Napalm Records

Hammer Fight – Profound and Profane Review

Hammer Fight – Profound and Profane Review

We can argue about what the dividing line between metal and hard rock is until the cows come home, involve the cows in the argument until we feel like steaks, and then argue over some rare 16 oz. deliciousness and a wonderful glass of Cornet. But a satisfying conclusion will never be reached. New Jersey’s Hammer Fight and their sophomore record Profound and Profane are intent on making this fight even more difficult by walking the dividing line with the precision of a man who’s just consumed fifteen beers and is intent on doing a balancing act using the lines in the dive bar parking lot. Regardless of genre tags, what we’re all concerned with here is whether or not Hammer Fight is the life of the party or the unfortunate soul who pukes in the punch bowl and falls asleep on the staircase.

Adept – Sleepless Review

Adept – Sleepless Review

“Look, I get it: ‘metalcore’ is a dirty word in the metal community. Telling a bunch of underground metalheads that you like metalcore is the equivalent of painting a big scarlet letter right between your set of Fred Durst nipple rings. And while I agree the genre has its shortcomings, I can’t help but enjoy it nonetheless. Part of it’s because this is the music I grew up with – sure, there’s lots of emo choruses and re-purposed Gothenburg riffs, but they’re my emo choruses and re-purposed Gothenburg riffs!” We have a Core infection in Sector 6!

Product of Hate – Buried in Violence Review

Product of Hate – Buried in Violence Review

“The most difficult part of this reviewing game are the albums so pedestrian, so utterly devoid of character that writing about them is nearly impossible. Upon listening to Buried in Violence, a black butt of despondency gathered over me, and my thesaurus quaked with excitement as I reached towards it, opened it, and leafed about in search of any possible way to express the album’s nature other than the one you’re about to read. Alas, Roget could see only so far into the future, and my search was fruitless.” Oh, now that’s a nail-biter!

Serenity – Codex Atlanticus Review

Serenity – Codex Atlanticus Review

Serenity is an Austrian symphonic power metal that I’ve just recently learned our very own Steel Druhm has been fawning over, thus once again sullying my hard-earned reputation by rubber-stamping anything that reminds him of his wasted youth. In an effort to put a stop to this travesty, I decided to review Codex Antlanticus myself. Having never heard the band—certainly the facts pursuant to Druhm‘s overzealous ratings aren’t necessary in order to feel offended—I immersed myself in Serenity’s 5th full length release bracing only for the worst. Hilarity, as one might expect, ensued.

Varg – Das Ende aller Lügen Review

Varg – Das Ende aller Lügen Review

“The arrival of 2016 finds the tides turning for Varg, now signed to Napalm Records. Das Ende aller Lügen (The End of All Lies) is here and with it Varg presents their latest direction—one encouraging impulsivity, unpredictability, revelry and brute force. All packaged in nice bright red war paint.” Madam X is here to tell you about the creepy German dogs she dragged home. Who’s not interested in that?

Mammoth Storm – Fornjot Review

Mammoth Storm – Fornjot Review

“I learned a major lesson this year writing for Angry Metal Guy Industries Unlimited, Inc.. No, I still keep the toilet seat lid up after I go. Rather, band names are everything. This calendar year alone, I’ve reviewed bands named after long Biblical phrases, Roman numerals, house breaking your dog, and even a band that was one letter away from sending homophobic metalheads running for their nearest vial of eye-bleach. And now? Mammoth Storm from Sweden is here.” A hard rain is gonna fall.

Draconian – Sovran Review

Draconian – Sovran Review

My Dying Bride and Anathema invented what we now think of as the goth-tinged doom/death genre back in the early 90s with their respectively earth-shaking debuts. Though many bands have subsequently tried their hand at the style, few have nailed the original sound and mood as well as Draconian.” Sadness, thy name is Draconian.

W.A.S.P. – Golgotha Review

W.A.S.P. – Golgotha Review

“Blackie Lawless has certainly lived an interesting life. Once the perfect target for those clucking hens in the PMRC, he embodied everything uptight suburban soccer moms hated. He looked like a glam demon, advocated the excessive use of drugs and alcohol, and his sleazy metal band wore oversized codpieces and wrote songs about fucking like a beast (I bet Tipper Gore got a secret thrill from that tune).” Vatican tested, PMRC disapproved (still).

Gloryhammer – Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards Review

Gloryhammer – Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards Review

“I have been accused of being boring and touchy because I dislike parody heavy metal bands. Whenever a band like Steel Panther or The Darkness shows up, I get defensive. “Metal is alive and well,” I argue, and honestly, there are bands that are putting out great power metal and hard rock that gets ignored by mainstream press outlets that rave over parody bands and they sell lots of records. I also tend to get annoyed by comedy lyrics; for the most part those songs are funny once or twice, but after a while they just stop being funny and they become uninteresting because, well, that’s the point. Put this together, and a parody band seems like it should have a lot of strikes against it here at Angry Metal Guy. Not only are Steel Druhm and I firmly anti-fun, but I’m defensive about metal because I don’t want real, talented metal bands getting short shrift next to bands who are just making fun of the sound.” Fun will be had.