Gloryhammer

Winterage – The Inheritance of Beauty Review

Winterage – The Inheritance of Beauty Review

“You know when you lose a bet and find yourself wearing a Red Sox jersey and forced to eat a hundred cocktail weenies until you purge yourself in the tub? Well, that’s nothing compared to the Paw of Steel punishment for picking on Kenny. Ken told me it was corset-core. Cool, I like corsets. There may or may not have been the mention of Nightwish, but I cataloged that as trollarchy. So, I took the punishment and rolled with it. Well, you know those times when a movie character comes to a dramatic realization? When the camera zooms in, and they look up at nothing and whisper, “Dear GOD”?” Cheesy justice.

Skeletoon – Nemesis Review

Skeletoon – Nemesis Review

“I didn’t have a choice about this one. Regular readers will recall my central role in the Skelator Incident, so it should come as no surprise that Steel Druhm took one look at band called “Skeletoon” and their self-proclaimed “nerd metal” and immediately assigned it to me. He announced his excitement for me to review these goofy guys on one of our AMG Staff Zoom chats, and since it went so well last time he did that, I was more than a little apprehensive.” The Toonies.

Gomorra – Divine Judgement Review

Gomorra – Divine Judgement Review

“At last week’s regular AMG staff shaming re-education session, TheKenWord and I stood in the center of the writers’ circle and explained that our problem with thrash, despite all the riffage, had always been the vocals. Our Steely overseer prescribed a crash course in early Destruction, with the more unusual vocal delivery of Marcel Schirmer, aka Schmier. Having taken my medicine—and enjoyed both Infernal Overkill and Eternal Devastation, it should be said—I was stoked to find that the thrash promo I’d picked up on a whim actually included at least one member of Destruction.” A scorching case of Gomorra.

Brothers of Metal – Emblas Saga Review

Brothers of Metal – Emblas Saga Review

Truth be told, there’s a decent chance that I wouldn’t be here writing within these hallowed halls without Brothers of Metal. You see, back in 2017 I was a mere lurker at AMG, and might have been content to continue in that capacity if I hadn’t seen a commenter recommending Prophecy of Ragnarök, the debut from the aforementioned Swedes. I checked it out and fell so hard for its sometimes hilarious, sometimes deadly serious take on Norse-mythologized folky power metal that I felt compelled to create a Disqus account just so I could express my thanks to the recommender.” Brother hugger.

Magic Kingdom – MetAlmighty Review

Magic Kingdom – MetAlmighty Review

“Having never heard of Magic Kingdom prior to this review, I was surprised to find out that the band’s existence dates back to 1998 and to find out that Mr. Lance King himself had at one point been involved with the band according to Metal Archives. MetAlmighty finds the band slinging power metal tunes that should satisfy fans of bands like Theocracy, Gloryhammer, and the various incarnations of Rhapsody.” Magic, monsters, and monarchs.

Bones – Diseased Review

Bones – Diseased Review

“Everybody knows a local band like Chicago’s Bones. If you attend small scale metal shows in your vicinity with any sort of regularity, you know them well: a groove oriented death metal band, often fresh off work, that seems to open every show regardless of whether they fit the bill. This results in often hilarious pairings, including my recent bewilderment at Kansas City’s death/doomsters Pulchra Morte opening for Gloryhammer of all bands. Bones is the very embodiment of that same working class energy, but as they fall under the eclectic umbrella of Transcending Obscurity, curveballs are to be expected.” Boning it in.

Gloryhammer – Legends From Beyond the Galactic Terrorvortex Review

Gloryhammer – Legends From Beyond the Galactic Terrorvortex Review

“If you missed the tongue-bathing AMG gave their last album, Gloryhammer are one of the best active Rhapsody-style epic power metal bands, and also a loving, self-aware parody of same. They’re founded first on quality and second on overly-amped up tropes—D-tier speculative fiction plot, non-native English speaker lyrics, etc.—to the precise point where they become obviously funny. It’s not so overdone that it becomes tiresome, and it works because of the attention to detail and cohesiveness of the whole: take a couple of elements away and you might wonder whether they were actually serious all along.” Get hammered.