Grymm

The beard knows who is trve.

A Secret Revealed – When the Day Yearns For Light Review

By Grymm on October 29, 2021 in Reviews, Metalcore, Post-Metal, 22 comments

“Contrary to popular belief, we adhere to some concrete rules around these parts. You always put the toilet seat back down when you’re finished. You never, ever speak to the whereabouts of former writers once they move on to greener pastures. Finally, you don’t swipe another reviewer’s band unless you get permission first. Long story short, I nabbed When the Day Years For Light by German post-metallers A Secret Revealed without realizing that Cherd tackled their last one, Sacrifices, just two years ago. That said, after profusely apologizing to the sagely-bearded one, not once did he fight me for reviewing rights.” Promo chess and poorly kept secrets.

Ember Sun – On Earth and Heaven Review

By Grymm on October 27, 2021 in Reviews, Funeral Doom, 26 comments

“Here at Angry Metal Guy and His Amazing Super-Friends, we’ve all seen our fair share of one-person black metal. Seemingly every January, they all come out of their cocoons, sprout wings, and greet us all en-masse like the loveliest and most rewarding of locust swarms. But one-person funeral doom? Now that’s a treasured rarity, and not something that makes its presence known or felt all that often, if ever. And yet Lorthar, former guitarist for Greek black metallers Order of the Ebon Hand, felt that his prior band didn’t quite satisfy his needs, so he ventured off on his own to form Ember Sun, handling all duties and offering us On Earth and Heaven. Enter sad man.

Paydretz – Chroniques de l’Insurrection Review

By Grymm on October 7, 2021 in Reviews, Black Metal, Folk Metal, 52 comments

“If there’s something that black metal bands have been flocking to lately, besides corpse paint and hooded sweatshirts, it’s war. Over the last decade, the genre’s been scouring both World Wars to the point of picking at scraps. Scant few, if any, even bothered to turn their eyes to battles of centuries past, especially when it comes to the French Revolution or, more specifically, the War in the Vendée. A counter-revolution that lasted approximately three years and resulted in the slaughter of countless men, women, and children, the War in the Vendée remains an oft-overlooked bloodbath, save for the occasional historical film or two. Today, French supergroup Paydretz brings this historic tale to light on their debut, Chroniques de l’Insurrection.” Obscure French military history and metal.

Skepticism – Companion Review

By Grymm on September 22, 2021 in Reviews, 39 comments

“Autumn brings about a slow but captivating decay of leaves turning colors and dying, falling to the ground in a beautiful, somber reminder that life can change in a matter of years to a matter of seconds. So, with the passing of the seasons, now is a great time to pour a glass of your favorite spirit, sit in front of a fire, and partake in Companion, the sixth full-length by legendary Finnish funeral merchants, Skepticism.” Of doom and ice.

Billy Boy in Poison – Umbra Review

By Grymm on September 9, 2021 in Reviews, Metalcore, 28 comments

“Over the years, I find it difficult to look into the promo bin and not find myself becoming jaded with the biographical fluffery that accompanies each and every album that we review. For every one (and usually just one) album that nonchalantly flips the entire genre we all love on its head, there are literally thousands of bands that lay claim to boundaries being pushed, subgenres being blended, and new ideas being brought forth in a storm of creative energy when, in reality, it’s just the same damn thing we’ve been fed over and over again. So, when Danish quintet Billy Boy in Poison proclaims that they’ve created “a unique take on death metal with a modern, razor-sharp sound and even some metalcore vibes,” my eyebrows furrow.” Poison, hype, and delusion.

Our Place of Worship Is Silence – Disavowed, and Left Hopeless Review

By Grymm on August 24, 2021 in Reviews, Black Metal, Hardcore, Sludge, 30 comments

“Don’t you hate it when people randomly come up to you and force you into happiness? You know, the types that just get in your face and tell you that “You’d be (prettier, handsomer, approachable, etc.) if you’d just smile more”? Because there are fewer things more unnerving and anger-inducing as toxic positivity, especially when we’re still a good couple of feet underwater when it comes to the pandemic, American politics, and the world continuously burning all around us. Californian duo Our Place of Worship Is Silence knows this, having thrown down just three years ago with With Inexorable Suffering, a promising album that combined the ugliness of sludge, the brutality of hardcore, and the murk of French black metal.” Worship the unsilent rage.

Praise the Plague – The Obsidian Gate Review

By Grymm on July 27, 2021 in Reviews, Black Metal, Doom Metal, Sludge, 16 comments

“For as generally tired and played out the genre has become as of late, black metal pairs exceptionally well with a cornucopia of disparate genres. Sure, we all know that it goes together with death metal, like a harmonious, spiked-gauntleted, and dog-food-promoting Reese’s peanut butter cup. Doom, however, seems like a stranger chocolate for our humbled corpse-painted nut butter of dubious origins. Something about not only the speed involved, but also the “hurry up and get to the fucking point, already” aspect of doom that would, on the surface at least, seem contradictory to the icy, tremolo-infested sound that birthed many a hooded sweatshirt-clad frost-dweller. Thankfully, we have German quintet Praise the Plague.” Gate creepers.

Cavern Deep – Cavern Deep Review

By Grymm on July 20, 2021 in Reviews, Doom Metal, 11 comments

“Fuck mushrooms, man. Sure, that sounds pretty extreme, considering their healing properties and whatnot, but everyone’s favorite vegan meat substitute/hallucinogen/pizza topping contains some serious nightmare fuel. Take what they do to insects, for instance. “Dude, they’re ants,” you might scoff. Have you ever played The Last of Us? Also, Mario. Plumber extraordinaire. Eats one mushroom, gets “tall”, and kicks poor, defenseless turtles into each other while headbutting blocks for pocket change, glowing flowers made of fire, edible stars, and MORE MUSHROOMS. Shit ain’t normal, folks. So when Swedish trio Cavern Deep decided to pen a story about 50 archaeologists who discover a subterranean world loaded with luminescent fungi, you best believe that fuckery is afoot.” Shroom for growth.

Polemicist – Return of the Sophist Review

By Grymm on July 6, 2021 in Reviews, Black Metal, Death Metal, 29 comments

“Two years ago, due to the vulture-like voracity of my colleagues here towards the eternally decomposing corpse that is our promo bin, I discovered Zarathustrian Impressions, the debut album from Pennsylvanian blackened death scholars Polemicist solely on the fact that it was the last album not snatched up by my ravenous cohorts. It would be my colleagues’ loss, because despite being a back-heavy album with a questionable production, I was still impressed by what they had to offer musically, and even commented that they could very likely cast all eyes on them within a couple of albums.” The future is now, olde man!

Moanhand – Present Serpent Review

By Grymm on June 14, 2021 in Reviews, Alternative Metal, Black Metal, Doom Metal, 18 comments

“Try as I might, it’s hard to break out of patterns that take months, if not years, to craft and make a template out of. I still put actual milk in my coffee and not that oily Coffeemate bullshit. My breakfast omelets will always have cheddar cheese, bacon, and enough garlic to anger vampires. Above all, I like my doom metal to be… doom metal. Heavy. Oppressive. Mournful. That said, sometimes a little deviation can work wonders, and Roman Filatov, chief songwriter and solo proprietor of Moanhand, is seeking to woo the masses over with his creative take on a classic sound using a wide swath of influences.” Snake’s take.