“From the slightly out of focus and over-exposed band photos to the chrome plated logo that wouldn’t be out of place adorning the packaging of a bootleg Thundercats toy, Vulture have gone to great lengths to make it seem like they’ve been around for decades. Even the (rather excellent) album art has been carefully rendered to deceive, with faint nicks and scratches baked in to mimic a record that’s been manhandled and left in a crate for aeons.” Faux-olde.
“All of us — even we manly men — have at some point, stumbled unnervingly into love. And we’ve all felt that multiverse-reverberating kidney punch when it inevitably goes to hell. To be so hopelessly enamored until destiny deigns to dissolve said bond and leave us only with a collection of increasingly pallid memories that cast a pall over once cherished years. Thus was my young love affair with Venom.” Of loves remembered and Satanic leagues disbanded.
“OK, so maybe I don’t have Netflix and, maybe, I thought Twitter was a porn site. And, maybe, I haven’t owned or played a video game in two decades or watched my beloved Yankees whip the Red Sox in over five years. And, maybe, the reason is that I don’t watch TV (or have one). So what if I like to sit around with my old man and talk about the Battle of Franklin? What if I like to have my breakfast at 4:30 every morning? And, so what if it’s currently 4 am right now? Maybe I have gray in my beard. Maybe I have gray in my pubes. That doesn’t make me fucking old. It’s not my fault I’m way more mature and far busier than the rest of you. You want old? Go find Huck, Steel, and Rage.”Silver and olde, silver and olde.
“Like Liam Neeson’s grizzled ex-CIA agent from Taken, Sweden’s Antichrist are possessed of a very particular set of skills, except their skills are focused on creating an authentic facsimile of the speed/thrash zeitgeist of the early eighties.” More 80s than Radio Shack!
“When I was thirteen years old I snagged an album with a wicked (cool word in 1983) cover. It was a drawing of what looked like a cynical, smartass devil. The album was Venom’s Black Metal, and my pals and I thought it was damn near the funniest thing we’d ever listened to. Crappy production, crappy musicians, goofy songs, and horrible vocals. We played that record to death, much to the displeasure of our mothers, girlfriends, and girlfriends’ mothers. C’mon, Huckles, why are you blathering on about Venom? This is supposed to be a writeup for Grave Danger, the second album from Finnish miscreants Foreseen. Well, that is what I’m doing here, but my point is that Grave Danger is basically another Venom album.” So he pulled up quick to get ve’nom!
“Metalheads know very well their favored genre is among the most complex and the deepest music composed today. Getting lost among intricate compositions and soundscapes both atmospheric and complex is all in a day’s listening for us. Maligner doesn’t concern themselves so much with intricate soundscapes, though. No, this Swedish trio is more concerned with fucking shit up as hard and fast as they can, and Demon is their declaration of war.” War is swell.
“From the brutally vintage cover, you’d be entirely justified expecting Speed and Violence to be a homage to the glory days of Exciter, being as they shamelessly appropriated the cover dynamic of their first album and riffed on the title of their second and best known platter (Violence and Force). While you’d be 110% right about the 80s throwback style Ranger wallows in, you’d be wrong about the chief influence.” It ain’t easy, being speedy.
“For a quality so inextricably linked with metal, at times heaviness can be a difficult characteristic to define. For some it’s all about sheer volume and noise, whereas for others, myself included, attitude and the weight of feeling behind the music are key components. Every now and then, however, a record will come along dripping with such malice and vitriol that it nullifies any need for a debate on the matter entirely.” 8 out of 10 Witchfinder Generals recommend this.
“When I think of India, a few things come to mind: curry, sacred cows, and the terrific 2001 novel Life of Pi. I certainly don’t think of heavy metal, much less fiery 80s-inspired metal with a deliciously modern twist. Enter Kryptos. Formed in 1998, this quartet has showboated their love of classic Judas Priest and Iron Maiden through 3 prior full-lengths, in addition to opening for acts like Death Angel and becoming the first Indian metal band to tour Europe in 2010.” Fist of the old star!
“Abominant seem content to continue churning out sweaty Midwestern death metal with a big old melodic kick in the ass until the day arthritis makes that impossible. With a band this seasoned, it’s no surprise they weren’t out to redefine themselves on their eleventh full-length Napalm Reign, but that’s not a bad thing.” Olde and wise, they are.
