In which we marry the utmost extremities of the metal spectrum in an wholly unholy situation. Prepare your neck brace.
Mayhem
Mithridatic – Tetanos Mystique Review
“I wish I was born with the ability to remain blissfully ignorant, especially when it comes to the music you and I enjoy. For starters, my output would increase exponentially from not saying “fuck this bullshit” due to bands promoting questionable beliefs this calendar year alone, and I would most likely review an album at face value. Oh, and I would relish in the sheer joy of ignoring the fact sheet that comes packed with about 75% of the music we review. What am I getting at, you may ask? Tetanus Mystique, the second album by French “blackened” death metal merchants Mithridatic, is based on writer Roger Gilbert-LeComte, and his getting high by injecting tetanus into himself. Lovely. Oh, and the album prides itself on being an unflinching look into mental illness and stability.” Bad science.
Reign in Blood – Missa Pro Defunctis Review
“OK, so this week’s selection is a little too obvious. Against my better judgment, I grabbed Missa Pro Defunctis because I love Slayer’s Reign in Blood. Also against my better judgment, I chose Reign in Blood’s newest release without hearing a single note. While this could turn out to be an AotY pick, most of the time, grabbing something by instinct rather than logic is a bad idea. For instance, going to the convenient store to get a case of beer and finding a twelve-pack of Bud Light at a ridiculously low price. Then, when you get home, you discover that you bought Bud Light Minis.” Looks like reign.
Snøgg – Chhinnamasta Review
“Individuality is everything to me. I neither desire nor strive to be anything other than whatever I feel like being in any given moment, and it creeps the everloving fuck right outta me to witness people forcing themselves to fit into a predetermined role simply because it worked for someone else. Hive-minded fashion trends, movie references in lieu of actual jokes, and viral video memery in general; these are a few of my least favorite things that people often use to fill the voids where their personalities should be. And, as a reviewer, the sonic equivalent — blatantly aping any given artist and avoiding originality altogether — makes me fucking sick.” Felt integrity.
Calyx – Vientos Arcaicos Review
“Maybe an album haunts you with its recollective ghosts, maybe a certain genre only dances with you in the frozen dark of a winters night, maybe that song left a scar that only bleeds when you hear the words. The marks and meanings, the songs and sounds… These things vary uniquely from person to person, but we all experience this phenomenon in some way or other. Spain’s Calyx have added yet another piece to my own perpetually expanding puzzle of music mandated mindsets. To wit, their debut Vientos Arcaicos (“Archaic Winds”) makes me want to turn the lights off, smoke my brains out, and play Skyrim til the Nordic cows come home.” Nordic cows will kill you and everyone you love.
Sol Sistere – Cold Extinguished Light Review
“Ov all the cruel ironies in this angry metal world, black metal’s oversaturated state, at this point presumably mere days from breaching mainstream radio status, is likely the one that yanks my unicorn the most. That the brave new musical world discovered by such wanderers as Burzum, Mayhem, and Bathory would be further explored and defiled in time was never a question, yet the rampant proliferation of new obsidian acts we find ourselves plagued with is less akin to expansion than to… well, frankly, a fucking plague.” Semi-cold.
Whiskey Ritual – Black Metal Ultras Review
“Duality is a part of life. Man and God. Heaven and Hell. Filet mignon and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. There’s a time and a place for putting on your best suit and giving a polished presentation to your boss, and there’s a time and a place for slamming Michelob Ultras in your underwear while listening to Impaled Nazarene’s discography in reverse order. Since this is a band called Whiskey Ritual, I’m sure you’ve already figured out which side of the spectrum they fall on. Here’s a hint: my pants are already off.” Pants off, dance is also off.
L’Acéphale – L’Acéphale Review
“Twenty-nineteen has, so far, been an interesting year for metal. Not including the fact that the infamous Lords of Chaos has finally hit the big screen. And it seems to be the catalyst for some interesting current events. Events brought on by weirdos that wish they were 1) Norwegian and 2) friends with Count Grishnakh. Churches of all denominations have been going up in flames around the world and one can only wonder how far this will go. Hell, as of this writing, the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris has gone up in smoke. And one can only wonder, with the nonstop success of the French scene, who is responsible.” Burning times.
Sunn O))) – Life Metal Review
“Sunn O))) is not well received around these parts. When AMG’s distinguished editors and contributors were given the opportunity to review these droning doomsters, it was met with such reactions as GardensTale‘s verbal bitch-slap “I’d rather stick my hand in a blender” or Mark Z.‘s sick burn “Can I just review my washing machine running for two hours instead?” Love ’em or hate ’em, we can all agree on one universal idea about drone: it can be boring as fuck.” O)))) Boy.
Deus Mortem – Kosmocide Review
“A ferocious frenzy. An icy calm. Both are phrases describing points in Deus Mortem’s new album Kosmocide. Due to the seemingly contradictory nature of these two descriptions, one might be skeptical that such dissonant moods could commingle on the same record without creating an inconsistent sound. On their new opus, Deus Mortem do in fact commingle them and still manage to produce a record fans of classic era black metal acts from the 80s and 90s will salivate over.” Ceremony of opposites.
