“Druglord? Methinks our illustrious overlord, Angry Metal Guy, has given me a stoner-sludge album to review. This is great for me because I really like what similar stoner-sludge bands—namely Dopethrone, Thirst Planet, and Forming the Void—have released lately. Hailing from Richmond, Virginia, Druglord take to the streets with an extra-crunchy blend of stoner-doom and sludge.” This is your brain on Druglord.
“I had barely glanced at the cover art for Cerement, the third LP from American progressive black metal act Infera Bruo, before writing this review. This is only due to my media player failing to automatically import the art from the album’s file folder, but as I began my drafting process and truly examined the art for the first time, I’m honestly stunned at how well it encapsulates the music I’ve been scrutinizing over the past week. The image is at odds with itself; it is at once a perfect representation of the scale and abstract nature of Lovecraft’s cosmic gods, and a restriction of those same ideas within a literal box.” Cosmos in a box.
“There’s heavy, and then there’s heavy. Morne are the latter. If you don’t know the difference, you will after listening to To the Night Unknown, the Boston band’s fourth album. To be honest, I’m wasn’t previously familiar with this group, nor have we reviewed any of their older material here at AMG, but after letting To the Night Unknown melt my speakers and put cracks in my walls for a few weeks, I’ll be exploring their back-catalog tout suite.” Morne is more.
“Take a look at that cover and imagine for a second what sort of music album artwork like that might be trying to sell you. Can you hear those buzzsaws and blastbeats? Can you hear the imprecations against God, the divine order and all the fools that stand by it?” Can you judge this album by its cover? Eh, probably…
“Metal fans are fucking hard to please. We bitch when a band becomes predictable, and then we bitch some more when they experiment outside of our comfort zones. But whether you’re a contrary bastard or not, dependability is always a risky approach. We can investigate the paradox, in part, by applying two methodologies. First: the Slayer Equivalency. The act of happening upon a winning formula and then bleeding it to death despite rapidly diminishing relevance. And the second: the Angel Corpse Optimisation. A fast and frantic existence, knowingly brief, but with enough foresight to burn out with a nuclear burst of atomic violence. Brazil’s fatal fraternity, Krisiun, are on the cusp of releasing their latest full-length, but on which side of the hypothesis do they stand?” Brazil returns to wax your ass.
“The honorable Dr. Fisting has been on an extended leave and the review of the new Satan record falls to me. Which is bad news for Satan: their previous two albums, each garnered a 4.5, a score the Huckster has never deigned to hand out. Already the deck is stacked against these venerable Brits.” Give Satan his due or die.
“For what many people come to know nowadays as “Corpsegrinder’s old band,” Monstrosity has built a sterling reputation for themselves without the Cannibal Corpse front-beast. My first introduction to them was on Death…is Just the Beginning Vol. 2, but that was just one song. My true introduction was on 2007’s Spiritual Apocalypse, one of my favorite death metal records of that decade. Having not grown up in the prime era of Floridian death metal, the sound and the iconic Morrisound production style were awesome relics of a bygone time. With Spiritual Apocalypse, Monstrosity brought that time to the present; the Morrisound production was perfect, the songs were impeccable, and then… silence. That is, until now.” Now, Monstrous.
“If there’s any country you can trust to surrender untold riches ov blackened gold after relatively little investigative prodding, it’s France. Harboring such harbingers of box-breaching blackness as Alcest, Deathspell Omega, and Blut Aus Nord, the French black metal scene is very much alive and mentally unwell, and in France Muppet trusts. Muppet also trusts in Transcending Obscurity Records to the extent that a French black metal act appearing on their roster would normally be the epitome of Master-bait music.” Stop touching your promo.
“As Angry Metal Guy’s resident post-metal aficionado, I’ve been bombarded with more of the cresting-and-climaxing heavy stuff than a crab-walking man-cat can possibly handle. Epic-length songs featuring more build-ups than a pro-wrestling pay-per-view? Check. Thundering drums? Check. Cascading riffs and bass work that doesn’t teem with melody so much as it just levels you into (and sometimes through) the ground? Check and mate.” Post-Crotal glow.
“If the conversations I’ve seen on the interwebs are any indication, 2018 hasn’t been the greatest year for metal. In that regard, Allfather’s new album should come with an apology. Sorry for breaking your fucking necks, the sticker would read. But we had to remind you what good metal is all about.” Father knows beast.
