“I never get sick—except during Christmas and New Year’s. It never fails. Every. Single. Holiday. Season. Thankfully, I have Feral with their latest drop to keep me warm and energized as I cough my lungs out. Flesh of Funerals Eternal is the band’s third full length effort, and these Swedes are here to prove that they are exactly as their name suggests: frantic, vicious and unrelenting death metal.” Cat scratch blood fever.
“Dødsferd is one strange duck. If there was a band you could sue for false advertising, it would be this one. I still remember the shock of hearing the band’s debut, Desecrating the Spirit of Life. I mean, how did this one get by me? I thought I’d heard every ’90s Norwegian black metal gem out there. After my friend realized I wasn’t joking, he gently corrected me. ‘Dude, these guys are from Greece and this is brand new.'” Contract the disease.
“Take a minute to appreciate this album artwork. Not only is it an excellent demonstration of basic design principles, composition and color theory, it also clearly establishes the genre of its artist. In this case, the artist is Master and the genre is death/thrash. Master have been active since 1983 with minimal interruptions and a long roster of ex-drummers and ex-guitarists. Having finally settled on a solid lineup in 2003, Master soldiered on with few changes made to their thrashy death sound. With fourteenth installment Vindictive Miscreant, Master aim to prove they’re just as vital as they were in 1983.” Who’s your Master?
“I was settling into my windowless, poorly ventilated n00b office when I heard voices in the hall. Steel Druhm was asking for a review status, and words formed in an iron throat answered, ‘I’m watching a Vampire Diaries marathon until Halloween. Give it to a n00b.'” Exploitation is the gift we give n00bkind.
“Cipher is a black metal release that operates like a death metal record. This is not to say that Imperialist is merely a blackened death metal act, as doing so would be to grossly undersell their potency. Rather, they offer pure black metal, supplemented with riff techniques derived from death metal and thrash, to craft a richly textured riffscape.” Genre bend, style blend.
“We all know how powerful music can be, but as I meander through another twist of this mortal coil, I find myself pondering its capacity to conjure times gone by. The same way memories are summoned by the senses, certain contortions of distortion take me right back. Heads for the Dead — a supergroup comprised of members of Wombbath, Henry Kane, and Revel in Flesh; amongst others — transport me to a time when I was willing to skin knuckles over my favorite bands; a time when death metal and beer were everything and I would arrogantly inform anyone, whether they were willing to listen or not.” Back to the days of trvness and posers.
“If there’s any country you can trust to surrender untold riches ov blackened gold after relatively little investigative prodding, it’s France. Harboring such harbingers of box-breaching blackness as Alcest, Deathspell Omega, and Blut Aus Nord, the French black metal scene is very much alive and mentally unwell, and in France Muppet trusts. Muppet also trusts in Transcending Obscurity Records to the extent that a French black metal act appearing on their roster would normally be the epitome of Master-bait music.” Stop touching your promo.
“Hailing from this hallowed homeland of haunted hopelessness and hunting for a home in your heart are Lurk, a four-piece sludge-doom act who really know how to pick an album cover. Fringe is the band’s third full-length and, as you can probably guess, there will be no happiness here, but that’s not always a bad thing, is it?” No joy, no love in Finland.
“My middle school biology teacher once said, ‘Once you stop growing, you literally start dying.’ His morbid sentiment was, of course, referring to one’s physical body, but in retrospect, I’ve adopted a more philosophical interpretation of that statement. In order to beat spiritual death, you need to continue growing, and that means continually pushing yourself. At first glance, this seems exactly the ethos Sathanas live by.” D.I.E. (Death in effect).
“A black metal Transcending Obscurity release with monochrome artwork: who could have ever foreseen this one falling into my velvety grasp? Portugal’s Gaerea certainly put their Muppet-est foot forward when casting Unsettling Whispers into the Angry Metal Promo Sump, and yet I was wary. Black metal is the best metal, ov course, but it’s also everywhere and lately sounding too similar to itself. Sure, a few vague details got my attention, but I’m a poseur and all the Muppet love in the world can’t make an album innovative or objectively meritorious; did I perhaps build my hopes too high only to find yet another band trying to be either Ulcerate or Agalloch?” Black metal art.
