“We all have a little touch of crazy inside us. You know what I mean; trapped laughter that rumbles out with such force it makes your belly hurt. Sadly with all the hullabaloo and day-to-day grind we forget to stop and breath, but more importantly, we forget to laugh. American melo-death merchants, Nekrogoblikon have made it their mission to remind us that tapping into our crazy and embracing the silly is just downright necessary and I support that!” Goblins are the medium, meta is the message.
“Remember Guitar Hero? Yes, I’m aware it’s 2015, but reach back into the memory vaults for just a second. Somewhere on the screen there’s a crowd pleasure meter that dynamically reacted to how well your performance is going. If you were good, it would stay in green. If you were really bad, it would stay in red, teetering on the edge of total audience disengagement. Being mediocre kept you squarely in yellow.” Are you ready to take on Guitar Hero’s doom edition? Cave of Swimmers think they are.
“Talk about discombobulating! Have you ever wondered what would happen if Spiritual Beggers (specifically the Christian “Spice” Sjöstrand era) came across a Magic 8 Ball, a Time-Out Machine (T.O.M) and a little vial of liquid black rock, and after much consultation with the 8 Ball decided to don their headbands and flared jeans and jump back to the 70s to hang out and jam with Led Zep?” Hot Tub Time Out Machine?
“I felt some remorse back in 2013 that I didn’t make more effort to review Apocalyptica’s Wagnerian tribute (Wagner Reloaded), an album that’s seen me through many long flights between South Africa and New York. Along comes Shadowmaker, Apocalyptica now have a dedicated vocalist as Franky Perez (ex-Scars on Broadway) takes his spot in the limelight and I get a chance to make right.” These guys lasted way longer than you expected, didn’t they?
“Riding a wave of turbulence generated from the relationship break-up between Parsonz and lead guitarist Josh Weaver, along with a couple of line-up shifts, Crooked Doors represents a melancholic, tumultuous and emotion-charged chapter in Royal Thunder’s career, where relationship fractures have been patched up in the name of unity, while the scar tissue remains raw and sensitive.” Break ups make for good metal? Who knew?
“Here we have another project band from Frontiers Records which appears to be trying to duplicate the success of the Russell Allen and Jorn Lande pairings. Like those albums, the music here is written by Magnus Karlsson, this time with the help of his Primal Fear band mate, Mat Sinner, and as usual, it walks the line between melodic power metal and radio-ready hard rock. Essentially, this is Allen/Lande with Michael Kiske and Amada Somerville standing in. How you feel about that will depend on the extent of your love for the former Helloween golden boy and the erstwhile queen of symphonic metal backing vocals (Avantasia, Aina, et al).” Do you need to take things down a notch and relax? This might help.
“I’m sure many of you have a big soft spot for C.O.C.’s Blind album, and in that regard, I’m no different. It’s become a genre classic and been showered with endless accolades since it’s release almost 25 years ago (that metal is olde!). A big part of the album’s appeal for me is Karl Agell’s gritty, tough-as-nails vocal performance. He was by far the best vocalist C.O.C. ever had and it’s a perpetual bummer he recorded but one album with the quasi-iconic band.” Dancing with the dead is so 1991, but it’s great to hear from this guy again anyway.
“As loyal AMG readers might have noticed by now, I am a sucker for awesome song and album titles. This weakness occasionally factors into which bands I choose to review. As far as band names go, Bad Guys is pretty fucking weak (and definitely not to be confused with Bad Dudes). However, if that is the name your band is stuck with, you can’t possibly top Bad Guynecology as an album title. It’s brilliant. Sign me up.” Mr. Fisting signs up for a lot of things on impulse. Remember that “make your own pruno” class? That should have learned him.
When word of this rock opera treatment of Dracula from none other than The Rock King and Trond Holter (current guitarist for Rock King’s solo albums) hit the streets, let’s just say there was a difference of opinion between AMG and myself as to the merits thereof. Never much of a Jornophile, AMG wanted no mention of it on his pristine webpage. But how can we ignore a Broadway-inspired concept album about that immortal Lord of Darkness, Dracula Von Impalerstein?” Are you ready for the Dracula Spectacula? Jorn is and he’s chewing on your scenery.
“A little confession: I chose to review the appallingly-titled 23 Acez sophomore effort in a bout of vindictive malice after grappling with a particularly hateful Spanish literature essay. I was pissed off and envisaged venting on a poor rock band just trying to make their way in the world.” We hate, because we care. Not about you, but other important stuff.
