Indefensible Positions

Yer Indefensible Metal is Olde: Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory

Yer Indefensible Metal is Olde: Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory

“Any attempts to explain the appeal and prevalence of nü-metal to someone who didn’t live through its invasion firsthand would surely be futile. Sure, even in its heyday there were plenty of anti-hipsters eager to decry the fledgling sub-genre to anyone not set to Away in their AIM directory, yet those of us who sipped on Surge instead of Haterade saw nü-metal as something more than a particularly loud Hot Topic clearance event.” Park and deride.

Indefensible Positions: Dr. A.N. Grier Attacks/Defends St. Anger

Indefensible Positions: Dr. A.N. Grier Attacks/Defends St. Anger

“How it all began, no one knows. It seemed like any other day when the storm clouds began to move in formation over San Francisco. The storm used the evils and unfortunates that amassed in its billowing blackness to flood the city in anger. Anyone that was there, that cared to look beyond what appeared to be nothing more than a typical squall, described the events with this single word: anger. Metallica‘s peeps were angry. They were angry at Lars and James. They were angry at Jason. They were angry that Lars and James let Jason leave. They were mad that Kirk’s solos were gone. They felt sad for Mustaine’s crybaby bullshit. And they hated Bob Rock.” Click here for bait.

Indefensible Positions: TheKenWord Defends The Open Door

Indefensible Positions: TheKenWord Defends The Open Door

“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively pisses on a band or record and someone needs to step up and defend why they like it. We normally don’t spend a lot of time defending shitty records, but sometimes genuinely interesting or good records get lampooned by an overly conservative heavy metal scene and that calls for a professional contrarian to defend it! If ever there were professional contrarians, it would be the staff of AMG.” Cred and buried.

Yer Indefensible 90’s Weirdness is Olde: Paradise Lost – One Second

Yer Indefensible 90’s Weirdness is Olde: Paradise Lost – One Second

“Once upon a time, England’s doom/death saints Paradise Lost were poised to become their country’s (and even their continent’s) answer to the mighty Metallica. Going from the atonal death/doom of their humble beginnings to their more streamlined sound, the West Yorkshire quintet were on the cusp of breaking big after the impact of 1993’s Icon and 1995’s powerful Yer Metal is Olde-inductee, Draconian Times. Seeing their star on the rise, Paradise Lost did what any self-respecting metal band would do: they got haircuts, abandoned the doom metal they were most known for and loved, and jumped on the Depeche Mode wagon.” Walking on glumshine.

Indefensible Positions: El Cuervo Defends Scream Aim Fire

Indefensible Positions: El Cuervo Defends Scream Aim Fire

“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively pisses on a band or record and someone needs to step up and defend why they like it. We normally don’t spend a lot of time defending shitty records, but sometimes genuinely interesting or good records get lampooned by an overly conservative heavy metal scene and that calls for a professional contrarian to defend it! If ever there were professional contrarians, it would be the staff of AMG. So here we are to re-hash a record from our past that (some of us) love that everyone else seems to have soured on (or never liked in the first place).” This one is even more indefensible than usual!

Indefensible Positions: El Cuervo Defends Chinese Democracy

Indefensible Positions: El Cuervo Defends Chinese Democracy

“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively pisses on a band or record and someone needs to step up and defend why they like it. We normally don’t spend a lot of time defending shitty records, but sometimes genuinely interesting or good records get lampooned by an overly conservative heavy metal scene and that calls for a professional contrarian to defend it! If ever there were professional contrarians, it would be the staff of AMG.” Cold Lake would be easier to defend!

Indefensible Positions: Grymm Attacks De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas

Indefensible Positions: Grymm Attacks De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas

“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively heaps too much praise on a band or record and someone needs to step up and announce that the Emperor has no clothing. We normally don’t spend a lot of time attacking beloved records, but sometimes genuinely overrated records get far too much love from the metal sheeples and that calls for a professional contrarian to set things right! If ever there were professional contrarians, they would be us at AMG.” Grymm decides to kick the sacred cow of Norwegian black metal and stir up a hornets nest of frigid fury. Ask us for his phone number and we just may give it to you.

Indefensible Positions: Steel Druhm Defends Cold Lake

Indefensible Positions: Steel Druhm Defends Cold Lake

“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively pisses on a band or record and someone needs to step up and defend why they like it. We normally don’t spend a lot of time defending shitty records, but sometimes genuinely interesting or good records get lampooned by an overly conservative heavy metal scene and that calls for a professional contrarian to defend it! If ever there were professional contrarians, it would be the staff of AMG. So here we are to re-hash a record from our past that (some of us) love that everyone else seems to have soured on (or never liked in the first place).” This time, Steel Druhm gamely tries to defend one of the most universally hated albums in metal history: Celtic Frost‘s Cold Lake. Godspeed, good Steel.

Indefensible Positions:  Grymm Defends Projector

Indefensible Positions: Grymm Defends Projector

Every once in a while the metal scene collectively pisses on a band or record and someone needs to step up and defend why they like it. We normally don’t spend a lot of time defending shitty records, but sometimes genuinely interesting or good records get lampooned by an overly conservative heavy metal scene and that calls for a professional contrarian to defend it! If ever there were professional contrarians, it would be the staff of AMG. So here we are to re-hash a record from our past that (some of us) love that everyone else seems to have soured on (or never liked in the first place). Watch as Grymm gamely defends Projector: Dark Tranquillity‘s most reviled album. They say luck favors the foolhardy!

Indefensible Positions: Mr. Fisting Attacks Slaughter of the Soul

Indefensible Positions: Mr. Fisting Attacks Slaughter of the Soul

Every once in a while the metal scene collectively heaps too much praise on a band or record and someone needs to step up and announce that the Emperor has no clothing. We normally don’t spend a lot of time attacking beloved records, but sometimes genuinely overrated records get far too much love from the metal sheeples and that calls for a professional contrarian to set things right! If ever there were professional contrarians, they would be us at AMG. This floor: troll bait and flame throwers.