“Contempt for Man. Now there’s an album name I can get behind. I drive down the road and pull my hair out at drivers for whom “turn signal” is a foreign concept. I go to Walmart and see writhing bits of humanity shuffling around, eyes glazed over and blood pumping furiously to their heads as they attempt to operate a self-checkout machine. I think to myself that these people are breeding. These people are voting. These people are sharing their opinions on the internet.” Hell is other people.
“To people unacquainted with beer, they’ll all taste the same. For those acquainted, the differences will be recognized but sometimes tough to adequately express. Such is it too with the genus of murky, cavernous death metal, the type which Drawn and Quartered traffic in on The One who Lurks.” Beer, lurking and death.
Michael Romeo is one of prog/power’s finest genii and is deservedly renowned for his day job as the guitarist and primary composer in Symphony X. Little known, however, is that Romeo released a solo album called The Dark Chapter in 1995. Only available on YouTube, the album is a mind-blowing display of, on the one hand, Romeo’s virtuoso talent and, on the other hand, just how far recording has come in the 23 years since its release. The Dark Chapter’s first followup record is entitled War of the Worlds, Part 1 and on the surface, these two albums have little in common.
“Once upon a time I went all in for the larger than life prog bombast of Fates Warning and later, Dream Theater. I admired the cerebral nature of both their works and the mind-blowing level of technical proficiency with which they delivered it. Over the years, Dream Theater lost their way and the ability to deliver memorable material, but Fates Warning modified and ultimately streamlined their sound to remain a reliable, engaging act 30-plus years into their career arc. Redemption, a sort of prog super group helmed by Fates Warning’s Ray Alder and some Fates expats, has managed a successful run of albums by following Fates’ blueprint and delivering songs first, with wankery added in a relatively unobtrusive way.” A long noodle’s journey.
“As my musical tastes expand ever outwards, it becomes increasingly fascinating to revisit bands I once held in high esteem. This includes a countless number of power metal bands that have aged approximately as well as room temperature milk, as I was once immune to the effects of achingly derivative performances, awkward theatrical singing, and directionless guitar wankery. I hadn’t listened to Derdian in years before spying this familiar, silly name in the depths of the AMG promo quagmire.” Cheese in the muck.
“Talons’ newest effort ending up here might seem like a mistake, or at least a con by a reviewer with a well-documented soft spot for math rock. The band don’t quite fit the cavities made for them; with idiosyncratic instrumentation and twice as many members as the usual English math-/post-rock outfit, they probably can’t even cram onto the stages used by their peers. At the same time, despite obvious heaviness and impressive technicality, the group seems to be largely ignored by metal lovers that might be better poised to appreciate a six-piece with two full-time fiddlers. We All Know might be the album to finally win us over.” Math rock is hard.
“Okay, I’ve got a question: do stoner rock bands write and play high, or do they just cater to those in the world who like to listen to their music while drifting in a haze of smoke? I don’t know any bands of this particular style personally, so I can’t ask them. I do remember Keith Richards once saying, ‘Don’t play high until you can play sober.’ Or maybe it was Jaco Pastorius. Or Jimi Hendrix. Or Thelonius Monk. Or Charlie Parker. Augh, I don’t know! Regardless, it’s a question I have whenever I listen to a stoner metal album, and today’s entry from Polish band Spaceslug is no exception.” Space Slug, motherf_cker.
“During my last job interview, a favorite question of mine popped up: ‘What are your weaknesses?’ Because I don’t believe anything or anybody is perfect, I remember digging deep for a few strong examples of my shortcomings but being sure that I excluded the fact that I hate people. I also recall my mind wandering off to what many friends consider my greatest weakness: that I only listen to metal.” HR knows your weaknesses.
“When your parents said to follow your passion, I don’t think they meant for you to throw on a zip-up face mask, sling a taxidermy animal over your shoulder, and become a fucking weirdo. Yet that’s exactly what The Lion’s Daughter have done on third album Future Cult, and the result is sure to confound anyone familiar with the band previously.” Taxidermy is creepy.
“With magic, the devil is in the details, particularly when treating with the forces of darkness. Make one wrong move and you might find your spleen ruptured or your housecat warped into some sort of hellbeast. If I might invoke a rather maltreated metaphor, so it is with old-school heavy metal. The devil, in this case, comes in the form of French heavy/power metal outfit Elvenstorm and their fourth album The Conjuring. As for the details, there’s the obvious question. In spite of a well-worn style — a dead one by some measures — can Elvenstorm at least offer an enjoyable listening experience?” Magic: The Bothering.
