Cherd

Sludge is the word.
Hellish Form – Deathless Review

Hellish Form – Deathless Review

“Here at AMG and Sons LLC we have a strict “no promo, no review” policy which must be adhered to at all times except for when we don’t feel like it. Back in 2021, we received a promo for Hellish Form’s debut Remains, I reviewed it favorably, and it eventually landed on my year-end list. Imagine my surprise when I found out a week ago that the funeral drone two-piece had released their follow-up, Deathless without sending us a promo. In fact, they’ve released it with very little fanfare at all based on my internet sleuthing. First, Willow Ryan and Jacob Lee, if you’re reading this, click here. Second, you’re not getting away that easy.” Only death amd reviews are inevitable.

Majesties – Vast Reaches Unclaimed Review

Majesties – Vast Reaches Unclaimed Review

“Tanner Anderson, Carl Skildum and Matthew Kirkwood unofficially formed Majesties in 2016 with melodic death metal in mind and Gothenburg, Sweden in their hearts. It wasn’t until 2022, however, that their debut album, Vast Reaches Unclaimed, coalesced to present a classic conundrum for conscientious music reviewers: how do we talk about a really good pastiche?” Majesty and decay.

Dusk – Spectrums Review

Dusk – Spectrums Review

“How I came to pen this review is kind of a funny story. Upon entering our promo pit and undergoing de-lousing, this record was tagged as death doom. Whether that was an honest mistake or something more nefarious is an ongoing discussion. The advance material does tout a guest spot by Jaani Peuhu, briefly a member of death doom luminaries Swallow the Sun (more on that later), but Steel has also openly admitted he sometimes lays promo traps for unsuspecting writers to unwittingly claim metalcore. Spectrums, the debut full-length by Saudi one-man band Dusk, has nary a hint of death doom. I’ll give you one guess what it is.” Traps in the glooming.

Dryad – The Abyssal Plain Review

Dryad – The Abyssal Plain Review

“When one considers the state of Iowa, one is unlikely to think of black metal. Be-masked hard rock radio metal? Yes. Black metal, no. Likewise, Iowa conjures images of corn fields, wind turbines, college football Saturdays and James Tiberius Kirk. But the ocean? Not unless you’re a paleontologist. You see, the verdant rolling hills of all those Grant Wood paintings were once covered by an enormous prehistoric inland sea. As a result, the place is absolutely lousy with fossils of trilobites and giant sea scorpions. I wonder if this was at least part of the inspiration for Iowa City, Iowa’s very own crusty black metal quartet Dryad as they were writing their debut full-length, the marine-themed The Abyssal Plain.” Flyover seas.

A Cherdmas Carol: Brojob – A Very Deathcore Christmas, Archeopteryx – A Very Blackened Christmas, and One Hell of a Christmas – Horrific Holiday Music for the Jaded Masses, Vol 1 Reviews

A Cherdmas Carol: Brojob – A Very Deathcore Christmas, Archeopteryx – A Very Blackened Christmas, and One Hell of a Christmas – Horrific Holiday Music for the Jaded Masses, Vol 1 Reviews

“That night in my bedchambers, I had just changed into my dressing gown and settled before the fireplace when a song began playing, faintly, but growing louder until, alarmed, I recognized it as “The Hammer” by Skelator. “How?!” I cried. “Such drivel in my house?!” Just then, a ghostly apparition burst into the room and strut about like a pro wrestler winding up the crowd. I shuddered, for I knew its face.” Right in the Dickens!

Cherd’s Raw Black Metal Muster [Things You Might Have Missed 2022]

Cherd’s Raw Black Metal Muster [Things You Might Have Missed 2022]

“There are two types of people in this world: those who appreciate raw black metal, and those who live fulfilling lives with friends and careers and family who speak to them at holiday gatherings. I’ve declared my love of raw black metal here before, and since the advent of Bandcamp, the kvltest of all metal genres has become infinitely more accessible. Every year I wade through acres of tape hiss and tinny treble, looking for the half dozen or so raw black releases that rise above the buzzing tangle of cobwebs to rarified, putrid air, and this year, I’ve finally decided to document my findings.” Colonel Muster in the basement with a spiked club.

Hagetisse – De verminkte stilte van het zijn Review

Hagetisse – De verminkte stilte van het zijn Review

“Maurice de Jong has had a rough go of things within the hallowed halls of this website. Perhaps best known for Gnaw Their Tongues but involved in no fewer than 15 current projects according to Metal Archives, many of them of the one-man variety, the Dutchman has been reviewed here in his various forms eight times by my count. His scores? A shocking 0.5, 1.0, 1.5, 2.5, 2.5, a 3.0 that our resident shark person has since demoted to a 2.5, and two presumably un-recanted 3.0s from former site writers long since missing under suspicious circumstances. Hagetisse is straightforward, riffy black metal and a far cry from the experimental blackened noise shenanigans de Jong is best known for.” The law of averages.