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Mercyless – Pathetic Divinity Review

Mercyless – Pathetic Divinity Review

“First, we have Fronch fries. And Fronch dressing. And Fronch bread. And Fronch death metal. And to drink, ta-da! Peru! As with most bands with old guys like me in them, I have a long history with Mercyless. I received a cassette promo of 1993’s Coloured Funeral right after losing access to a free copy machine that put a nail in the coffin of the print version of Unchain the Underground. While I never got around to reviewing it, that particular slab of adventurous Fronch death metal stayed in regular rotation and made the cut through upgrades to CD right into the digital age.” Mercyless is about to activate your dental plan.

Embalmer – Emanations from the Crypt Review

Embalmer – Emanations from the Crypt Review

“The most lauded element of Ohio gorehounds Embalmer’s past work was the deranged voice of former vocalist Rick Fleming. As cited on their Wikipedia page (clearly written by someone close to if not in the band), “In 2013 the band parted ways with vocalist Rick Fleming, who subsequently robbed the band of the remainder of the band fund before going into hiding.” Under the “Former members” section he is listed as “Dick Fleming.” Not likely a typo. Ahhhh, Wikirevenge!” Wikirevenge is a dish best served with embalming fluid and sauteed tomatoes.

Obake – Mutations Review

Obake – Mutations Review

“Even a quick glance over Obake’s international lineup will tell you that this is not your run-of-the-mill extreme metal band. Nope, the musicians involved in this band are not metal musicians in the traditional sense.” Since we started the day with non-metal weirdness, let’s continue the trend with Obake.

My Brother The Wind – Once There Was A Time When Time And Space Were One Review

My Brother The Wind – Once There Was A Time When Time And Space Were One Review

“Harmony pervades Once There Was A Time When Time And Space Were One. Not in the strictly musical sense, but in its idyllic unity between typically opposed characteristics. Time and space, old and new, science and nature. Sweden’s My Brother The Wind returns on this, their third record, to peacefully entrance and impart their wholly-improvised instrumental Space Rock on the rushed and pressured masses.” God knows we all need a break from the pressures of modern life!

Grumbling Fur – Glynnaestra Review

Grumbling Fur – Glynnaestra Review

‘“Why did you start making music?” I asked, while pretending to sip the amazingly cheap red wine in my half-broken glass, scouting for what was left of my dignity while lying on the cold floor. I don’t think he ever gave me an answer, but there are times when Daniel O’Sullivan does not even bother formulating a reply. He breathed out another puff, I turned my head and gave an intoxicated nod to the ceiling while looking nowhere ahead of me. Grumbling Fur’s music is exactly like that whiff. It is not an answer because nobody has ever posed the right question.” If we ever needed someone to decipher that whiff of smoke, you know we’d call Alex to do so. He speaks smoke and obscurity, after all.

Primitive Man – Scorn Review

Primitive Man – Scorn Review

Oh the pleasure of punishment without guilt, of terror without a motive, of sadistic pain with too much uncontrolled joy and salty drops of unrequited love. Primitive Man call the bluff we all know as life by showing the vulgar side of our existences. Our bodies reek when in fear because the matter doesn’t lie; we do; it doesn’t. If less than 40 minutes of raw, filthy music played without compromises may sound like a sonic déjà-vu, don’t worry: you may be right. Primitive Man’s music is, in fact, an end to itself: an epic journey through punishing dissonances mostly played at an excruciatingly slow tempo. Eyehategod? Maybe. But more than 20 years after an album like In the Name of Suffering graced our ears, the demise of black metal, the growth of drone-based trends and the evolution of what some term ‘extreme music’ all give us an updated version of that masterpiece. It hurt then as it does now and the bleak landscape remains the same. Hate doesn’t evolve; it just gets bigger.” Alex is here to discuss life’s ugliness and pain, glorious pain. Apparantly this album makes him go on like Pinhead in a bondage bar.

Turisas – Turisas2013 Review

Turisas – Turisas2013 Review

We all knew Turisas2013 was going to be a controversial record when the title was released. Turisas2013 doesn’t read like a particularly inspiring name for this Finnish ‘folk metal’ band’s latest record. One commenter quipped that it sounds like what they called the folder where you store the .wav files, not the title of the record itself. On top of that was the remarkably short turnaround time. Turisas isn’t a band known for its quick work, and they were coming off a remarkable and fascinating record from 2011 that I flat out loved. Recent history teaches us that ‘fucking with the formula‘ is generally a bad thing; if a band needs 5 years, give it to them! But just as Orphaned Land faced label pressure, it wouldn’t be a surprise at all if Turisas2013 was produced under pressure from a label that doesn’t want the world to forget that Turisas exists[1. Note: this is entirely speculation. No one told me shit.]. Whatever the reason for looking at a Turisas record in 2013 with the half-baked name of Turisas2013, it’s here… Is it everything you feared?

Shakhtyor – Shakhtyor Review

Shakhtyor – Shakhtyor Review

“In an age where gimmicks run rampant, from Black Veil Brides to Shitfucker (two bands, if you think about it, that are basically brothers from different mothers), it’s refreshing to see a band get noticed merely on the basis of craftsmanship. Shakhtyor are so no-frills it hurts. They’re painfully unmarketable: three German dudes that look like, well, dudes, with an unpronounceable-to-most Russian moniker and a blatant disregard for the value of vocals.” Jordan Campbell weighs in with his first review for Angry Metal Guy — the obscure German sludge act Shakhtyor out in a few days from Metal Blade Records in the US.

Witherscape – The Inheritance Review

Witherscape – The Inheritance Review

“There are few sure things in the world, but there’s one name that screams quality and excellence and that name is Dan Fucking Swanö. From his work on top-notch death metal albums like Edge of Sanity‘s Crimson, his collarboration with Bloodbath, Threshold and Demiurg and his proggy solo albums like Moontower, the man has the midas touch and one of the best death roars of all time. He’s also a producer extraordinaire and perhaps the best at making death metal sound the way it should. Witherscape takes his hefty talents and pairs them with unknown instrumentalist Ragnar Widerberg and the result is a concept album about a gothic insane asylum and evil goings on. Musically, it’s a stunning mash-up of Crimson, Damnation-era Opeth, Omnium Gatherum, Mercyful Fate and even King Crimson.” Steel Druhm has a mancrush on Dan Swanö and you should too, unless you’re a woman. Join him as he explains why Witherscape justifies his love.

Parasite Inc – Time Tears Down Review

Parasite Inc – Time Tears Down Review

“Sheesh the Reaper’s working overtime this year! Every which way you turn there’s another corpse stinking up the joint. German melo death band Parasite Inc captured my eye (or maybe it was my ear) a few weeks back with their video for “The Pulse Of The Dead” off their sophomore release Time Tears Down. The video isn’t particularly flashy, there’s no blood and guts and no fancy scene set or story being told. Basically it’s just four musicians against a pretty stark background furiously slaughtering their instruments, catchy melodies challenging heavy grooves, creating no holds barred, modern, melodic death magic.” Melo death seems to be making a comeback in 2013 and Madam X is here to tell you if Parasite Inc. can help the revival.