“I know that ectoplasm is an actual thing. Wikipedia tells me it’s ‘the more viscous, clear outer layer of the cytoplasm in amoeboid cells.’ But it also has its paranormal applications: that which is left behind by ghouls and ghosts and has been utilized by classic comedy (‘He slimed me’). Unfortunately for Poland’s Suffer Yourself, it’s this latter use to which I default.” Gunk in the trunk.
“No, Kronos hasn’t died. But yes, this is a Unique Leader record which he isn’t reviewing. Rather than his cold, dead hands, I obtained it via the surprisingly bureaucratic AMG promo distribution system instituted this year by our Weberian overlords. A quick glance at the Unique Leader roster will leave you entirely unsurprised by the record in question: Suffer by Lord of War, a US-based death metal troupe.” Enter the Iron Cage of rational thought!
In a very special Yer Metal Is Olde, Grymm explores the beautiful, unique Mandylion by The Gathering. This induction into the Yer Metal Is Olde Hall of Fame is particularly special and particularly personal.
“The lines are so blurred now. To a large extent, gone are the days when you could look at the geographical location of a band and know exactly what they had in store for you. Nobody made the death of the old order clearer to me than an obscure band operating out of the rural mining areas of Bergslagen, Sweden going under the chic moniker of Murg.” I hate those blurred lines….
“When it comes to selecting albums to review, I rely on a tried-and-mostly-tr00 method of meticulous selection that’s been proven to garner conversations around water bubblers and soda machines the world over: I sometimes randomly just pick shit from a list and think, “Okay, that’s cool. Let’s give that a shot.” Behold, today’s selection is Iceland’s Dynfari.” In the game of chance, you win some and you lose some. Are the odds in Grymm’s favor this time around?
“Just about every day, Angry Metal Guy pushes out a review of an upcoming or recently released album, producing press for the album whether we love it or hate it. It exposes readers to a lot of material, but disadvantages artists who aren’t putting out music at any given time. Given a small temporal window, this creates a very biased sample of the music scene. I love reviewing albums, but a lot of great and criminally overlooked bands are in between releases right now, and it kills me to see their hard work go unseen. So in order to rectify their invisibility, they’re being talked about here, where you can be held captive by the unbreakable bonds of html and subjugated to my terrible opinions.” Next stop, Europe!
“For a Ukrainian black metal band writing in their native tongue, deriving their name and lyrical themes from distant mountains and rivers of which I’m unaware, Stryvigor is remarkably accessible. Forgotten by Ages, their debut album, is atmospheric black metal laced with memorable riffs, clearly influenced by fellow compatriots such as Drudkh and Khors. It’s like being set upon by distant mountain wolves while the stars twinkle overhead. Though its accessibility undercuts its kvlt black metal origins, there is no denying these Ukrainians charmed me with this ode to their native Carpathian mountains, brimming with beautiful synths and hooky guitar lines.” Who doesn’t love some good Ukrainian black metal about mountains and wolves?
“Ótta consists of 8 tracks, beginning with a representation of midnight, moving through each Eyktir in the day, coming to a steady close at what would be representative of between 9 pm and midnight. Hardly a riveting concept I grant you, but thought provoking nonetheless.” Usually it takes lots of SepticFlesh and blood to make Madam X swoon, but Sólstafir’s blend of heathenish melodic, melancholic post-metal and bizarre alternative rock seems to have done the trick in a big way!
“My favorite Greek giants of atmospheric, Rotting Christ flavored symphonic death metal are back, and right on schedule with the delivery of their latest force of nature. And to add to my fangirlism, the album’s fittingly titled after the most ancient of all the gods – yes you read right, TITAN! Does it get any bigger, heavier or more metal than that?” Was the kraken a titan? He was pretty freaking big.
“Music that takes you places in your mind is a queer phenomenon. How the hell did the mind associate certain patterns of molecular vibrations in the air with such far-flung imagery as the cold depths of interstellar space and impossibly colorful dreamscapes in the first place anyway? To answer my own question because I’m solipsistic like that: unicorns. Also: invisible fairies sitting on your shoulders that are hosing liquid fairy dust into your ears. And oh, don’t forget about those psychic ants chewing and burrowing into your brain’s numerous ridges.” The staff at AMG apologies in advance for the cutesy-tootsy nature of this here review. We’ve tried nothing with Happy Metal Guy and nothing hasn’t worked. Anywho, read all about the unicorns and blackened doom from Finland.
