“Boy, where to even begin. If you’re a regular AMG reader and wondering why I’ve been reviewing the albums everyone expects to be catastrophes, it is in fact not due to my impending sacking. Rather, I’ve challenged myself to outpace the frankly worrying rate of Steel Druhm reviews for a month, and since brutal death metal is thin this time of year and we “employ” about fifteen writers who aren’t me nowadays, I have to subside on albums like Therapeutic Destruction.” When HR becomes obsolete.
“Risking sideways looks around the break room, I harbor an innate soft spot for DragonForce. You can say what you want about their incessant need to beat their frets to death, but it still resulted in some damn catchy songs. Plus, I was that kid who was way better at Guitar Hero than everyone else. DragonForce couldn’t repel more girls if they wore orthodontic headgear with a d20 strapped to it, so naturally Teenage Mutant Metal Wvrm loved them. Novareign clearly feel the same way.” Welcome to Wankville.
“Some pain will last. In particular, those most formative of musical memories, the marriage of experience and DNA. Realm of Chaos and Consuming Impulse were the first to school me on how hard death metal could hit, and while Pierced From Within taught a lesson in climactic brutality, it was In Their Darkened Shrines that embodied the extravagance of extremity. These three tenets are what I champion in truly great death metal and, thanks to the latter, what can clumsily be described as “eastern” chord progressions have appealed to me ever since. Egypt’s very own Crescent know my needs, and their second album, The Order of Amenti, seeks to deliver just that.” Pyramid schemes.
“Welp, it’s official: I’ve finally joined the likes of Steel Druhm, El Cuervo and Huck n Rolll in AMG’s Dad Rock Review Squad. In my defense, this was a total accident. Oblivious’ debut record was mistakenly labeled “Doom Metal” when I found it at the bottom of the thoroughly-picked early February promo barrel, and while I suppose a reasonable line of logic can be traced between the House that Sabbath Built and Oblivious’ brand of fuzzed-up hard rock, it doesn’t do anything to leave me feeling emotionally trampled.” Dad’s do it better.
“If there’s a more promising band out there than Harakiri for the Sky, I don’t know of them. Formed in 2011, this Austrian duo first came to my attention with 2014’s Aokigahara, whose crisp, riffy take on post-black metal was a welcome change from the Alcesty haziness overflowing the genre. My love affair continued with 2016’s III: Trauma, a terrific album that narrowly missed a spot on my year-end list with its lush, gorgeous melodies. Since then Harakiri’s gifted songwriting and unique style have built a rabid fanbase (including both myself and Master of Muppets), making Arson one of my most anticipated records of the year.” Ooooo… the suspense! So much filthy click-bait. I wonder how this is going to end…
“Voodoo Circle make Steel and I yearn for the olde days, when we would sit on the veranda in our trailer park, drinking hobo wine out of pickle jars, listening to mixtapes of Blue Murder, Whitesnake, Great White, and the Scorpions. It was a simpler time: hairspray-soaked blues metal dominated the scene, and there were four main lyrical topics: love, bad love, dirty love, and sex. You can’t get away with that in today’s climate, but that won’t stop Voodoo Circle from trying.” Sex is love.
“Looking back at what I wrote about Ektomorf’s Aggressor in 2015, I was clearly exasperated; Ektomorf seemed to lack some complexity or authenticity I was searching for in metal. Reviews reflect not just where the author was but what he thinks and why, if written successfully. On Fury, Ektomorf have predictably remained the same.” A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little bands.
“Where All Hope Fades is Ataraxy’s second full-length, following on from 2012’s Revelations of the Ethereal. With a promising title, and seeing Where All Hope Fades referred to as “gruesomely textured” harboring “a sense of deep-set misery, almost pushing the record into death-doom territory,” I felt compelled to check it out. What I sampled, proved an interesting nod to 90s era Finnish death metal with notable similarities to bands like Abhorrence and Amorphis.” Is the letter “A” the key to quality doom death?
“Many cite Meantime as the apple of their eye from Helmet but it’s the 1994 follow up, Betty, that brought the New Yorkers to my attention and with it delivered a slab of feedback and odd-time signatures that I never grow tired of. The plunging chords and staccato drums are perfectly balanced against Page Hamilton’s wry vocal delivery, a seismic yet focused payload of anti-establishment vitriol that takes hold of your spine and yanks it through your bowels. Meantime and Betty’s influence was partly responsible for the establishment of the alternative and post-metal scenes and to this day still inspires bands to pick up the axe, none more so thanMarriage + Cancer.” Strap it on?
“Thanks to a job that requires me to travel frequently, I spend an inordinate amount of time on trains. This allows me ample opportunity to sample whatever promo delight I happen to be attached to, but it also affords said artist a particular challenge – namely, can you draw my attention from the hell that is public transport. Between the droves of marauding spawn tearing up and down the aisle and the fuck-knuckle proudly standing in the middle of everything with his fucking bicycle, sweet riffs are all that separate the general public and an omni-directional wave of misanthropy, and Scotland’s King Witch have them.” Riffs over humanity.
