A new Black Sabbath record!? That’s pretty epic. And it calls for an epic response. So here we present for you the first ever triple review here at Angry Metal Guy. First up: Angry Metal Guy; then Steel Druhm; and Mr. Fisting Himself weighs in with a third opinion. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll probably find a reason to complain or a spelling error. Break out the flamethrowers, it’s reviewing time!
“As the only blackened thrash band willing to sing about fishing and fish generally, Kalmah always had a special place in my outdoorsy heart. I mean, who else can make simple tales of man vs. fish seem so epic and life threatening? I was impressed by their first four outings (with Swampsong being my favorite), but I felt really let down by their For the Revolution opus, which felt quite tedious. While things kicked back up for the enjoyable and energetic 12 Gauge, it still felt like a band entering the “spinning the wheels” period of their career. Thankfully, Seventh Swamphony sees these psychotic fishermen make a triumphant return to the off-the-rails, blackened thrash of old which straddles the line between the melodic tomfoolery of Children of Bodom and more extreme, cvlt black/death acts.” Do you like blackended catfish metal like Steel Druhm does? If so, you best don the hip waders and read all about the return of the swamp lords.
‘For Angry Metal regulars, Norway’s Jorn Lande needs NO introduction! This leaves me in a quandary… I need an opening paragraph so you get a repeat of what you already know. As Lord Steel Druhm has already mentioned in his review of Bring Heavy Rock To The Land, Lande has a massive career spanning across solo, group and collaborative projects Ark, Masterplan, Beyond Twilight, Avantasia and Allen/Lande that easily makes him one of the most recognized voices in the industry. Well surprise, surprise, hot on the heels of Symphonic, Lande adds another notch to his well-worn belt with the much anticipated all original release of Traveller.” Well, it looks like the days of Madam X’s unabashed Jorn worship have finally reached a middle. Does that mean you must bring your own heavy rock to the land (BYOHRTL)? Read and find out!
“Neither rain, nor snow nor soccer riots can keep the Rogga Johansson express from it’s appointed rounds through the Swedish death metal landscape. This is the fourth album I’ve reviewed in 2013 that had his bloody prints all over it (Megascavenger, Just Before Dawn, Paganizer) and he’s in countless other projects as well (Demiurg, Ribspreader, etc. etc. to infinity and beyond). As I study the endless tide of Rogga works, I’m left to marvel at both his inhuman productivity and the overall quality of the material he creates. Johansson & Speckmann is his new collaboration with the legendary Paul Speckmann of long running, seminal death act Master. With such a titanic union, one obviously expects great stuff (and shitty, DIY album art) and since between them they cover the spectrum from Swedish to American death, the possibilities seem limitless (well, except by the parameters of death metal).” Have you felt like it’s been too long since a new Rogga release cropped up? Me too!
“Shining are a black metal band from Sweden with a very dystopian, hateful and depressive tinge to their music and a long history of albums and exploits to their name – such as violent live shows and staging the death of their vocalist. Hell, the vocalist even has a book to his name with the title “When Prozac No Longer Helps”, which speaks volumes of what to expect in the pages. So when you look at the title and album art of this album you might consider One One One somewhat of a surprise or a departure.” Noctus likes avant-garde stuff, so when Shining came along with a new album of jazzy weirdness, he was clearly the man for the job.
“More goth-metal from Napalm Records? Sure, I think we all need a break from the endless waves of retro-death, retro-thrash and black metal (which is by definition retro). Lacrimas Profundere has been around forever and over the past five or six albums, they’ve settled into a comfort zone of glum, goth-rock in the same vein as Entwine, H.I.M., To Die For and naturally they include plenty of nods to The Cure and The Cult. While one can hammer them for essentially releasing Ave End over and over again, their knack for keeping things catchy and lively continue to draw me back time after time. While I think their Filthy Notes For Frozen Hearts was their best release in this cycle, I was more than pleased with 2010s The Grandiose Nowhere and still spin it pretty often when that urge to be morose hits me.” Steel Druhm is on a goth-metal kick, so you all must deal with it and play along until we go back to death metal 24/7.
“It’s unusual to see a Southern metal band opting for comic-style album artwork, one typically expects to see John Baizley’s surreal, exotic and naked-women-filled art gracing the cover. However, the music on this record is anything but comical; this Arkansas sextet means (retro) business.” Happy Metal Guy talks on the merits of prescription drugs, dope, sludge and rehab and he manages to fit in a review of Iron Tongue’s The Dogs Have Barked, The Birds Have Flown!
“Whoa! Steel Druhm did not expect this thing to kick anywhere near as much ass as it does. In fact, this is an insidious ass-kicking machine, free from the lab and turned loose on mankind with naught but ill intent. The author of this wanton hiney massacre is one Joel Grind, the force behind the old school, retro thrash band Toxic Holocaust. Between albums he apparently felt the burning need to craft this hugely lethal collection of thrash anthems under this eponymous project name.” Imagine if old Bathory got humped by Motorhead and Slayer and you would have a good idea what this goat sounds like. BAAAAH!
“Once upon a time, doom metal made up a fairly large portion of my musical playlist. Classic bands like Trouble, Saint Vitus, and The Obsessed were on heavy rotation in the Golota household. Sadly, my interest never progressed far beyond those founding bands. Doom metal predictably splintered into a billion subgenres, with each band competing to see who can play slower and/or smoke more pot (ooh, how rebellious!), which is how we ended up with boring, pretentious shit like Sunn O))) and Earth. To say I have not enjoyed any recent doom metal would be a massive understatement. Enter Demon Lung, and their new record The Hundredth Name”. Is Demon Lung the light at the end of a very dark and doomy, pot hazy tunnel for Fisting Andrew Golota? Read on and find out!
“I wouldn’t blame you for having the thought in the back of your mind for giving Slidhr’s album a miss based solely on the fact black metal has become rather over-saturated with copycats and generally uninteresting bands. I hear the pitchforks raising already so allow me to stress that I adore black metal, it being one of my favoured subgenres of extreme metal, but I really have fallen out of touch with recent acts over the last five years.” I for one, support the pitchforks coming out and the forming of angry blackened mobs…after you read what Noctus has to say about Slidhr.
