“I’ve said it before and now I’ll say it again: there are only a few bands I know won’t disappoint me and Brainstorm is the vanguard of those few precious dependables. Sure, some albums are more massive than others, but they’ve yet to let me down with a weak or uninspired effort.” Steel loves his dependables and his Depends.
“The arrival of 2016 finds the tides turning for Varg, now signed to Napalm Records. Das Ende aller Lügen (The End of All Lies) is here and with it Varg presents their latest direction—one encouraging impulsivity, unpredictability, revelry and brute force. All packaged in nice bright red war paint.” Madam X is here to tell you about the creepy German dogs she dragged home. Who’s not interested in that?
Ladies and germs, we have come to that time of year where we prepare for the holidays. Trees are cut down and decorated garishly, propped up in living rooms for approximately one month before being tossed aside or used as kindling in your fiery pits of Hades. But us writers? We’re putting together our lists, checking them twice, and solidifying them for all to see. Does German black metal duo Kvltist have the chops to usurp my solidified year-end collection of subjective metal importance with their debut, Catechesis?” Grymm has a list and he’s checking it thrice.
“Vanden Plas has been a very consistent act in the prog-power scene for over twenty years, releasing album after album of high quality music in the same vein as Anubis Gate, Threshold and early Dream Theater. They always offered plenty of shred, wank and noodle but took pains to keep the music accessible and memorable.” Ready for two albums of big time prog-power? Then ascend to the Netherworld!
“Since first listening to Thorns, I’ve wanted nothing more than an equally excellent follow-up to their self-titled release. Seriously, if I was granted three wishes, that would be one of them. But getting this wish granted is as unlikely as having Freddy Krueger drag me kicking and screaming up my bedroom wall and splaying me open on the ceiling.” Don’t look to Freddy for wish fulfillment.
“As this year comes ever-closer to its conclusion, I couldn’t help but pull up last year’s picks for Records and Song ‘o the Year. It didn’t quite dawn on me that there isn’t a thrash album to be found on my list. In the grand scheme of things, this is not surprising being with the old-farts producing some real turds and the newbies re-hashing the old-fart’s classics. The year, however, harbors some thrash threatening to invade my end-of-the-year picks.” There is no safe harbor when re-thrash comes to call.
“Once a writer has reviewed a band, it’s standard practice for them to review any subsequent records that band releases. Unless, of course, AMG wrote the original review and is too busy masturbating over old Iron Maiden records to critique new music. As you will have noticed, this scenario arose just the other week, and that’s why it’s fallen to me to review Leaves’ Eyes’ latest platter.” We have a system and you’re gonna use it!
“Ahab has been the proud flag-bearer for funeral doom during the last ten years, with three full-length releases fleshing out a decade which has seen them achieve great popularity for such a niche genre.” Whales and snails and squids, oh my!
“Even though I spend a lot of time listening to black metal (and anything and everything King Diamond), I hold a very special place in my heart for power metal. At any given time, you can walk by my office and hear an Iced Earth, Blind Guardian, or Metalium (yep, I said it) song reverberating off the walls and echoing down the hallway.” The good doctor is a power metal weenie.
“Hot on the lashing tail of the cheesiest of Sharknado films, Powerwolf return with another wolfnado of larger than life proportions. I’m told it’s supposed to be a humdinger, boasting some of the finest power metal, speed, hard rock and unholy orchestra contributions, and Powerwolf kept this firecracker under wraps for near on two years before unleashing it on the unsuspecting public.” Where are you when we need you, Tara Reid?
