Not Metal

California Breed – California Breed Review

By Dr. Fisting on May 18, 2014 in 2014, Frontiers Records, Not Metal, Reviews, 0 comments

“The entire concept of a “supergroup” requires that at least some of the parties involved were “super” individually, prior to forming a band together. An unfortunate side effect of this is that when they have bills to pay, or get tired of working with their bandmates, they can always go back to whatever they were doing before. This is what led to the demise of Black Country Communion, when guitar superstar Joe Bonamassa returned to his solo career, taking BCC keyboardist Derek Sherinian with him. Undaunted, bassist/vocalist Glenn Hughes (Deep Purple) and John Bonham stunt double Jason Bonham carried on, enlisting unknown guitarist Andrew Watt.” Another supergroup…sigh. Mr. Fisting tells you just how super they truly are.

Plain Ride – Skeleton Kites Review

By Dr. Fisting on May 11, 2014 in 2014, Ektro Records, Finnish Metal, Not Metal, Reviews, 7 comments

“Plain Ride,’s latest album, Skeleton Kites, is billed as “a blues album created with a mindset of a West African proto-doom band, made in Finland.” If you’re wondering what the fuck that means, that makes two of us. More importantly, who is Plain Ride? Well, they’re a 5-piece band from Finland who have been around for about a decade. They’re led by vocalist/guitarist Janne Westerlund, who is apparently a big deal as a solo artist (never heard of him). Their website describes their style as “Folk, Country, Blues, hypno-psychedelic Krautrock.” In layman’s terms, that means that Plain Ride is either pretentious as fuck, or they have a very imaginative PR person.” I’m putting money on the latter.

Pet Slimmers of the Year – Fragments of Uniforms Review

By Madam X on March 29, 2014 in 2014, Candlelight, English Metal, Non-Metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Post-Rock, Reviews, Post-Metal, 3 comments

“So the Process Church of the Final Judgement wasn’t really your thing? Don’t slit your wrists over it, cults aren’t for everybody. Candlelight Records recently took a walk on the wild side adding a band that doesn’t run with their usual black metal or even their melodic death metal circles. Their band name is absurd, meaningless and annoying to the point where Nothing actually may be the better option, and to say that it had me tearing my hair out in chunks is an understatement. Pet Slimmers of the Year… Have you tried to Google this? No dammit, I’m not putting my feline on a diet, round is a shape too!” Yep, that’s the worst band name of all time. But, is the music any good? Madam X has opinions.

Nightsatan – Nightsatan and the Loops of Doom Review

By Steel Druhm on March 28, 2014 in 2014, Finnish Metal, Not Metal, Reviews, Doom Metal, 11 comments

“Well, after reviewing another album by true cult creepers and religious deviants Sabbath Assembly, I thought things couldn’t wander any further into strangeville. Clearly, I was mistaken and to prove it, Nightsatan arrived in my promo bin with their second album, Nightsatan and the Loops of Doom. Why are they so weird you ask, apart from the truly dreadful moniker? Well for starters, this Finnish three-piece records spacy, synth-heavy soundtracks to late 1970s/early 80s, Grade-Z, post-apocalyptic sci-fi movies…that don’t exist. That’s correct, soundtracks to imaginary movies that would have played at your local drive-ins at midnight along with such classics as Galaxy of Terror, Deathrace 2000 and Deathsport (the latter of which features the mother of all cheesy synth soundtracks).” Ready to expand your horizons into strange new worlds? Barbarella awaits!

Nothing – Guilty of Everything Review

By Madam X on February 23, 2014 in 2014, American Metal, Not Metal, Relapse, Reviews, Shoegaze, Not Metal, Shoegaze, 6 comments

“An odd album crept its way onto the Angry Metal promo list in this past month, one that while plenty dark, is far removed from metal, and despite all it’s heavily worded promise, as wholly lacking in anger as I’ve come across in a while. At its most basic, it appears the band couldn’t come up with a decent band name and so took the easy way out, calling themselves Nothing…” Madam X has reviewed nothing lately and frankly, we expected more from her. That said, here goes Nothing.

