Rap Metal

Stuck in the Filter – June’s Angry Misses

Stuck in the Filter – June’s Angry Misses

“So here’s a segment you all likely are too young to remember/never thought you’d see again. And it comes from the most unlikely source to boot—me! I discovered this feature through one of our monthly staff review calls/execution ceremonies, and I thought it was a shame we don’t use it more often. This comes on the back of a month where many of us were swamped with life events, massive overtime at work, and other such stressors. Naturally, we missed a bunch of releases, both ones we received promo for and ones we didn’t.” No filter!

Mora Prokaza – By Chance Review

Mora Prokaza – By Chance Review

“Your fifth grade science fair project. Frankenstein’s monster. That godawful sandwich you made of leftover hash browns, macaroni and cheese, hot dog buns, and spaghetti sauce. Said godawful sandwich growing furry mold sitting in the back of your fridge after vowing you’ll eat it later. What do all these have in common? They’re experiments, forays into the unknown. Rife with experimentation, will Mora Prokaza’s latest blackened oddity fall into the happy slurpee realm or the “acquired taste” maggot cheese kingdom?” I’ll just stick with the Haggis.

Griiim – Pope Art Review

Griiim – Pope Art Review

“Once upon a time there was a dude named Maxime Taccardi. Max has a twisted and dark mind, and I fear it. His music is equally frightening, and it makes me uncomfortable. Yet, I can’t turn it off. Try as I might to fend it off his insidious vision haunts my imagination, conjuring the most depraved scenarios for me to weather. For Max, it seems, this place of nightmares which he creates represents the repugnant underbelly of his Paris home. And so he put all that we refuse to see inside the “most romantic city in the world” to music. Ladies and gentlemen, Griiim’s Pope Art.” Warhol’s twisted Id.

Fall of Carthage – The Longed-For Reckoning Review

Fall of Carthage – The Longed-For Reckoning Review

“The monkey’s paw is gripped tightly in your hands, a mangy curio purchased on your recent travel abroad. The wizened fakir that sold it to you promised it could fulfill any wish, an absurd statement but here in the stillness of your room curiosity has sunk its claws deep into you and a whispered plea escapes your lips: ;I wish for an album that can recapture the sound of early Machine Head.'” If wishes were Machine Heads, Rob Flynn would abide.

Project Theory – Something between Us Review

Project Theory – Something between Us Review

“Given that I have a great relationship with my father, didn’t get bullied in high school, and don’t hate my hometown, my qualifications to review nu-metal are basically nil. Alas, I’ve made my superiors here rather upset in some way, shape, or form and have been duly saddled with a Greek nu-metal opus in the form of Project Theory’s Something between Us.” Ouch.

Dr. Fisting Comments: on Body Count Songs About Body Count

Dr. Fisting Comments: on Body Count Songs About Body Count

“Throughout metal’s history, bands have occasionally written songs named after themselves. Motorhead has one. Iron Maiden has one. Black Sabbath has one and a half. But only one group has had the nerve to compose five songs about themselves, and obviously that would be AMG house band, Body Count.” A body by any other name would smell as…sweet?

Liturgy – The Ark Work Review

Liturgy – The Ark Work Review

“Whenever anyone proposes that an artist, album, or condiment is something I’ll “love or hate,” I feel an intense compulsion to remain ambivalent about whatever art, music, or Marmite they’re talking about. “You don’t know me!” my brain spits, “your artificial dichotomy is patently absurd, and I’ll prove it by maintaining a neutral and balanced view!”” Objective, subjective. Love or hate. This is the life of the metal reviewer.

Things You Might Have Missed 2014: Body Count – Manslaughter

Things You Might Have Missed 2014: Body Count – Manslaughter

“June 10th, 2014: I looked out of my window and saw pigs flying, and shortly thereafter received a text from Satan asking why Hell just froze over. Suddenly I remembered that Ice-T’s rap metal outfit Body Count had just released Manslaughter, so I grabbed hold of one of the aforementioned pigs and flew to my local record store to pick up a copy. Upon hearing Manslaughter in its entirety, I texted Satan the answer to his question: “because a great rap metal album was released in 2014.”” There goes the neighborhood, again!