Feed Her to the Sharks

Nocturnal Graves – Titan Review

Nocturnal Graves – Titan Review

“Everybody has a desert island album, but if I were to pick a desert island scene, it would have to be Australian metal. For music that’ll satisfy you for the rest of your wretched life, look no further than the iconic blackened thrash of Deströyer 666 and Gospel of the Horns, the guilty pleasure metalcore of Parkway Drive and Feed Her to the Sharks. Or the subject of today’s discussion, the almighty Nocturnal Graves.” Cast away in a grave.

We Have the Moon – Till the Morning Comes Review

We Have the Moon – Till the Morning Comes Review

“This is it, folks. We spent years telling our kids they were special, years encouraging them to be creative and let their imaginations run wild. No doubt this encouragement led to some fantastic art, but there was certainly some that were lacking. Fortunately, parents or instructors were typically there to steer these budding musicians along, telling them gently to ‘try something else’ or ‘maybe play soccer instead.’ But of course, there were always a few that slipped through the cracks.” Bad moon rising.

Cold Black – Circles Review

Cold Black – Circles Review

“Artery Recordings. We meet again. Your last release featured on this website was one of the great crimes against humanity in recent times. And now you have the cheek to submit another promo to us?! Us with our objective opinions and devout obstinacy towards all forms of metalcore?! And them with those hipster haircuts?! Someone get these guys a tombstone, I’m about to shred them.” Trouble’s abrewin’.

Shark Infested Daughters – These Tides, Our Tombs Review

Shark Infested Daughters – These Tides, Our Tombs Review

“It seems misogynistic violence is on trend in metalcore. Feed Her to the Sharks led the aquatic way with Zombies Ate My Girlfriend chomping in its wake, both exacting satisfying chugs and saccharine melodies unto the metal public in a reasonable throwback to the All That Remains– or Bullet For My Valentine-dominated scene from the mid-’00s. Now Shark Infested Daughters steps up to invoke unpleasant images of ravaged women with their debut, These Tides, Our Tombs.” Please don’t feed the freakin’ sharks!

The Browning – Isolation Review

The Browning – Isolation Review

“In all honesty, I grabbed Isolation – the Kansas City quartet’s third full length since forming in 2005 – fully expecting to hate it. After all the great albums that landed in my lap recently, low-brow electronica/metalcore seemed like an interesting change of pace, and while I get 95% of our readership probably despises this music, I did my best to go into Isolation with an open mind.” Masochism is alive at AMG.

Adept – Sleepless Review

Adept – Sleepless Review

“Look, I get it: ‘metalcore’ is a dirty word in the metal community. Telling a bunch of underground metalheads that you like metalcore is the equivalent of painting a big scarlet letter right between your set of Fred Durst nipple rings. And while I agree the genre has its shortcomings, I can’t help but enjoy it nonetheless. Part of it’s because this is the music I grew up with – sure, there’s lots of emo choruses and re-purposed Gothenburg riffs, but they’re my emo choruses and re-purposed Gothenburg riffs!” We have a Core infection in Sector 6!

Indefensible Positions: El Cuervo Defends Scream Aim Fire

Indefensible Positions: El Cuervo Defends Scream Aim Fire

“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively pisses on a band or record and someone needs to step up and defend why they like it. We normally don’t spend a lot of time defending shitty records, but sometimes genuinely interesting or good records get lampooned by an overly conservative heavy metal scene and that calls for a professional contrarian to defend it! If ever there were professional contrarians, it would be the staff of AMG. So here we are to re-hash a record from our past that (some of us) love that everyone else seems to have soured on (or never liked in the first place).” This one is even more indefensible than usual!

iwrestledabearonce – Hail Mary Review

iwrestledabearonce – Hail Mary Review

“Let’s talk metalcore. The much-maligned genre derided by all the ‘cultured’ as trash, which shifts off the shelves faster than a jet-powered jaguar amongst those with ‘plebeian’ tastes. You, loyal reader, have disparaged the genre at one time, just as I did – there was a phase where the merest hint of a breakdown induced spontaneous and forceful ejection of my stomach’s contents. As a younger chap, I was taking my first tentative steps into the self-absorbed swamp that is metal just as metalcore was taking off, and I’ve observed its explosion and subsequent implosion with due care.” It’s down to the wire, can we get a Hail Mary over here?

We Butter the Bread With Butter – Wieder Geil! Review

We Butter the Bread With Butter – Wieder Geil! Review

“I don’t care how your last album, Golderkind, left your fans “irritated,” and how with Wieder Geil! (“Horny Again”) you aim to win them back. I don’t care that your target audience seems to be people who were jamming Attack! Attack! circa 2008. I don’t care, because I’m only here to judge your music.” Basically, he just doesnt care anymore.