Lethe – When Dreams Become Nightmares Review

By Grymm on January 12, 2014 in 2014, Avante Garde, Debemur Morti, Gothic Metal, Not Metal, Reviews, Not Metal, 3 comments

“When I throw the label “experimental metal” out to you, what does your blastbeat-addled mind conjure for images and sounds? Does your brain picture off-the-wall time changes, weird instrumentation, musical concepts foreign to metal, or something truly out of left field? Or, like me, does it simply explain that what you’re about to listen to, well, isn’t really metal? Sadly, 9 times out of 10, most “experimental” bands fall into the latter category. Lethe is a new project featuring Anna Murphy (Eluveitie) and Tor-Helge Skei (Manes) waving the “experimental metal” flag with their debut, When Dreams Become Nightmares. Does Lethe carve a new path through the thickets, emblazoning new trails, and sending the hordes kicking and screaming, welcoming the dawn of a new day in the world of heavy metal?” Grymm answers this thorny question and weighs the relative worth of this experiment in metal and/or non-metal.

Alcest – Shelter Review

By Jordan Campbell on December 23, 2013 in 2013, Black Metal, French Metal, Not Metal, Prophecy Productions, Reviews, Black Metal, 16 comments

“Alcest’s trek to Shelter has been a long and gorgeous journey. Over the years, Neige has taken his most-loved project from black metal soil and sprouted upward, spinning his branches and leaves into beautiful, soothing soundscapes. His ambitions have long been combated by black metallers that thrive on ugliness and rebellion; Alcest’s inherent prettiness seemed at odds with the genre’s core ethos. Yet it was hard to argue with the results.” Does the beautification of black metal continue on Shelter? How much lush gorgeousness can the blackness take before turning that frown upside down? Valid questions all.

Boston – Life, Love & Hope Review

By Dr. Fisting on December 6, 2013 in 2013, Frontier Records, Not Metal, Releases, Reviews, 11 comments

“As someone who grew up in the Midwestern U.S., I am more than familiar with the music of Boston. Ever since the late-’70s, FM radio has played almost every track from the band’s 1976 debut album on a daily basis. I’ve never been a huge fan of the band, but some of those songs are pretty badass, if cheesy. More recently, the band was dealt a tragic blow when founding singer Brad Delp committed suicide in 2007. A brief tour followed with Michael Sweet (Stryper) taking Delp’s place, but when Sweet returned to his main band, it was assumed that Boston would be laid to rest. So I was intrigued by the news of a new record, Life, Love & Hope, recorded by mainman Tom Scholz and a mostly new lineup.” The lead singer on their “new” album has been dead since 2007. And it gets worse.

Poison Idea – Kings Of Punk Review

By Dr. Fisting on November 14, 2013 in 2013, 3.0, Hardcore, Non-Metal Metal Things, Not Metal, Rating, Releases, Southern Lord, Hardcore, 3 comments

The phrase “underrated” gets thrown around a lot, but it’s a pretty apt description for legendary Oregon punks Poison Idea. These guys somehow never got the respect or notoriety that their contemporaries did, despite having their songs covered by everyone from Turbonegro to Machine Head to Pantera (yes, that fucking song from The Crow). Led by larger-than-life frontman Jerry A. and equally huge guitarist Pig Champion, PI were a force to be reckoned with, both musically and physically (legend has it that the band weighed over 1,300 lbs. at the height of their substance abuse days). Here’s a weighty slice of classic hardcore for you, re-released with many bells unt whistles. Mr. Fisting rubs the belly and tells us what kind of sounds to expect from this seminal punk crew.

Grumbling Fur – Glynnaestra Review

By Alex Franquelli on September 9, 2013 in 2013, 4.0, English Metal, Not Metal, Reviews, Thrill Jockey, Not Metal, 3 comments

‘“Why did you start making music?” I asked, while pretending to sip the amazingly cheap red wine in my half-broken glass, scouting for what was left of my dignity while lying on the cold floor. I don’t think he ever gave me an answer, but there are times when Daniel O’Sullivan does not even bother formulating a reply. He breathed out another puff, I turned my head and gave an intoxicated nod to the ceiling while looking nowhere ahead of me. Grumbling Fur’s music is exactly like that whiff. It is not an answer because nobody has ever posed the right question.” If we ever needed someone to decipher that whiff of smoke, you know we’d call Alex to do so. He speaks smoke and obscurity, after all.