“Hello, reader—can I call you reader? Let’s be honest with each other. You know exactly what to expect here. You know what kind of music this is; you know what this review is going to say; you do not need to skip to the end to know what score is coming. Even if you don’t know that the former vocalist for Gloryhammer Thomas Winkler has, since his dramatic departure from the group, started up anew with a Europe-spanning band called Angus McSix, even if you didn’t know that Gloryhammer and Winkler are well-known for their cheesy, over-the-top tales of fantasy, even if you haven’t glanced down and noticed that the preview song on Bandcamp for Angus McSix and the Sword of Power is called “Laser-Shooting Dinosaur,” you know.” Six appeal.
Gloryhammer
TheKenWord’s and Carcharodon’s Top Ten(ish) of 2021
TheKenWord and Carcharodon assembled these Top Ten(ish) lists and apparently they stand by them. You can judge if that is the right decision.
Winterage – The Inheritance of Beauty Review
“You know when you lose a bet and find yourself wearing a Red Sox jersey and forced to eat a hundred cocktail weenies until you purge yourself in the tub? Well, that’s nothing compared to the Paw of Steel punishment for picking on Kenny. Ken told me it was corset-core. Cool, I like corsets. There may or may not have been the mention of Nightwish, but I cataloged that as trollarchy. So, I took the punishment and rolled with it. Well, you know those times when a movie character comes to a dramatic realization? When the camera zooms in, and they look up at nothing and whisper, “Dear GOD”?” Cheesy justice.
Skeletoon – Nemesis Review
“I didn’t have a choice about this one. Regular readers will recall my central role in the Skelator Incident, so it should come as no surprise that Steel Druhm took one look at band called “Skeletoon” and their self-proclaimed “nerd metal” and immediately assigned it to me. He announced his excitement for me to review these goofy guys on one of our AMG Staff Zoom chats, and since it went so well last time he did that, I was more than a little apprehensive.” The Toonies.
Season of Dreams – My Shelter Review
“If you build it, they will come. Oh wait. That’s Field of Dreams. Either way, that was really the intent that Season of Dreams founder Jean-Michel Volz had for his new project. The Frenchman wanted to take his compositional experience and use it to form a band that channeled the greatest aspects from both heavy and power metals.” Bombed shelter.
Gomorra – Divine Judgement Review
“At last week’s regular AMG staff shaming re-education session, TheKenWord and I stood in the center of the writers’ circle and explained that our problem with thrash, despite all the riffage, had always been the vocals. Our Steely overseer prescribed a crash course in early Destruction, with the more unusual vocal delivery of Marcel Schirmer, aka Schmier. Having taken my medicine—and enjoyed both Infernal Overkill and Eternal Devastation, it should be said—I was stoked to find that the thrash promo I’d picked up on a whim actually included at least one member of Destruction.” A scorching case of Gomorra.
Brothers of Metal – Emblas Saga Review
Truth be told, there’s a decent chance that I wouldn’t be here writing within these hallowed halls without Brothers of Metal. You see, back in 2017 I was a mere lurker at AMG, and might have been content to continue in that capacity if I hadn’t seen a commenter recommending Prophecy of Ragnarök, the debut from the aforementioned Swedes. I checked it out and fell so hard for its sometimes hilarious, sometimes deadly serious take on Norse-mythologized folky power metal that I felt compelled to create a Disqus account just so I could express my thanks to the recommender.” Brother hugger.
Huck N’ Roll’s and Eldritch Elitist’s Top Ten(ish) of 2019
Huck N’ Roll and Eldritch Elitist weigh in with their own Top Ten(ish) of 2019 lists, and they have a lot to say.
Holdeneye’s and Cherd of Doom’s Top Ten(ish) of 2019
Once they were n00bs, but now they get their own Top Ten(ish) of 2019 lists. They grow up so fast!.
Magic Kingdom – MetAlmighty Review
“Having never heard of Magic Kingdom prior to this review, I was surprised to find out that the band’s existence dates back to 1998 and to find out that Mr. Lance King himself had at one point been involved with the band according to Metal Archives. MetAlmighty finds the band slinging power metal tunes that should satisfy fans of bands like Theocracy, Gloryhammer, and the various incarnations of Rhapsody.” Magic, monsters, and monarchs.