“Amberian Dawn are a Finnish neoclassical power metal stalwart that has been around for almost a decade, always lurking somewhere on the outskirts of mainstream popularity, but never quite reaching the status of bands such as Nightwish or Epica.” Enough of this kvlt crap, let’s fire up the pop-porn!
“Once a writer has reviewed a band, it’s standard practice for them to review any subsequent records that band releases. Unless, of course, AMG wrote the original review and is too busy masturbating over old Iron Maiden records to critique new music. As you will have noticed, this scenario arose just the other week, and that’s why it’s fallen to me to review Leaves’ Eyes’ latest platter.” We have a system and you’re gonna use it!
“It’s difficult to shake the feeling that among all of metal’s subgenres, power metal remains the one that refuses to grow up, stuck forever in an adolescent state. Barring a few bands, the power metal scene might as well still be living in the middle of the nineties, when Stratovarius’ Visions had just been released, Nightwish were kind of relevant, and Symphony of Enchanted Lands, by that Italian band that used to be known simply as Rhapsody, lurked around the corner.” Ah, the 90s were the good old days for 80s style power metal.
“Ever since I first rode side-by-side with Tom Englund above the crowd of an old Cajun-themed bar in Scottsdale, Arizona, I’ve been one of the biggest Evergrey fanboys ever. I’ve followed along for years as they powered their way through thick and (sadly) thin. Though I was ecstatic about the return of a couple significant members, I was a little let done by Hymns for the Broken.” Could it be that the good Doctor found a generic Evergrey substitute on the market.
“Do a quick Google (or should I say YouTube) search of vocalist PelleK. If you are not familiar with this name, you will discover that he loves selfies, modeled shots, filming himself singing other people’s shit, and acting in Norwegian TV shows. Though his solo work in Pellek is enough to make me wanna set myself on fire (which includes sixteen cover albums of EVERYTHING from Pokemon and Power Rangers themes to ’90s sitcom themes), his four-octave range is simply incredible. So, were Damnation Angels damnable fools for snatching him up for 2013’s Bringer of Light and 2015’s The Valiant Fire?” You know you want to hear those Pokémon themes.
“It is written that man greatly displeased his finicky but beneficent Creator, and thus did God come to curse Mankind with various and sundry plagues of pestilence, locusts, skinny jeans and metal super groups. Over time some of these curses have proven more tolerable than others, but I’ll take a good locust swarm over the typical half-baked, so-called super group.” Super groups may annoy, but Cain is certainly able.
“Here we have another project band from Frontiers Records which appears to be trying to duplicate the success of the Russell Allen and Jorn Lande pairings. Like those albums, the music here is written by Magnus Karlsson, this time with the help of his Primal Fear band mate, Mat Sinner, and as usual, it walks the line between melodic power metal and radio-ready hard rock. Essentially, this is Allen/Lande with Michael Kiske and Amada Somerville standing in. How you feel about that will depend on the extent of your love for the former Helloween golden boy and the erstwhile queen of symphonic metal backing vocals (Avantasia, Aina, et al).” Do you need to take things down a notch and relax? This might help.
“When I hear someone mention a band with nearly as many active members in its ranks as the starting lineup of a baseball team, I immediately think of that one band from Des Moines (which is, honestly, the worst kind of buzzkill). There is always the risk of biting off more than you can chew when trying to incorporate so many musicians/instruments into an album, not to mention trying to balance everything on the stage.” Celtic themed folk metal from Italy? Now that’s fooking international!
“When I picked up the debut album of Serious Black for review, I knew nothing about this band. What I did know was that the band name Sirius-ly gives me an uncontrollable urge to hunt down Harry Potter and punch him in the fucking face. But once I decided to review this slab of melodic metal, I discovered that this sum bitch is serious-ly special.” Step back folks, we have another “super group” on our hands.
“Voices of Destiny is a German symphonic metal band putting out their third record in 2015 (well, 2014 for Europe, but for some reason we didn’t get the promo). Since you’ve never heard of them, the best way to describe them is to say that they have a brand of symphonic metal that’s somewhat like a combination of the beauty and the beast style we all know and have mixed feelings about and, well, “core.” After putting out a pretty good debut in 2010 (From the Ashes), they followed up what was a bit more of a straight record with Power Dive in 2012. On Power Dive the band introduced Deadlock-like breakdowns, but still managed to produce a pretty good record with Maike Holzmann’s unique soprano doing a lot of heavy lifting. While they weren’t quite taking the symphocore scene by storm, Voices of Destiny had two adequate records under their belt and seemed to have some promise.” Then tragedy struck…
