Dutch Metal

Delain – Moonbathers Review

Delain – Moonbathers Review

By Diabolus in Muzaka on August 14, 2016 in 2016, Dutch Metal, Eurocore, Hard Rock, Napalm Records, Reviews, Eurocore, Hard Rock, Melodic Metal, 45 comments

“Metal bands sure like to take baths in a wide variety of places, be it in the sun, in blood, in ghosts, in wombs, in entrails, or in whatever “slaughtb” is. Me, I’m more of a shower guy. A nice cold shower helps you think, and tons of great ideas come to be in there, but sometimes you get this introductory bit. It seems that the Dutchmen and Dutchwomen in Delain have suggested a new place for our metallic hygienic niche to take place on their fifth album: the moon.” Delain got a tongue lashing from AMG for being normcore back in 2012. Will DiM be nicer than he was?

Izegrim – The Ferryman’s End Review

Izegrim – The Ferryman’s End Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on March 19, 2016 in 2016, Death Metal, Dutch Metal, Listenable Records, Melodic Death Metal, Reviews, Thrash Metal, Death Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Thrash Metal, 10 comments

“For those new to Izegrim, it only takes a few descriptive words to describe these Dutch metallers. What if I described the vocalist as a blonde woman with raspy, deathy vox? What if I categorized their sound as melodeath with thrashy breakdowns? What if I described their mission as causing inner-ear damage and venue deconstruction?” I know what you’re thinking: NIGHTWISH!

Collision – Satanic Surgery Review

Collision – Satanic Surgery Review

By Diabolus in Muzaka on February 15, 2016 in 2016, Dutch Metal, Grind, Hammerheart Records, Hardcore, Reviews, Thrash Metal, Hardcore, 24 comments

“Sometimes I feel like a wine critic. Not because I spit booze into a bucket like a drunken ibex and pretend it’s a real job when I write about it, but because I’m describing what I hear and then telling you good folks about how my “palate” reacts to it. Although it would be substantially easier to just sniff, taste or write “a bold 90s flavour, Good/5.0” and call it a day, this metal gig actually lets me reference hamburgers, beer, and philosophy at a frankly ludicrous frequency so I can confidently say I made the right choice. With that in mind I’ve taken many sips from the boxed Merlot of Dutch thrashcore merchants Collision’s fifth full-length Satanic Surgery, and much like a baffled wine critic (Diabolus in Vino?) I had one Hell of a time figuring out why it tasted funny.” Time for speed tasting!

Villainy – Villainy II: Dim Review

Villainy – Villainy II: Dim Review

By Mark Z. on February 8, 2016 in 2016, Black Metal, Crust Punk, Doom Metal, Dutch Metal, Listenable Records, Progressive Metal, Reviews, Black Metal, Doom Metal, Progressive Metal, 26 comments

“Though I have no musical ability, back in high school I used to love plucking random strings on my friend’s Stratocaster knockoff and imagining I was composing an avant-garde interlude for some progressive screamo album.” You know, with an intro like that, I’m pretty sure you’ll end up not trusting this guy’s judgement anyway…

Cirith Gorgor – Visions of Exalted Lucifer Review

Cirith Gorgor – Visions of Exalted Lucifer Review

By Grymm on February 7, 2016 in 2016, Black Metal, Dutch Metal, Hammerheart Records, Reviews, Black Metal, 17 comments

“There’s something to be said for toiling away at your craft for a long period of time, sacrificing goats and virgins your time, energy, and the relationships in your life in order to hit that Holy Grail of recognition and notoriety. Regardless of the degree of success, you can’t deny that a bit of respect is to be had for those who refuse to quit.” Then again, a little self-insight never hurt anybody…

The Monolith Deathcult – Bloodcvlts Review

The Monolith Deathcult – Bloodcvlts Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on April 5, 2015 in 2015, Death Metal, Dutch Metal, Industrial Metal, Reviews, Season of Mist, Death Metal, Industrial Metal, 15 comments

“One visit to The Monolith Deathcult’s website or Facebook page and you’ll instantly have the same problem I do when trying to take these guys seriously. I mean, come on. If you met me in a bar and I was holding a baseball bat, outfitted in atrocious sunglasses, and sucking on a cigar, you’d be looking to trade me for the lead man of Bad Guys as your designated wingman, and rightly so.” No one’s getting lucky tonight.

Heidevolk – Velua Review

Heidevolk – Velua Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on April 3, 2015 in 2015, Dutch Metal, Folk Metal, Napalm Records, Reviews, Viking Metal, Folk Metal, Viking Metal, 19 comments

“Talk about coming full circle. I remember visiting the pages of Angry Metal Guy for the first time in 2010 and reading the review for Heidevolk’s Uit oude grond by our esteemed Mr. Angry Metal Guy. I bought that album and the two previous ones that fucking day (so don’t lose too much sleep over spending money on AMG recommendations; it’s been happening for years).” We review, you buy. That’s just how it folking works, sheeples!

Melechesh – Enki Review

Melechesh – Enki Review

By Grymm on March 24, 2015 in 2015, Black Metal, Dutch Metal, Nuclear Blast, Reviews, Thrash Metal, Black Metal, 35 comments

“I am absolutely aware that many of you readers have been waiting with overflowing anticipation for a review of Melechesh’s 6th opus, Enki. And who can blame you? 2010’s The Epigenesis was a solid, heavy, and above all enjoyable slab of Sumerian blackened thrash goodness that not only impressed The Big Boss himself, but also got yours truly to go searching through their back catalog to investigate their music further. So when Angry Metal Guy himself handed Enki off to me last week for review, I was frothing at the bit to deliver the goods to you.” The sandy wind, comes blowing in, across the dunes….