Nightwish

Damnation Angels – Fiber of Our Being Review

Damnation Angels – Fiber of Our Being Review

“Will things ever return to normal? And, if they do, what will ‘normal’ look like? Sometimes it takes every fiber in my body not to lash and scream out at this stupid fucking world. Though the homeless are multiplying outside my bedroom window and even the friendliest people I know look broken down, everything’s fine. So fine. If the apocalypse is truly upon us, it’s fitting that the Damnation Angels will guide us to the flames. So, forward march. Let’s enjoy this new hell with every Fiber of Our Being.” Morale fiber.

U.D.O. / Musikkorps der Bundeswehr – We Are One Review

U.D.O. / Musikkorps der Bundeswehr – We Are One Review

“If you made a short list of metal luminaries who you’d want to record a massive concept album with a 60 piece orchestra, I have a sneaking suspicion Udo Dirkschneider wouldn’t make the cut. To be blunt, I doubt the raspy-voiced Teutonic terror would make the long list either, yet here we are. You see, the man who once fronted Accept has somehow impressed the Concert Band for the German Armed Forces (Musikkorps der Bundeswehr) into service for a collaboration titled We Are One.” Hot Tuba.

The Lightbringer – From The Void To Existence EP Review

The Lightbringer – From The Void To Existence EP Review

From The Void To Existence, like Devil With No Name‘s self-titled, is a conniving little EP that snuck through our Jericho-esque walls to fraternize with the big boys. It also manages to offend two camps in its blend of black metal and power metal: a commute, if you will, between the Realm of Obscurely Kvlt Black Metal and the Vault of Powery Cheese,” Power black attack.

Moonlight Haze – Lunaris Review

Moonlight Haze – Lunaris Review

“Angry Metal Guy’s latest n00b interrupts your regularly scheduled black metal to bring the ultimate question: is power metal metal? “It has the word metal in it, so of course it is, you babbling bumbling baboon,” you say. I get it, and it’s been proven again and again, but while various facets of the metalverse have to justify why they’re not rock, power metal is one of the only styles that must justify why it’s not pop.” Justify our love.

Turmion Kätilöt – Global Warning Review

Turmion Kätilöt – Global Warning Review

“WOW that’s a uniquely tasteless sort of cover, isn’t it? It’s as if industrial Finns Turmion Kätilöt felt the need to be seen after getting signed by Nuclear Blast, and figured that bad publicity is good publicity. Well, the cover stands out alright, just in the worst way. Let’s hope the music is better.” Naked launch.

Ravenword – Transcendence Review

Ravenword – Transcendence Review

“An Italian symphonic power metal band formed by its keyboardist and primary composer releasing their first studio album, inspired by Edgar Allen Poe’s ‘The Raven.’ This is what I bring to you today, faithful readers, and I invite you to kick me TheKenWord once for every part of that sentence you feel you’ve read somewhere before.” If nights were wishes, ravens would Poe.

Serious Black – Suite 226 Review

Serious Black – Suite 226 Review

“It’s no secret that Serious Black has fallen out of favor with me since 2016’s Mirrorworld. I mean, how do you fuck up a recipe as simple as As Daylight Breaks? Furthermore, how do you go from a Grier top-ten pick to a disappointment of the year? Well, it happened. Which found me almost missing out on 2017’s Magic and completely missing out on that same year’s acoustic release, First Light. And, when this year’s anticipated new record landed, I almost missed out again. For better or worse, Suite 226 is here with another concept story. This time a deranged lunatic rather than a top-hot magician. All I can say is buckle-up, kiddos. If I have to be here, then so do you.” Why so Serious?

Abigail Williams – Walk Beyond the Dark [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]

Abigail Williams – Walk Beyond the Dark [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]

“Manned by the dark mind of Ken Sorceron, Abigail Williams has come a long way in the last decade. Surviving lineup changes, relocations, and changes in musical directions—as well as fandom—Sorceron pushes on, refusing to settle on a path created for him by others’ expectations. Up ahead is another bend in this path. So, take my hand and let’s Walk Beyond the Dark together.” Abby normal

Coronatus – The Eminence of Nature Review

Coronatus – The Eminence of Nature Review

The Eminence of Nature is Coronatus‘ ninth studio album. Before claiming this album as my own for review, I performed my usual quick search on the AMG site to see which one of my coworkers was historically responsible for dishing out either love or distaste in response to Coronatus‘ eight other albums. Had to be either Twelve or TheKenWord given their public and overzealous love of the cheesiest of the symphonic metals. I was pleasantly surprised to see “No results for ‘Coronatus’ Try another search?” pop up on my screen. Eight albums and not one was covered by AMG?!” Bad omens.