“Replace Steel Panther’s cut-rate comedy with a quintet of Torontonians who seem to actually love the ridiculous hard rock of old and, for better or for worse, you end up with Diemonds .” Female fronted cock rock? That seems wrong.
Napalm Records
Ahab – The Boats of the Glen Carrig Review
“Ahab has been the proud flag-bearer for funeral doom during the last ten years, with three full-length releases fleshing out a decade which has seen them achieve great popularity for such a niche genre.” Whales and snails and squids, oh my!
Year of the Goat – The Unspeakable Review
“It wasn’t very long into Year of the Goat’s sophomore effort, The Unspeakable that I was asking myself, “self, is this the second coming of Ghost?” The answer is no, since that happens next month and it’ll be their third coming (or two and a half since I didn’t care much for Infestissumam), but this here platter certainly has a lot of similarities to the goods provided by those mysterious masked ghouls.” Boo!
Powerwolf – Blessed & Possessed Review
“Hot on the lashing tail of the cheesiest of Sharknado films, Powerwolf return with another wolfnado of larger than life proportions. I’m told it’s supposed to be a humdinger, boasting some of the finest power metal, speed, hard rock and unholy orchestra contributions, and Powerwolf kept this firecracker under wraps for near on two years before unleashing it on the unsuspecting public.” Where are you when we need you, Tara Reid?
Unleash the Archers – Time Stands Still Review
“If it was a bunch of one-man black metal bands before, now it’s a bunch of cheez whiz coming Count Grier’s way. Previously it was in the form of the slick The Valiant/Valiant’s/Variant/Variant’s Fire release by Damnation Angels and now it’s Time Stands Still from Canadian-based Unleash the Archers.” Don’t they mean “unleash the arrows”?
My Sleeping Karma – Moksha Review
“It was difficult for me to turn down a promo so intertwined with one of the subjects of my recently-completed dissertation. Aldous Huxley’s migration to Eastern philosophy, influenced by both Taoism and Buddhism, is well documented in his final novel, Island. The inhabitants of the idyllic island practice such spiritual, philosophical models, culminating in the consumption of so-called “Moksha-medicine,” a hallucinogen which permits heightened awareness and understanding. The band which explores similarly Zen and reflective topics is one to catch my eye and I excitedly embarked on this quest for internal liberation. In other words, El Cuervo is ready to get spiritually blotto.
Civil War – Gods and General Review
“Civil War bears an amusingly ironic moniker as they’re made up of four fugitive members of Sabaton who fled the mother ship and essentially created Sabaton’s evil twin band. They even appropriated the exact same sound, song structure and overdone military/battle shtick before launching a struggle for Cheesy War Metal supremacy using their former act’s own sound against them.” War is hell, but people sure love writing songs about it.
Sirenia – The Seventh Life Path Review
“Pizza is a sacred thing. When it’s good, it’s damn good. When it sucks, it’s an affront to humanity. An atrocity on a level with the Biafran revolt, just about every Adam Sandler movie, some genocides, and Illud Divinum Insanus. If you’ve read more than one of my reviews here on AMG you will know that I often equate music to food, not just because it is an analogy I think most people relate to, but I love these two things more than even my family members who aren’t reading this right now. The Seventh Life Path may not be my pie of choice, but during my tenure as a music critic, I’ve heard enough from the formative years on to be able to approach an album with at least relative objectivity.” In food, as in music, too much sugar wrecks the palate.
Coal Chamber – Rivals Review
“Since the dawn of man, humans have tried to prove or disprove the existence of a higher power. Believers have cited the beauty of nature and the intricacy of the human body as evidence, while the skeptics can point to tragedies like cancer-stricken children and the Holocaust to make their case. My personal moment of truth hits a little closer to home: Coal Chamber have reunited, and I am reviewing their new album Rivals. There is definitely no god.” Read along as a crisis of faith afflicts the AMG staff.
Kamelot – Haven Review
“It can be a herculean challenge to replace a vocalist synonymous with the core sound of a band. Judas Priest and Iron Maiden certainly couldn’t do it, but AC/DC and Accept managed it quite nicely. With Haven, album number two with “new” singer Tommy Karevik (Ayreon, Seventh Wonder) replacing Roy Khan, it seems safe to add Kamelot to the latter group.” Ready for some really classy metal? Tuck in your damn shirt!
