Not Metal

Author & Punisher – Women & Children Review

Author & Punisher – Women & Children Review

“There’s a moment in time, at a certain point and it doesn’t even matter where, when one starts to wonder: how big is this machine? Does it have thoughts of its own? Where does the medium start and the human mind end? But does it matter, after all? Author & Punisher is a true son of post-industrial America: one of those people who may end up living their entire lives without having to turn the handles of a proper mechanical apparatus, smell the iron, wonder why its aroma is so similar to that of human blood and confuse form with substance. Machines – greasy joints dripping oil as if sweat – belong to zoos together with those strange animals (cows, goats, donkeys, etc.) young kids rarely see.” I for one would love to visit a mechanical zoo! Anywho, Alex provides us with more of his thoughtful musings on life, machinery and metal as he examines the new Author & Punisher opus.

Magnus Karlsson – Free Fall Review

Magnus Karlsson – Free Fall Review

“Hot on the heels of Jorn’s Traveller, Free Fall is living, breathing, tangible proof that Frontiers Records know their 70’s flavored hard rock! Picking up Free Fall is a little like solving a riddle… getting thrown head first into a melting pot and it’s quite literally a who’s who of hard rock or heavy metal. At the forefront of Free Fall you have the man of the hour, Swedish, heavy metal multi-instrumentalist, classically trained wizard and songwriter Magnus Karlsson axeman to the likes of Primal Fear, Allen/Lande, Last Tribe and a host of others. Do you like the slick hard rock style of metal that Jorn and Allen/Lande traffic in? Does the idea of an album with 9 vocalists work for you? This thing is directly in Madam X’s wheelhouse, so she will help you answer the above questions.

Heartless – Certain Death Review

Heartless – Certain Death Review

“This hardcore punk band is right. Death is the horizon beyond which one cannot see, but the Heidegger-ish album title would be more impactful if the song lyrics actually related to the German existentialist’s philosophy.You see, this Pittsburgh group has lyrics dripping with the stale venom of bitter angst, which seems to be directed at society. (What’s new, right?) But Happy Metal Guy isn’t too sure about that, because the lyrics are too cryptic for anyone’s good. If you want your audience to attempt to understand your point of view, at least string together a bunch of more coherent phrases.” Happy Metal Guy is fine with German existentialism, providing you don’t screw him over with shitty lyrics. The man has standards after all!

Chaostar – Anomima Review

Chaostar – Anomima Review

“Christos Antoniou is a busy guy, classically trained musician and composer, he’s probably more commonly associated with the likes of Septicflesh. Album after album they’ve brought something huge, dramatic and tasty to the table and if you’re like me you’ve ravenously gobbled up every last scrap and looked around for seconds. Well here they are… what you may or may not know is that Christos has a side-project called Chaostar, born round the time Septicflesh released The Eldest Cosmonaut. While their core sound definitely captures some of what makes Septicflesh great, it’s also enough set apart that it’s an entirely different animal.” Join Madam X as she’s dragged kicking and screaming out of the mosh pit and unceremoniously dumped into the world of baroque style classical music… will she come out unscathed on the other side?

Steven Wilson – The Raven that Refused to Sing (and Other Stories) Review

Steven Wilson – The Raven that Refused to Sing (and Other Stories) Review

Steven Wilson coming up with a new album in 2013; it’s pretty much a progressive affair. As simple as that. There is nothing here that manages to stretch itself out of the canons of such a well-defined genre. On the contrary, the music on The Raven that Refused to Sing (and Other Stories) revolves around what has made prog rock what it is today: complex dynamics, a wide range of styles harmoniously compressed to form a variegated compound and digressions; lots of them.” Alex Franquelli wanders through the maze that is the new Steven Wilson release and tries not to take too many digressions himself.

Jorn – Symphonic Review

Jorn – Symphonic Review

Really? The almighty Jorn Lande needs an introduction? I’m sure Steel Druhm has probably covered this before, but alright, so where to start – He’s the Father of all the Gods and is usually seen with his two ravens close at hand, them being Huginn (Thought) and Munin (Memory) [for pictures of said ravens check out the covers of Spirit Black, Dio, We Bring Heavy Rock to the Land and now of course Symphonic]. I see Wikipedia says he’s the God of magick, wisdom, wit and learning…fkkkkkk wrong Wiki page, that’s what happens when you get your Norse Gods confused (I swear it was the ravens that threw me)!

Things You Might Have Missed 2012: The Night Flight Orchestra – Internal Affairs

Things You Might Have Missed 2012: The Night Flight Orchestra – Internal Affairs

Lost in the diarrhea-like flood of bad deathcore and pretentious doom metal released in 2012, a little band from Sweden released a gem of old-school, adjective-less rock ‘n roll. The album in question is Internal Affairs by The Night Flight Orchestra, a quintet that just happens to include vocalist Björn “Speed” Strid and guitarist David […]

Things You Might Have Missed 2012: Tenacious D – Rize of the Fenix

Things You Might Have Missed 2012: Tenacious D – Rize of the Fenix

So, let me start by saying that Jack Black isn’t funny. Now that we have that out of the way, you can take this little blurb for what it is: a reminder that this record did get released and that it didn’t eat a big fat dick. In fact, I’ve always had a really weird relationship to Tenacious D because while I think that Jack Black is really not funny even a little bit (no, I mean really, I never laugh at his stuff essentially ever), the music on these records is actually really solid, neo-classic rock. This is obvious from about a minute and a half into title and opening track “Rize of the Fenix,” where the pure Kansas riff and the chorus that evokes that sweet time in popular music when musicians could write songs, play instruments and be famous even if they looked like Steve Perry. It was a magical time we’ll never get back.