Converge

Unborn Generation – Vøid Review

Unborn Generation – Vøid Review

“The hallowed Angry Metal Spreadsheet Ov Promos was the first time I’d heard of Unborn, and thus I decided to leave my reservations at the door, enter the Vøid, and find out just what these Finns were all about. Does this sixth full-length grind n’ roll, bump n’ grind, or just stand around looking ominous in a hooded sweatshirt?” Roll out the grinder!

Daze of June – Heart of Silver Review

Daze of June – Heart of Silver Review

“Thank you for registering your interest for the Daze of JuneHeart of Silver Situational Response Kit. Here at Anodyne Metalcore Industries™ we pride ourselves on delivering products that are designed for any delicate occasion in need of a solution. Below you will find a number of scenarios that outline the efficacy of our product. With its polished delivery and muted dynamics, Daze of JuneHeart of Silver can be counted on when a calming, neutered experience is called for, no matter how fragile the circumstances. Be assured that this Danish-made item is professionally engineered and focus-tested to give you exactly what you expect with no surprises or unwanted excitement.” Fake Placid.

Bind Torture Kill – Viscères Review

Bind Torture Kill – Viscères Review

“This January, the Angry Metal Gods saw fit to bless us with multitudes of favor during what strange, countless aeons of headbanging have typically proven to be the darkest of times for trve believers, and we all say thank-ya. February it may be, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to say goodbye to Jørnuary tidings, and it’s definitely not time to stop saying thank-ya. By the deity-defying powers of Muppets, France, and procrastination, let us bask in the revitalizing glory of 2018’s expectations-shattering induction for just a little longer. Friends, meet Viscères, the second full-length by Bind Torture Kill.” Fashionably late and brvtal.

Death on Fire – Witch Hunter Review

Death on Fire – Witch Hunter Review

Death on Fire wants you to know that Witch Hunter isn’t your grandpa’s melodeath. If that Playboy-for-Pyramid-Head cover doesn’t convince you, one spin through its prickly hollow will. There will be none of that slickly-produced astronaut cheese metal you babies lap up so greedily, not today. The music of one-man band Tim Kenefic is ugly and coarse, like clawing at a scab that will never heal.” Pick your poison, pick your scabs.

AngryMetalGuy.com’s Aggregated Top 10(ish) of 2017: The List to End All Lists

AngryMetalGuy.com’s Aggregated Top 10(ish) of 2017: The List to End All Lists

“¡Chicos! It is arrived. The list for which you have all been waiting. Listurnalia has run its course for 2017, and the semi-final list is upon us. This year, there were a ton of different albums mentioned, and let’s just say for the record that any record that was mentioned that isn’t on my (AMG) list is wrong. But, alas, other people also work here or the blog wouldn’t be written. So, in honor of all these lesser mortals who think they’re special, I present: AngryMetalGuy.com’s Meta List. Also known as…” Lists of things once listed.

Yer Metal Is Olde: Zao – Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest

Yer Metal Is Olde: Zao – Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest

“Let’s just say you’re in a hardcore band with a niche-but-loyal audience. You just completed a major festival, embarked on a fairly successful US tour, and you’re about to write your next album when your bandmates decide, ‘Hey, you know what? I’m giving up music for the ministry.’ Folks, that’s what happened in 1997, to Jesse Smith, (now former) drummer for (then-)Virginia’s Christian hardcore outfit, Zao.” Cross-core and more.

Dr. A.N. Grier’s Top Ten(ish) of 2017

Dr. A.N. Grier’s Top Ten(ish) of 2017

“Remember that scene in Ghostbusters (the real Ghostbusters…) where Winston tells Ray, ‘If someone asks you if you are a god, you say yes!’ Well, if someone asks you if you want to write a guide for teaching organic chemistry, you say hellafuckingno. I’m serious. Do yourself, and everyone around you, a favor. So, yeah, this year’s been nuts. Thankfully, there’s Angry Metal Guy—a solace for all metalheads to come together and be verbally abused and cat-tailed in the company basement.” Cat’s got yer list.

Mark Z’s and L. Saunder’s Top Ten(ish of 2017

Mark Z’s and L. Saunder’s Top Ten(ish of 2017

“Well, there it went. Another year, another… blah blah blah. Let’s be honest: you’re not here to listen to me drone on about how 2017 was, you’re here to scour my list for stuff you might not have heard, confirm your own good taste by seeing how many of your favorites match up with my own, and chime in with your own take on my admittedly questionable choices.” Valid.

Record(s) o’ the Month – November 2017

Record(s) o’ the Month – November 2017

“In a dramatic departure from the established AMG norm, the Record(s) o’ the Month for November arrives rather late. With all the shopping, tree trimming, eggnog funneling and Happy Metal Guy mauling, there was scant time in which to hold the dreaded staff meetings/mud pit brawls that are part and parcel of our selection process. Yes, the silly season infects even those on the mighty mountain of AMG Conglomerated Blog Emporium.” The gifts you don’t deserve have arrived.