Mercyful Fate

Vampire – Rex Review

Vampire – Rex Review

“When we last heard from Swedish vampires, err… Vampire, they impressed me in 2017 with their Castlevania II/80’s inspired With Primeval Force, and although it didn’t crack my Top Ten(ish) that year, it still worms its way into my listening sessions on a continual basis around these parts. I was beginning to worry that the merry (undead) quintet would lay dormant, so imagine my surprise when the higher-ups threw Rex at my lap and told me to get on that shit, pronto.” Rex the necks.

Freddy and the Phantoms – A Universe from Nothing Review

Freddy and the Phantoms – A Universe from Nothing Review

“I found myself wondering whether the members of Freddy and the Phantoms who aren’t the eponymous vocalist/keyboardist Frederick (Freddy) Schnoor write down “Phantom at Freddy and the Phantoms” on their resume. The promo material did not answer this pressing question, so I’ll happily assume they do. Also on the resume of any given Phantom is participation in one of 2015’s best rock records: Times of Division.” Rocking the stars.

Malokarpatan – Krupinské ohne Review

Malokarpatan – Krupinské ohne Review

“No matter who you are or where you live, everyone is being asked to stay home from a job that they may not get to come back to. Or… living it up with their family in a mansion whose walls sport the fashionable 2020 Vintage Toilet Tissue Wallpaper. Then there’re others of us that push on like nothing is happening. Regardless of your dilemma, this shit has come out of nowhere and I-just-went-in-for-eggs-and-left-after-four-hours-because-only-ten-people-were-allowed-into-the-store-at-one-time is a thing. Everyone’s upset and no one knows what’s gonna happen next. Funny enough, that’s the perfect attitude to have for Malokarpatan‘s newest masterpiece, Krupinské ohne.”

Bütcher – 666 Goats Carry My Chariot Review

Bütcher – 666 Goats Carry My Chariot Review

“Did you ever stop and wonder what a collaboration between Mercyful Fate, Celtic Frost, Agent Steel and Darkthrone circa Transilvanian Hunger would sound like? You probably didn’t, but Belgium blackened speed metal deviants Bütcher certainly did, and then they created 666 Goats Carry My Chariot to see if such a crazy musical time heist was even possible. It is, and I for one welcome our new time warping speed overlords, even as I flee from the super weapon of mass destruction they’ve wrought.” Goat show.

Midnight Priest – Aggressive Hauntings [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]

Midnight Priest – Aggressive Hauntings [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]

“I like focus and consistency, so a whole record of quick and quality heavy metal songs is always something I keep an ear to the ground for. This year the ground decided to scream “Midnight Priest” at me—a bit rude, but I can’t argue with the results.” Worship and then burn the night.

Reveal – Scissorgod Review

Reveal – Scissorgod Review

“No month of horror movies leading up to the big day. No romantic nights with Elvira. No King Diamond/Mercyful Fate marathons. But, I’ll be goddamned if Halloween escapes me before 2019 ends. So, instead of turkey preparations and being thankful for the useless shit in my life, November is my new October. And, as it turns out, there’s no one I’d rather spend it with than Reveal and their third concoction of mindfucking black and death, Scissorgod.” No safety scissors these.

Aggressive Perfector – Havoc at the Midnight Hour Review

Aggressive Perfector – Havoc at the Midnight Hour Review

“It’s clearly throwback week in the House ov Steel. No sooner do I crash land after high speed sledding through the 80s with Warsenal than I find myself prematurely buried in the creepy graveyard of 80s metal curated by England’s Aggressive Perfector. With a sound stuck in the mire between Mercyful Fate and Venom, and at times digging in the same graves that Deceased made a career out of defiling, their debut drags the unsuspecting listener through a horror revival of all the charmingly slimy metal hits of the 80s.” Havoc panic.

Slaughtbbath – Alchemical Warfare Review

Slaughtbbath – Alchemical Warfare Review

“Time to draw ourselves a Slaughtbbath, folks. What bathing in slaughtb feels like is known to those who heard 2013’s Hail to Fire, the predecessor of Alchemical Warfare and Slaughtbbath’s debut. I took a Slaughtbbath many times via Hail to Fire, which is the least important qualification I possess to review that record’s successor. My most important qualification? Look at my pen name, and then look at the title of this record; Slaughtbbath and I share an enjoyment of gratuitous Slayer puns.” Rub-a-drub-drub.

Mirror – Pyramid of Terror Review

Mirror – Pyramid of Terror Review

“Everything is retro nowadays. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a thing. I’ve heard people say that reviving significant trends from previous decades is the result of a complete lack of originality in the current one. But I think it’s simply a law of human nature. People in any given decade become fascinated with aesthetics from anywhere between 30-to-50 years ago—presumably because they’re just now (re-)discovering themand for a while the cultural landscape morphs into this weird amalgam of modern ideas squeezed through a retrospective filter. Or, sometimes people simply mimic whatever popular thing from whatever decade they have latched on to at the time.” Living in the past.