“As reviewers, we’ve been indoctrinated to inhale this sound and ask for seconds. This is born partially from two decades of Scandi feet-kissing, but also from a formula that, begrudging as I am to admit, often works quite well. It falls to Apotheosis to prove Aethyrick on their merits and not merely by their company. As you might expect, separating the two is trickier than it sounds.” Standing on the shoulders of monsters.
“Look, I’m gonna keep this fairly brief and there is a simple reason for this: I picked up the debut from Germany’s Giants, Dwarfs and Black Holes to replace another promo that I dropped, after discovering that album was a reissue. I did no prior research on GDaBH, simply grabbing the first free thing with a similar release date and only later discovered THIS IS ALSO A FUCKING REISSUE!” Ever-issues.
“Can art be updated? Once released, is a piece of art fixed forever, like chiseled stone? Or fluid, like the hobo wine in the AMG office dispenser? If an artist or musician takes an existing work, and makes changes, have they created an entirely separate piece, or merely created their preferred version? Austrian black metal band, Ellende, raises these questions with its latest (shhhhh) EP, Triebe.” Disastrous moments in filtration.
“Imagine, if you will, a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed black metal enthusiast hopping out of bed one bright January morning excited to rake the promo bin for some lovely blasphemous soundtracks for cursing dead gods above with outstretched fist. He sees Schemer Heer, scanning the promo: “Schemer Heer… brings bombastic, black metal and horror…” and he hungrily snatches it up. It certainly looks icy and blasphemous, and he gets all tingly inside, the way others might feel about that special someone or a hug from their favorite teddy bear. He presses play and…Dungeon synth.” Dungeon punked.
“Hey, remember the infamous manbun album, where Pain of Salvation’s Daniel Gildenlöw sang about his experience lying in the hospital and almost dying for over 70 minutes? Well, The Day the Clocks Stopped has TDW’s frontman Tom de Wit singing about his experience lying in the hospital and almost dying for over 70 minutes. But TDW’s album is 5 minutes longer and instead of almost dying just once, Tom spent a long time on his sick bed, fighting bowel disease, sensory processing sensitivity and medical mistakes, and he almost died twice! Take that, Daniel!” Hospital-core.
“Sometimes, on a cold and miserable winter evening, when you haven’t been outside for several days because Lockdown 3.0 and work sucks because you haven’t been to the office or seen any of your colleagues for 11 months and you really want a beer or five but can’t because you decided not to drink for January for some damn fool reason and… well, anyway, you get the picture. On those sorts of evenings, sometimes what you need is an ice-cold sliver of raw, lo-fi black metal.” Feel the moon.
“Satanize. Now there’s a verb I can get behind. Satanize my music, satanize my wardrobe, satanize my life. For the past few months I’ve been on a metal reviewing hiatus and “satanizing” does a pretty good job capturing what I’ve been doing in my free time. I’ve been spelunking deeper than ever in the infernal netherworld of bestial blackened death metal, listening to every act I can find that worships at the altar of goats and blast beats. Thus, when I saw a band called Satanize in the promo bin, I knew it was time to stir from my reviewing slumber.” Satan stole my legal briefs.
“One of the more mystifying phenomena in the development in the metal scene is the emergence of “tech metal.” So far as I understand it, tech metal is a European scene and the bands therein are the aftermath of the total collapse in interest in djent in the rest of the world. Wisely, the Europeans rebranded, and even more wisely, they learned (though I believe “learnt” is also acceptable over there) to play something other than Meshuggah riffs. The results are… well, that’s the odd part.” Scar-core.
“I warned you all this would be a year of Steel on a mean death bender and here we are. Let’s kick it off in grand fashion with the brand new offering from death metal royalty, Asphyx. After shamefully overlooking 2016 release Incoming Death, I found myself needing to get my phyx of new material from a band I’ve enjoyed since my college days. Necroceros is the Dutch devils’ tenth album and the first written and recorded during a global pandemic.” Necro-Destructo.
“This is year two of Covid and we’re still discovering new ways in which the pandemic is altering the way we live. For instance, we’ve received multiple 2021 promos for Funeral Hymns, the sophomore release from Chicago thrash metal band Bloodletter, but Metal Archives and Bandcamp say it was released in September of 2020. I’m sure we will have more situations like this in the next couple of months. In fact, my review for next week is in the exact same boat. Not knowing who to trust, I’ve decided to trust the only person that I can trust: yours truly.” Blood can’t be dated.
