It isn’t everyday that a member of the AMG family releases an album, so when it happens you should probably check it out and be supportive, you thankless bastards.
Black Metal
Midnight Odyssey – Shards of Silver Fade Review
“Ok, be honest. If I told you today’s review was for a double album that clocked in at nearly 160 minutes and consisted of atmospheric blackened doom metal, what would you say? Well, if you’ve heard of Midnight Odyssey, my guess is that you would either say, “No shit, it’s out?” or “Fuck, not them again…” If you don’t know of the band you might say, “Oh wow, I gots to hear me some of that” or “fuck that dribble.” Honesty from Honest Abe Grier, my initial thought veered to the latterest of the latters.” Have two hours to spare? Sure you do.
Dr. Fisting Comments: on Body Count Songs About Body Count
“Throughout metal’s history, bands have occasionally written songs named after themselves. Motorhead has one. Iron Maiden has one. Black Sabbath has one and a half. But only one group has had the nerve to compose five songs about themselves, and obviously that would be AMG house band, Body Count.” A body by any other name would smell as…sweet?
Possession – 1585-1646 Review
“It’s no big revelation to state that music doesn’t exist in a vacuum, so in the spirit of spicing things up and non-sequitur literary devices, let’s talk hamburgers.” Hope you like yours dead, blackened and from the 80s or you’re going to leave hungry.
Ered – Night of Eternal Doom Review
“TV Tropes is a website that talks about tropes, idioms, and cliches in various forms of media. Whether it’s television, movies, or even video games, the website does an incredible job of educating would-be writers as to what pitfalls to avoid or what “crazy plot twists” have been done to beyond death. It makes one wonder if there’s such a thing for black metal and its various offshoots.” And there isnt, so we at AMG must act as the Anti-Trope Troopers.
Gorgoroth – Instinctus Bestialis Review
“Watching Gorgoroth grow up is like watching your dipshit nephew grow up. Getting busted for stealing Bazooka bubblegum as a child, knocking up his high-school girlfriend, marrying her, divorcing her, running out on his kid, and then fighting his ex for full custody of a child he hates. The biggest difference between the trials and tribulations faced by Gorgoroth and your asshole nephew is that Gorgoroth’s are worse.” Those wacky Satanists….
Shining – IX: Everyone, Everything, Everywhere, Ends
“As child of the ’80s, and metal fan of the mid-to-late ’90s, Sweden was a signpost that meant “great metal.” Sweden was a magical haven of everything my neighborhood wasn’t: filled to the brim with amazing bands. Ironically, by the time I moved to Sweden, the things that were left over were the things I liked the least….” That doesn’t sound like a promising start to a review.
Ebonillumini – Arktos Review
“Rather than a true sub-genre, “avant-garde” seems more a default category for bands who can’t be pigeonholed with a nice, tidy tag. With a name like Ebonillumini it’s almost a given this is a band worthy of the avant-garde label. Less obvious is that they’re far removed from anything like an Arcturus style of forward-thinking, unconventional metal.” Icebergs ahead!
Amestigon – Thier Review
“Near the end of Disney’s Ratatouille there’s a climactic scene during which the harsh, scrupulous restaurant critic Anton Ego (personality modelled, clearly, after AMG’s staff) savours the best ratatouille he’s ever had. Overwhelmed by the tastes and flavors that transport him back to his childhood, he’s left altogether dumbfounded with his usual negativity utterly dismantled. In a way, that’s the effect Amestigon’s Their had on me.” Did he just compare us all to a rat?
Ashbringer – Vacant Review
“When one thinks of one-man black metal projects, one immed… WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING!??!?!? NO, COME BACK HERE!!! WHY ARE YOU LEAVING? Yes, I know, another one-man black metal band. But this one is different, I swear! Come back… it’s okay… I love you.” It’s time for more basement metal. You love basement metal.
