“Leeds-based foursome Blacklisters’ sophomore release Adult is a cynical punch in the face accompanied by a sardonic smile. An eruption of sickening bile gestated for years in pools of angst spat by generations of punk, hardcore, and noise bands.” If you’re like me and don’t like clowns, this cover creeps you out.
“If you’re reading this site, then I’m sure you’re aware that Slayer has been through a couple of changes in recent years. At the moment, only vocalist/bassist Tom Araya and guitarist Kerry King remain from the band’s original lineup, augmented by returning drummer Paul Bostaph and touring guitarist Gary Holt (Exodus).” The Kerry King Road Show pulls into town and they have Jägermeister.
“The biggest problem with grabbing a thrash promo from a band that references Forbidden, Annihilator and Testament, is that I have no choice but to spend hours listening to some of the greatest metal albums to date. Not that I’m complaining but it is difficult to shut off Annihilator’s Alice in Hell once it gets started.” Thrash is back…for the attack.
“Ah, Krisiun. Your militant drumming, battering riffs, and enraged vocals have earned you a place on quite a few of my “wake up the neighbors” playlists over the years. While calling you an institution may be a stretch, you’re certainly a band of workhorses, belching out no-bullshit death metal as a fraternal trio since 1990, and serving as a constant reminder that Brazil is more than just nice tushes, dense rainforests, and a Terry Gilliam film about a dystopian bureaucracy that would make FEMA shiver.” The angry wind came blowing in, from across the sea….
“Japan’s Barbatos is apparently a side project of Yasuyuki, vocalist/bassist for punk-metal combo Abigail. While the two bands are similar to the point of redundancy, Barbatos has been far less prolific, releasing only four full-lengths (and a bunch of 7″ splits) during a 15-year career. Straight Metal War is their first LP in nearly a decade, and it’s on Hell’s Headbangers — a label whose resistance to modernity is rivaled only by the Amish — so you KNOW it’s gonna be some old-school shit.” Boobs!
“The internet is all around us. People can hear an unfamiliar song, click a button on their phone, and be told what that track is in mere seconds. To the younger me, that would’ve been sorcery! I took advantage of precisely none of the limitless information constantly available to me when listening to Blasphemic Cruelty’s latest EP Crucible of the Infernum, and instead uttered verbatim what the venerable Al Kikuras said in his initial impression of the latest Perdition Temple record: Holy Shit, this sounds like Angelcorpse.” Another Angelcorpse hybrid falls to the ground, is it worth shedding a tear over?
“As made blatantly obvious in my first review of 2015, last year left me drained, beaten, and more fucked over than a single person can stand. So, it is only fitting that Hellbastard’s brutally honest and extremely pissed-off Feral allowed me the opportunity to let everything go, smash shit, speed recklessly down the highway, and drop a big “fuck you” to all the bullshit.” Go fookin coconuts!
“I’m sure by now you all know that your favorite artists don’t exactly live the lives they write about. Slayer’s Tom Araya is a devout Catholic and a proud family man. Similarly, W.A.S.P.’s Blackie Lawless gave up fucking like a beast for Jesus. Glenn Danzig loves his cats and Morbid Angel’s Trey Azagthoth is a gamer and a Sailor Moon fanatic. In other words, it’s not all that often you encounter a musician (or band) that lives up to the extreme lyrics they pen. They’re just regular, mundane human beings like you and me.” How disappointing….
“On the hunt for some mid-eighties style hybrid black thrash packed with blasphemous Venom? Well, as luck would have it the Greek titans, Satan’s Wrath, are back in black, sporting a lineup change, and they have just such a putrid platter!” With a cover like you, you know you’ll need a patched denim vest.
“Up until now, there were three things that came to mind when I thought of Ireland; St. Patty’s Day, Guinness and Primordial. It turns out there is now a fourth: ZOM. Now, if you go to their Facebook page, this Irish threesome claims to exist in the “Anti-Matter Universe.” Goofy sounding? It is. But my Aunt has a summer home there and she just loves it. Regardless of where they reside, ZOM are definitely intent on wreaking havoc in this Anti-Anti-Matter Universe of ours.” That’s all well and good, but if they make me spill my Guinness, shit’s going down in all the universes.
