“Remember Amaranthe? Say what you want about them as a metal band (which, if you’re being six figure tax return levels of charitable, would be “not so great”), but as a pop band they’re alright. Massive Addictive was catchy, regardless of the fact that it was meticulously crafted by Swedish pop robots, made of 100% candy-coated processed cheese, and equal in substance to a sugar rush. Italy’s Secret Rule is pure processed cheese too.” Cheese and sugar go together like dynamite and napalm.
“Dark Moor has been tilting at windmills a very long time. As one of Spain’s longest-running power metal bands, they’ve had successful early albums like The Hall of the Olden Dreams and The Gates of Oblivion which benefited from crisp writing and the raspy roar of Elisa Martin. When she was replaced by Alfred Romero on the band’s eponymous 2003 album, they lost a bit of what made them stand out.” Grab your tinfoil hat and open your X-File!
“Sadist have been under the weather for quite some time. Once a respectable prog-death act, they did that thing that metal bands did in the ’90s a tad late and released the awful nu-metal Lego in 2000 to critical and fan disgust, after which they took a seven-year break.” Can these grizzled vets redeem themselves after the horrors of the past?
“It’s difficult to shake the feeling that among all of metal’s subgenres, power metal remains the one that refuses to grow up, stuck forever in an adolescent state. Barring a few bands, the power metal scene might as well still be living in the middle of the nineties, when Stratovarius’ Visions had just been released, Nightwish were kind of relevant, and Symphony of Enchanted Lands, by that Italian band that used to be known simply as Rhapsody, lurked around the corner.” Ah, the 90s were the good old days for 80s style power metal.
“Talk about discombobulating! Have you ever wondered what would happen if Spiritual Beggers (specifically the Christian “Spice” Sjöstrand era) came across a Magic 8 Ball, a Time-Out Machine (T.O.M) and a little vial of liquid black rock, and after much consultation with the 8 Ball decided to don their headbands and flared jeans and jump back to the 70s to hang out and jam with Led Zep?” Hot Tub Time Out Machine?
“When I hear someone mention a band with nearly as many active members in its ranks as the starting lineup of a baseball team, I immediately think of that one band from Des Moines (which is, honestly, the worst kind of buzzkill). There is always the risk of biting off more than you can chew when trying to incorporate so many musicians/instruments into an album, not to mention trying to balance everything on the stage.” Celtic themed folk metal from Italy? Now that’s fooking international!
“I’ll admit that I had to Google what a “wind rose” was whilst writing this review. Coming across as a standard-issue unfortunate but flowery power metal name, and I had awful lines like “kiss from a Wind Rose,” “every Wind Rose has it’s thorn,” and all manner of flatulence puns at the ready.” Bad band names don’t guarantee bad music, but c’mon! Nice font though.
“After the medieval dumpster fire that was the last Kaledon album, you’d be justified in asking why your friendly neighborhood Steel Druhm is reviewing their latest platter of hobbit beshirted LARP guild metal. Call me a glutton for punishment, but a certain morbid curiosity drove me to give the promo a spin to see if there was any improvement from last time.” They say morbid curiosity killed the cat, so will Steel pay for his wonderings ways or can this band step up to the big leagues…of orc metal?
“It seems I’m not quite over my hankering for cheese. In simple terms, that means you get to sit through a review of Resurrection, the aptly titled rebirth of Italian band Death SS and their brand of ‘horror music’. Death SS have quite a history, going back to their inception in 1977 with the only constant of the band (outside of the Evil Metal EP) being the odd vocal styling’s of Steve Sylvester. The list of former members is pretty astonishing (upwards of 30 member changes) which probably accounts for why Death SS have done a complete about-turn when comparing Resurrection against its predecessors.” First Powerwolf and now this? Madam X is off the reservation and wandering through Cheese Land and she may never be the same. Ever see KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park? This could be KISS Meets the Madam.
“During my tenure at AMG Industries, I’ve made my opinion on super groups well known. For those who missed that memo (and shame on you), I’ve found that whenever various and sundry artists collaborate on some highfalutin side project, the results are often a mixed bag and prone to being weak and/or tepid. Even worse is when third or fourth tier artists get together to form pseudo-super groups. Angels of Babylon is one such minor league collective, featuring the likes of Kenny “Rhino” Earl (ex-Manowar, ex-Holy Hell), Steve Handel (Seventh Calling, Protest) and Diego Valdez (Skiltron, Helker). If you just thought “Who? Who? What? Who?’, I’m right there with you.” Okay, so we have a third tier project band. That doesn’t mean they can’t write some godly tunes, does it? Pack a lunch as Steel Druhm takes you cherry picking.
