you can trust it will include three things: bombast, bravado and triplets. Many, many triplets.” Orc-fried Ice.
“The thorough and rigorous research process which all bands with whom I’m unfamiliar undergo relented one key piece of information for Seattle’s A Flourishing Scourge: they shared a bill with Rhine who I reviewed last year and who I noted for their unusual and disparate range of influences.” Woe to the easily influenced.
