iwrestledabearonce

Mora Prokaza – By Chance Review

Mora Prokaza – By Chance Review

“Your fifth grade science fair project. Frankenstein’s monster. That godawful sandwich you made of leftover hash browns, macaroni and cheese, hot dog buns, and spaghetti sauce. Said godawful sandwich growing furry mold sitting in the back of your fridge after vowing you’ll eat it later. What do all these have in common? They’re experiments, forays into the unknown. Rife with experimentation, will Mora Prokaza‘s latest blackened oddity fall into the happy slurpee realm or the “acquired taste” maggot cheese kingdom?” I’ll just stick with the Haggis.

Cold Black – Circles Review

Cold Black – Circles Review

“Artery Recordings. We meet again. Your last release featured on this website was one of the great crimes against humanity in recent times. And now you have the cheek to submit another promo to us?! Us with our objective opinions and devout obstinacy towards all forms of metalcore?! And them with those hipster haircuts?! Someone get these guys a tombstone, I’m about to shred them.” Trouble’s abrewin’.

Corona Skies – Fragments of Reality Review

Corona Skies – Fragments of Reality Review

“Having read plenty of trash masquerading as philosophy and heard plenty of nonsensical music both within and without metal, I figured I was desensitized to weird stuff. Hell, the world seems almost desensitized to weirdness; Jacques Lacan, one of the biggest dolts to ever pretend to think about stuff and write it down, posited that an erection was equal to the square root of -1 and more than zero people took him seriously.” Weird is full of surprises.

Motorowl – Om Generator Review

Motorowl – Om Generator Review

“I do still ponder how it is certain bands get big and others don’t. A world where iwrestledabearonce is hot shit and Wilderun isn’t is cruel and unjust but much of that seems to be down to lucky exposure to label scouts. At the luckier end, take Motorowl. A tiny band from Eastern Germany with scarcely 500 followers on Facebook and no outstanding reason to have garnered the attention of a large label.”It’s better to be lucky AND good.

iwrestledabearonce – Hail Mary Review

iwrestledabearonce – Hail Mary Review

“Let’s talk metalcore. The much-maligned genre derided by all the ‘cultured’ as trash, which shifts off the shelves faster than a jet-powered jaguar amongst those with ‘plebeian’ tastes. You, loyal reader, have disparaged the genre at one time, just as I did – there was a phase where the merest hint of a breakdown induced spontaneous and forceful ejection of my stomach’s contents. As a younger chap, I was taking my first tentative steps into the self-absorbed swamp that is metal just as metalcore was taking off, and I’ve observed its explosion and subsequent implosion with due care.” It’s down to the wire, can we get a Hail Mary over here?