Symphonic Metal

Aeternam – Ruins of Empires Review

By GardensTale on February 25, 2017 in 2017, Canadian Metal, Death Metal, Reviews, Self-released, Uncategorized, Symphonic Metal, 67 comments

“Us no-wage slaves ceaselessly cranking the almighty Angry Metal Guy Patented Review Mill (patent pending) usually have the choice between handing a review in at least 12 days before release or receiving 50 lashes and a metalcore promo. But now and then, the brutal roar of Steel Druhm’s voice comes through the trap door above, barking orders to review a promo that has already been released but is so good it still requires a write-up, lest the unwashed masses find themselves missing out. Such was the case with Aeternam’s latest opus, Ruins of Empires.” Sand, Steel and slave labor.

Ex Deo – The Immortal Wars Review

By Madam X on February 16, 2017 in 2017, Canadian Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Napalm Records, Reviews, Symphonic Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Symphonic Metal, 53 comments

“With the strength of 37 mighty African elephants, Hannibal marched 40,000 of his bravest men, 1,500 miles through the Alps, to challenge Rome’s supremacy on their own soil. Such is the premise of Ex Deo’s latest historical undertaking.” People show know when they’re conquered by historical metal.

Akoma – Revangels Review

By GardensTale on January 7, 2017 in 2017, Danish Metal, Massacre Records, Reviews, Symphonic Metal, Symphonic Metal, 92 comments

“Let’s play a game of ‘guess the genre!’ We have a band with a nondescript, vaguely fantasy-sounding name. Google betrays it to be the Ghanese word for ‘heart.’ The album name is Revangels, which I’m guessing is a contraction of revenge and angels? That seems likely, but I choose to believe it’s about angels that have become groupies for deceased drummer The Rev, instead because that’s more clever than the alternative.” Show no symphony.

Dark Portrait – A Harrowing Atrocity Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on December 15, 2016 in 2016, Black Metal, Gothic Metal, Greek Metal, Reviews, Symphonic Metal, Xperiment XIII, Black Metal, Gothic Metal, Symphonic Metal, 23 comments

“It was with great reluctance that I took Dark Portrait’s A Harrowing Atrocity for review. It’s nothing against the band, but with the end of the year deadlines looming, TYMHM articles to write, and a top-ten list to hash out, there is little time for those unfortunate albums whose label thought it appropriate to release in the blackest month of the year.” From the promo dead pit comes…blackness.

Thy Shade – The Last Goodbye Review

By GardensTale on December 2, 2016 in 2016, Reviews, Symphonic Metal, Symphonic Metal, 37 comments

“You know, you can say what you want about female fronted symphonic metal like Nightwish, Within Temptation and Leaves’ Eyes, but they have (or had) some terrific vocalists. Tarja, Sharon van Adel, Simone Simons of Epica, the list goes on. In plenty of cases the music may be tepid and derivative, but at least those golden throats are there to put salve on the wounds and distract from the musical mediocrity.” Throwing shade.

Light and Shade – The Essence of Everything Review

By Zephyrus on November 21, 2016 in 2016, Italian Metal, Power Metal, Progressive Metal, Reviews, Scarlet Records, Symphonic Metal, Power Metal, Progressive Metal, Symphonic Metal, 24 comments

“My short tenure with everyone’s favourite Angry Metal website has already changed my views on music in profound and mysterious ways. Forming an opinion on an album used to be instinctual; I either liked what I heard (and thus listened to it repeatedly), or I did not. I have since realized things are not quite so black and white. What happens when faced with an album that is not enjoyable? Disregarding it is not an option. As great as it would be to write “this shit stinks” and call it a day, such a review be in rather poor taste and probably land me squarely in front of HR.” Ask HMG how that went….

Dark Sarah – The Puzzle Review

By Treble Yell on November 20, 2016 in 2016, Finnish Metal, Inner Wound Recordings, Reviews, Symphonic Metal, Symphonic Metal, 57 comments

“I’ll be honest with you, my first blush with Finland’s Dark Sarah, upon receiving their promo folder had me wallowing in despair, my lamentation palpable through gritted teeth for the seemingly poor choice I had made. Wading through publicity photos with the aesthetic charm of an easel that has been beaten to death by a rainbow, reading the insufferably trite album bio that speaks of mysterious caves and split personalities and the aforementioned laughable album cover all served to shrivel my hopes that I had discovered a ziggurat filled with wondrous music.” Dark Sarah has a dragon (and a cave troll).

Aeternitas – House of Usher Review

By Dr. Wvrm on October 21, 2016 in 2016, German Metal, Gothic Metal, Massacre Records, Reviews, Symphonic Metal, Gothic Metal, Symphonic Metal, 30 comments

“When Steel Druhm pitched my weekly Hot Pocket and Fanta allotment down the Well of Rookie Souls, he shouted something about it being “ultra mega super cheesy.” I thought he meant my pepperoni-infused beauties, but it turns out he was talking about the cheese-nuke of an assignment he dropped on my work slab.” Loosen the jazz hands.

Epica – The Holographic Principle Review

By Diabolus in Muzaka on September 20, 2016 in 2016, Dutch Metal, Eurocore, Nuclear Blast, Reviews, Symphonic Metal, Eurocore, Symphonic Metal, 94 comments

“The cultish devotion to contemplating endless variations of Descartes’s “evil demon” question mixed with Hume’s ridiculous skepticism has led some philosophers to seriously contemplate if saying “I have hands” is a valid assertion because we can’t definitively prove that we’re not just brains in vats (BIVs) imagining the whole world, our hands included. Somehow this line of thought is still taken seriously, and it’s given us plenty. It’s given us proof positive that if your philosophy abandons Aristotle and Aquinas, it’s going to be terrible. It gave us The Matrix; a good action flick. It’s also given us a record based around wondering whether our world is actually just an elaborate VR simulation in the form of Epica’s The Holographic Principle.” To glee or not to glee.

Necronomicon – Advent of the Human God Review

By Mark Z. on March 6, 2016 in Black Metal, Canadian Metal, Death Metal, Reviews, Season of Mist, Symphonic Metal, Black Metal, Death Metal, Symphonic Metal, 33 comments

“Despite being dubbed the “Chameleon of Rock” for his ever-changing style, the late David Bowie didn’t agree with this title. “For me a chameleon is something that disguises itself to look as much like its environment as possible,” he once said. “I always thought I did the exact opposite of that.” But fret not, you fanatical herpetophiliacs out there, Canadian blackened-death trio Necronomicon is proof positive that musical chameleons do, in fact, exist.” Those who deny the existence of musical chameleons may be musical chameleons themselves. Trust nothing.