“Do you like Russian Circles, but wish they added more wank to their post-metalness? Do you adore King Crimson, but wish there was less wankery – er, Frippery – in the recipes? If so, Dysrhythmia might be the bowl of porridge that is just right for you.” Porridge is for proggers.
“Atmospheric black metal. Some run to the hills, disgusted by the label, while others embrace it with an incredible fervor, an addict in desperate need of his next fix. Part of the beauty, or tedium, of the ‘atmospheric’ label is its elusiveness. Ranging from one-man bedroom-studio synth-heavy releases to six-piece major-label indie-black-digeridoo extravaganzas and everything in between, I never really know what freakish concoction awaits.” Life is like a box of kvlt chocolates.
“You would figure that an album dedicated to a broken relationship would be excellent fodder for a metal band, yes? Israel’s Ferium is tackling that most touchy of subjects with their second full-length, Behind the Black Eyes. That poor, poor dude on the front cover…” Sad songs stab so much.
“A great and wise man once said, “Let the music do the talking.” Okay, that was Steven Tyler, but it’s still true. There are times when a lot can be said with just your instruments, without the need for a voice, especially when those bands with voices want said voice to just shut up. In recent years, we’ve been bombarded by a slew of instrumental acts with varying degrees of success and talent. Belgian quartet Hemelbestormer (loosely translated to “idealist” in Dutch), is the newest to join the InstruMetal ranks with their debut album, Aether.” Be like Steven Tyler.
“One of my favorite things about metal is just how small of a world it can be. Like all metalheads out there, I have my favorite bands and musicians. Many of these musicians have a tendency to venture out into new projects and/or genres and I stalk them from band to band and genre to genre.” And this creepy stalking has led him to a bad case of…Sumac.
“So the Process Church of the Final Judgement wasn’t really your thing? Don’t slit your wrists over it, cults aren’t for everybody. Candlelight Records recently took a walk on the wild side adding a band that doesn’t run with their usual black metal or even their melodic death metal circles. Their band name is absurd, meaningless and annoying to the point where Nothing actually may be the better option, and to say that it had me tearing my hair out in chunks is an understatement. Pet Slimmers of the Year… Have you tried to Google this? No dammit, I’m not putting my feline on a diet, round is a shape too!” Yep, that’s the worst band name of all time. But, is the music any good? Madam X has opinions.
This year the plebs get a say. While I have fought against this with every fiber of my body, Madam X‘s caring, feeling, and ultimately populistic, womanly touch has poisoned this blog by allowing people who aren’t me (including herself) to have lists. Frankly I’m offended. No one comes to Angry Metal Guy to read these guys’ lists. But hey, you know how it goes. Times, they are achangin’. As I no longer have time to be the site’s lone dictator, and Steel Druhm has proven incapable of keeping the mustache twirling hipsters underfoot despite his enormous gun collection and tough talk, you, dear reader, get extra Top 10 lists.
I hope you’re happy.
