Korpiklaani

Cathubodua – Continuum Review

Cathubodua – Continuum Review

“Fucking fuck you fucking all, you fuck fucking fucks. I absolutely fucking hate everyone right now and I blame each and every one of you miserable shits. I suppose I could blame Steel, him having personally assigned me to the nightmare which I must shortly relive, but I blame you. You, ‘dear’ ‘read’-er, are why we do the over worded and under think-ed things that we do, and to the best of my knowledge I have never hurt any of you enough to owe anyone the undertaking that was Continuum, an album I’ll be dedicating my life and liver to erasing the memory of.” Powers.

Trollfest – Norwegian Fairytales Review

Trollfest – Norwegian Fairytales Review

“We’ve all heard heavy metal criticized for taking itself too seriously or, even more common, being so angry! I enjoy music that tackles tough topics like war, death, history and literature as much as the next angry metal guy, but sometimes it’s important to shake things up and take the piss. Behold Trollfest, a Balkan-folk inspired metal band known for their made-up troll language (a combination of German and Norwegian) who are about to drop their eighth full-length album, Norwegian Fairytales, on NoiseArt Records. They’re a metal band at heart, but if these nutcases are ever accused of taking anything too seriously or being too angry, I’ll eat my lederhosen.” Huh, apparently this n00b owns Lederhosen. Now we ALL know!

Harakiri for the Sky – Arson Review

Harakiri for the Sky – Arson Review

“If there’s a more promising band out there than Harakiri for the Sky, I don’t know of them. Formed in 2011, this Austrian duo first came to my attention with 2014’s Aokigahara, whose crisp, riffy take on post-black metal was a welcome change from the Alcesty haziness overflowing the genre. My love affair continued with 2016’s III: Trauma, a terrific album that narrowly missed a spot on my year-end list with its lush, gorgeous melodies. Since then Harakiri’s gifted songwriting and unique style have built a rabid fanbase (including both myself and Master of Muppets), making Arson one of my most anticipated records of the year.” Ooooo… the suspense! So much filthy click-bait. I wonder how this is going to end…

Atlas Pain – What the Oak Left Review

Atlas Pain – What the Oak Left Review

“I like folk metal. It’s best when it takes the form of black metal infused with instrumentation and arrangements native to its respective country. Saor, Panopticon, and Nechochwen are truly great examples of this. The upbeat frolics of Finntroll, Korpiklaani, and their ilk are not merely average by comparison but actively annoying. I find their attempts at inducing happiness grating and vapid. There are logically two conclusions which I would likely reach following my random selection of Atlas Pain‘s What the Oak Left: delight or irritation.” Not liking Korpiklaani is like hating dogs.

Vorgrum – Last Domain Review

Vorgrum – Last Domain Review

“Somewhere along my personal timeline of listening to extreme music I formed an imaginary line dividing two equally valid camps of folk metal. On one side, you have your bands of brooding boys who like to pose next to frozen streams for their promo shots in between discussions of just how great Windir was; on the other, you have your gangs of drunken revelers, crowding into the nearest tavern to relate raucous tales of wenches and trolls to any half-willing passersby.” Is that a troll on the cover or are you just happy to see me?

Jonne – Jonne Review

Jonne – Jonne Review

“I’m aware many readers think I pick promos to review based solely on the presence or absence of a sword wielding barbarian on the cover. I can certainly see the reasoning behind that school of thought, but you’ll note there is no such angry warrior here, only a solitary dude in feathers and native garb. That dude is none other than Jonne Javela, vocalist and guitarist of Finnish folk-metal pioneers, Korpiklaani, and Jonne is his new solo album.” Finland’s woodland spirits are loose and feeling frisky.

Korpiklaani – Noita Review

Korpiklaani – Noita Review

“As spring finally gives way to summer, it’s the perfect time to receive the latest dose of folksy hijinks and madcappery from the festive Finnish institution known as Korpiklaani. Noita is yet another chipper, high spirited outing by these drunken woodsmen, offering nothing new while clinging tenaciously to the buttocks of the last several albums.” The dancing forest rangers are back to play you the song of their people and drink you under the oaken table.