“New Jersey’s Blood Feast is yet another in a seemingly endless stream of resurrected relics that reaffirms I’ll never reach the bottom of the well o’ denim ‘n bullet belts.” Look what crawled out of the NJ swamp lands.
Hells Headbangers Records
Cultes Des Ghoules – Coven, or Evil Ways Instead of Love Review
“When I was a wee little Grymmling, I developed an addiction to peanut butter cups. I know, it’s hard to get addicted to the heavenly concoction of peanut butter wrapped in milk chocolate, but as a kid, the flavor combination blew my mind. So when I was a teenager and worked my first job, I did what any respectable teen would do; I bought a fuck-ton of peanut butter cups and gorged on them. Needless to say, the stomach issues weren’t pleasant. That memory sprung to mind when I snagged Coven, or Evil Ways Instead of Love, the third full-length by Polish black metal weirdos Cultes Des Ghoules.” Bring forth the Comfy Chair!
Crucified Mortals – Psalms of the Dead Choir Review
“Choosing what to do for Halloween is, in some sense, a lot like choosing how to be a metal band. You can try to deliberately frighten people, like Portal, be as provocative as possible, like Anal Cunt, flaunt your good feminine looks like the one member of Amaranthe anyone cares about, do something wacky and out-of-the-box like Troldhaugen, or you can throw on some old goblin mask and just go get drunk, loud and rowdy.” The goblins and ghosts are at the door.
Throneum – Morbid Death Tales Review
“Another day, another blackened death release from Hells Headbangers. It’s not that I don’t like what the label puts out — the past few years have seen great material from Destrukor, Denouncement Pyre, and Profanatica, to name but a few. But it’s albums like Morbid Death Tales that make me wonder if some bands just utilize a filthy sound and the ‘no trends, just pure metal!’ aesthetic as an excuse for churning out music which is half-assed, knowing full well that members of their ‘kvlt’ fanbase will rabidly devour it regardless.” A diet overly high in kvlt is not recommended.
Hobbs’ Angel of Death – Heaven Bled Review
“The year is 1987. Robocop is in theaters, thrash metal is booming, and my mommy and daddy are just a few short years away from bumpin’ uglies to produce yours truly. On the other side of the world, an Australian Slayer fan named Peter Hobbs decides to transform his thrash band Tyrus into a new project named after Reign in Blood’s infamous opening track. The result is Hobbs’ Angel of Death – ostensibly one of the first bands from Down Under to play what we now know as classic thrash metal.” The social thrash contract must not be broken!
Nuke – Nuke Review
“If you are looking for groundbreaking speed metal, Nuke doesn’t have it. But it is exactly what you want from a speed-metal record and it has become the rebellious soundtrack to my sultry weekends. Once spun, you begin to hear the rolling thunder of domesticated, metal-head dads everywhere. They all roll out of bed on a Saturday morning, raise middle fingers to their front yards, and tell that unkempt grass to go fuck itself.” The Lawn Doctor is out!
Denouncement Pyre – Black Sun Unbound Review
“For an American who’s never visited, Australia seems like the coolest place on Earth. I get emissions testing done on my Toyota and listen to an old Army veteran reminisce about the beachy weather and beautiful women he met during his R&R travel there. I talk to a co-worker and hear stories about young women writing their phone numbers on tennis balls and tossing them onto the deck of his ship as it pulled into Sydney. I shotgun a Fosters while riding a kangaroo, wearing Globes, and blasting Deströyer 666 loud enough to crush my balls. I may have made one of those up. Point is, I love Australian metal, and Denouncement Pyre is no exception.” Disparaging the Boot is a bootable offense, Mark!
Profanatica – The Curling Flame of Blasphemy Review
“Try as I may I can’t understand what’s so compelling about anti-Christian blasphemy in metal. Have bands not realized that the Satanic Panic ended in the last millennium? Do they think they’re actually offending anyone, or making any argument, no matter how hack, that hasn’t been made before? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that bands like American black-death blasphemers Profanatica should give up on their blasphemies against Christ. I just don’t understand how such ideals can animate good music.” Blasphemy!
Bat – Wings of Chains Review
“Once upon a time there was a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Today we get Wings of Chains by Bat, and they too bring the sound and fury, but in their case it definitely signifies something. That something being rowdy, sloppy and ill-tempered speed metal guaranteed to make old timers grin in gruesomely gap-toothed glee.” Break these chains of…wings?
Shed the Skin – Harrowing Faith Review
“Those of you who were in high school when the deathcore thing really took off like I was will instantly recoil a bit at Shed the Skin’s “VERB the NOUN” Fad-Libs type of name, but fear not; Harrowing Faith won’t send your mind pit-ninja-dancing back to the neon-tinted halcyon days of Myspace where there was little more to life than finding the most brutal of chugs.” Ah, Myspace, where did you go so wrong?
