“Transport yourself if you will to the outer reaches of planet Aegis VII. A routine mining operation’s in progress with the situation fast souring. The year is 2508 and our story opens up with the USG Ishimura as it sends out an ominous distress signal to the Concordance Extraction Corporation (CEC)… I’ve misled you, this is not an overdue review of that Dead Space.” Nerd Alert!
“Forgotten Tomb aren’t new to black metal and they’re a dish best served cold. Following the disbandment of his earlier project (Sacrater), Ferdinando “Herr Morbid” Marchisio masterminded what we now know as Italy’s Forgotten Tomb.” Is it possible Forgotten Tomb forgot something important?
“Being that I had money and nothing else to do, I purchased the sophomore release [Katun] of Mexican blackened-death metallers Hacavitz.” Money and idle hands lead to poor musical choices. Always.
“As 2015 makes her grand and stately entrance, bear with and support me as I try to hunt down even more new blackened death metal albums that sound exactly like Septicflesh.” Madam X has her foibles, but she also has plenty of quirks. Join her as she unveils a Top Ten(ish) list sure to bumfuzzle and befuddle.
“Pestilential Shadows comes from the land down under, where the women glow and men plunder. Listen closely, and you’ll hear their black metal thunder. Listen even closer, and you’ll run for cover. Gimmicky introduction aside, the men in Pestilential Shadows have been at work making some seriously bleak music since 2003, and their fifth album, Ephemeral, shows no signs of deviating from this path.” Anyone want a Vegemite sandwich?
“It turns out I’m a judgmental son of a bitch. I admit it, I label people before they even open their mouths and I usually find many decisions made by others to be dumb and immature. I don’t mean to be this way, but I’m very much a person that “judges a book by its cover.” However, I have to say that nothing pleases me more than discovering that the dickhead talking to me with his Corona Light and sport coat over a Superman shirt is actually cool as shit. I like to be proved wrong about someone’s character. It makes for a much better conversation. The same goes for music.” We like judgmental types around here, since we’re in the judging business and all. And this one deserved some real serious judgment.
“I’ve been listening to a LOT of Blackened Death Metal lately and I have to say the whole “symphonic black/death” style is really sinking its teeth into the genre. I’m not condemning it, but sometimes these symphonic elements can easily be overdone. Septicflesh is a good example of the sort of over-the-top delivery to be had with their dark, symphonic landscapes. Though I’ve become quite a fan of theirs, their shit is literally dripping with orchestration. As expected, a clear line was been drawn between those that dig these metal movie soundtracks and those that don’t.” Is Noctem the new Septicflesh? Is Septicflesh the new black? All things will be revealed after you listen to your free U2 album.
“Ótta consists of 8 tracks, beginning with a representation of midnight, moving through each Eyktir in the day, coming to a steady close at what would be representative of between 9 pm and midnight. Hardly a riveting concept I grant you, but thought provoking nonetheless.” Usually it takes lots of SepticFlesh and blood to make Madam X swoon, but Sólstafir’s blend of heathenish melodic, melancholic post-metal and bizarre alternative rock seems to have done the trick in a big way!
“My childhood was a blur, but I had a rather distinct memory of someone from the First Grade. Remember when you were a kid, if you did something exemplary, your teacher would reward you with a sticker to show for your efforts? There was a kid in my class named Jason (last name escapes me) who won a “You’re the Cat’s MEOW!!!” sticker, complete with purring kitty and stars bedazzling the pre-Comic Sans font in gold letters. After slapping the sticker on his wrist, Jason was dismayed that due to adolescent sweating and kid grubbiness, it wouldn’t stick. Luckily, he had the grand idea that stapling the sticker to the underside of his wrist would be a nice way to permanently show off his rewards. Gleefully, Jason ran around the room, giggling incessantly and displaying the proud reward of his efforts as color drained from his face and blood jizzed from his arm, both at an alarming rate.” Grown up Jason would like this band.
In 2009 Angry Metal Guy started. Since then we’ve produced hundreds of reviews, and Angry Metal Guy has cranked at the world for free. Check out what he takes away from the whole experience.
