Tad Morose – Revenant Review

Tad Morose – Revenant Review

“Whenever a beloved band implodes and goes into a ten-year hiatus, you’re more than justified in viewing a comeback with a jaundiced eye. After all, times change, people change, that “special something” a band had slowly fades away from lack of use. Basically, everything falls apart and the center cannot hold. Oh and hey, Tad Morose, the once great Swedish heavy metal act is back after a ten-year lay off. What a coincidence!” Follow along as Steel Druhm reviews Revenant and learns that nostalgia is a double-edged sword with poison ivy oil on the blade. Owwww, itchy slice, itchy slice!!!

Coven 13 – Destiny of the Gods Review

Coven 13 – Destiny of the Gods Review

“Nostalgia. Unfinished business. Hearing your work translated by younger, more established bands. There are many, many reasons for long-dormant groups to give it a second go-around. Detroit’s doom metallers Coven had only one album, 1987’s Worship New Gods, before changing their name to Coven 13 and calling it a day in 1991. Twenty years later, the original members decided to give it the ol’ college try, regrouped with an extra guitarist, and put together their first album in 26 years, Destiny of the Gods.” Ya gotta love long delayed reunions by super marginal acts who made virtually no impression in their heyday. What? You DON’T have to love that? My bad….

Leaves’ Eyes – Symphonies of the Night Review

Leaves’ Eyes – Symphonies of the Night Review

“In 2009 I received a promo for Liv Kristine’s ‘new’ band Leaves’ Eyes and I was curious. The record was called Njord and as a fan of Liv’s voice and epic symphonic metal I figured for sure that I would be in for a treat. I was wrong. I was so very, very wrong. My complaints about the album were many—but a lot of it had to do with the fact that it was so compressed that it never felt heavy and the song-writing was just plain mediocre. Meredead, which followed two years later on schedule, was also a miserable record. The folky stuff was of the “let’s throw in a flute, hooray folk metal!” genre and I simply didn’t even have the patience to finish reviewing it. But because I am a masochist (and I’ve always liked Liv’s voice ffs!), I broke out Symphony of the Night when it arrived in my box.” Always a sucker for a lady with a pretty voice, Angry Metal Guy gave the new Leaves’ Eyes a chance. Is this turning into Charlie Brown, Lucy and the football?

Falkenbach – Asa Review

Falkenbach – Asa Review

“There’s music meant for a summer drive with the top down (old Van Halen), hitting the weights hard (Slayer, Pantera) and a night of hard-drinking in sketchy beer mills (Fireball Ministry, Orange Goblin). Likewise, the new slice of folksy Viking metal from Falkenbach proves perfect for chopping wood in the brisk Fall air. While I recognize “wood chopping” or “lumberjack” metal is an under-served medium, I feel confident saying this is the finest chopper album I’ve heard all year.” Grab thine axe as Steel Druhm weaves his tales of Viking rage and folksy tomfoolery.

Shitfucker – Suck Cocks In Hell Review

Shitfucker – Suck Cocks In Hell Review

“On the surface, there’s a lot to hate about Shitfucker. The hacky, try hard Vice interview that introduced them to the world didn’t do them any favors. Neither did their stylized swastika logo, nor the fact that their moniker is reminiscent of the nickname I gave to my third grade bus driver. Combine these elements with the comically lo-fi crap-stomp of lead single “Sex Dungeon,” and this band was easy to hate: A group of low-talent, low-class scum-fucks looking to capitalize on a strange metallic affinity for sleaze that rarely reconciles with the listener’s world view. Red flags were everywhere. I mean, how could an album called Suck Cocks In Hell be construed as anything other than cheap gimmickry?” How indeed?? Watch as Jordan Campbell somehow makes sense of this senseless abomination.

Strangelight – 9 Days EP Review

Strangelight – 9 Days EP Review

““Anyone with a deep record collection will understand that Strangelight aren’t trying to reinvent the wheel, just taking the dust jackets off the old classics and melting the vinyl down for fun.” This, together with the name Fugazi, pretty much sums up the review of this EP. The rest of this page could be used to appeal for donations to the Flying Spaghetti Monster movement and nobody would complain. Any other lost cause worth campaigning for? But we’re good people and we can’t help but say a few other things. Like, for instance, that when you mention Ian MacKaye and Guy Picciotto’s band, you are implicitly referring to that musical trend which, from the late 1980s onwards, literally changed the way we see, consider and think about indie music. Thus, providing the listener not only with the musical attributes, but also with the exact artistic context is a mistake, because disappointment is always behind the corner and it will stitch you up at the first occasion. But Strangelight are a bunch of confident people.” Alex breaks down where this “super group” slots into the musical neighborhood and how their arrival raises or lowers property values therein. It’s all about location, people!

Angry Metal Guy and ‘Ripper’ Owens Are… Beefin’?

Angry Metal Guy and ‘Ripper’ Owens Are… Beefin’?

Yesterday, I discovered that I’m on Twitter. And so I took to Twitter and made some pretty lame updates, as I’m wont to do. I tweeted YouTube videos that I think are better than the new Ihsahn record (Helloween’s “Mr. Torture,” Dr. Dre’s “Deeeez Nuts,” and Meat Loaf’s epic “Objects in the Rearview Mirror May Appear Closer than They Are“). Then I started listening to Iced Earth.

Ihsahn – Das Seelenbrechen Review

Ihsahn – Das Seelenbrechen Review

Ihsahn records used to get a breathless introduction about how incredible the former Emperor frontman’s solo career was. While this might still be true for some breathless fans, it is not the case for me. While I am still a huge fan of The Adversary and angL, both Eremita and its predecessor After left me cold.” Das seelenbrechen is Ihsahn’s newest crack at a solo record. Will it leave this Angry Metal Guy as cold as the man’s last two records?

Zemial – Nykta Review

Zemial – Nykta Review

“Papa Grymm once told me, when I was just a wee little kvlt tyke, “Son, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. Also, clean your room. You’re an embarrassment to the Inner Circle.” Archon Vorskaath, mastermind behind the amorphous Greco-German black metal machine Zemial, is the posterchild of the DIY ethos, recording and performing all vocals, instruments, and sound effects, as well as releasing 2006’s In Monumentum, all by his own not-so-little lonesome over the last 20 plus-years, spawning two albums and handful of EPs. Vorskaath’s visionary trek continues with Nykta, Zemial’s third full-length and first for Hells Headbangers Records.” Ah, Greek black metal. So Spartan, so evil. It certainly seems to take Grymm back to his kvlt childhood.

Monolithe – Monolithe IV Review

Monolithe – Monolithe IV Review

“Considering the mighty seven year gap between Monolithe II and Monolithe III, it certainly comes as a surprise that this album arrived so soon, barely a year after III. Naturally, a four-part album series of crushing, spacey funeral doom, each with tracks spanning nearly an hour is as difficult a pill to swallow as one will find in this or any genre, but Monolithe have proven over the years they know exactly what they’re doing.” Our man Noctus seriously wet himself over the last album from these French doom-mongers. This time we outfitted him with young adult diapers and plastic wrapped his desk area. We learn from our mistakes….