“One look at that cover and you knew I’d be the chosen one to review it, didn’t you? And rightly so, as Ravensire has an imposing Throne of Usurpation built directly on the epicenter of my metallic wheelhouse. They rock a burly form of trve metal similar to Visigoth and Ironsword, and since that means Conan-core, you can expect much Cirith Ungol worshiping, Manowar loin clothing and Manilla Road raging.” If you’re bored, reforge the sword!
“I chose Shotgun Justice randomly without knowing anything about them or their sound, the only connection being they shared their moniker with one of my favorite thrash metal albums (see the Razor retrospective Druhm and I shat out in 2014). Do these Krauts live up to that thrashtastic standard?” Standards are made to be broken.
“There are several unassailable truths in heavy metal. A brutal death metal concert will always smell like garbage and unwashed socks. The wait for a new Necrophagist album will always be the metal blogosphere’s running joke. And when a band experiences some commercial and critical success after employing a fresh sound, you can bet your Ghost buttplug there will be a slew of imitators there to jump on the bandwagon and catch whatever stray dollars they can.” And that brings us to the flavor of the day.
“If there was ever a “Yacht Metal” band, Tobias Sammet’s aspirational ego project Avantasia is it. Perpetually over-sized, ostentatious, crowded with celebrities and in danger of sinking under the weight of its own pretentious pomposity, the entire catalog is a monument to the man’s inherent lack of restraint.” But is that ship still seaworthy and can they see the Ghostlights from the distant shore?
“Just last week we covered Manimal and their crusade to recreate Judas Priest’s Painkiller for the umpteenth time. Now Primal Fear magically appears as if summoned from some traditional classic metal purgatory to defend their title of Lead Priest Imitator Supreme.” You just don’t mess with another man’s eagle.
“This is quite a surprise, as I never expected to hear from these guys again. Manimal (who’s name I hate because it reminds me of the ultra cheesy 70s sci-fi show) dropped a promising debut in 2009 then proceeded to fall off the edge of the world. I forgot them, life went on and then, BOOM! A new Manimal album arrives in my promo bin.” No one knows when the Manimal may strike!
“I’ve said it before and now I’ll say it again: there are only a few bands I know won’t disappoint me and Brainstorm is the vanguard of those few precious dependables. Sure, some albums are more massive than others, but they’ve yet to let me down with a weak or uninspired effort.” Steel loves his dependables and his Depends.
“I love cheese. Think of all the wonderful things that wouldn’t exist without it. Pizza, cheeseburgers, nachos, quesadillas, 2003 Al Roker. Cheese is one of those things that, with rare exception, there can never be enough of. Our mission here at AMG is to be thorough and fair, so we listen to an album at minimum of a good three or six times. Since Instigator’s Bad Future EP is so short you can probably triple that.” Sure, cheese tastes good, but it will clog you up.
“When I hear ‘sludge,’ I have a very specific sound in mind. I want wretched vocals, whiskey-soaked guitar riffs, and lyrics about living at the absolute nadir of human existence. I want it to live up to its name, flooding the sonic landscape with riffs that sound like they were written in an abandoned warehouse during an opium binge. Thus, I was a bit disappointed when first researching Ontario’s Adrenechrome and finding that the ‘sludge’ tag often used to describe them is, alas, very loosely applied.” What’s wrong with happy-go-lucky sludge?
“One Foot in the Flesh Grave’s take on doom punk and swamp rock is just the kind of experience I was hoping for. Formed in the cruel, unrelenting heat of Corpus Christi (Texas), Wailin Storms must have quickly realized that to stand out, their sound needed more than just the country and rockabilly twang they were being exposed to.” Music for misfits and serial killers.
