Toxic Holocaust

1349 – Massive Cauldron of Chaos Review

1349 – Massive Cauldron of Chaos Review

“Since 1997, 1349 has evolved a lot. And I mean a lot. They’ve changed so much that their musical career can only be compared to driving down the freeway at 70 miles per hour and hitting black ice. First, you accelerate along the on-ramp (Liberation and Beyond the Apocalypse), until you achieve top speed (Hellfire). When you come upon the ice, it sends you into uncontrollable spins (Revelations of the Black Flame) that you miraculously manage to steer free from.” Winter is fast approaching so it’s time to check your snow tires and drive safely out there!

The AMG Staff Picks the Top Ten Records o’ 2013

The AMG Staff Picks the Top Ten Records o’ 2013

This year the plebs get a say. While I have fought against this with every fiber of my body, Madam X‘s caring, feeling, and ultimately populistic, womanly touch has poisoned this blog by allowing people who aren’t me (including herself) to have lists. Frankly I’m offended. No one comes to Angry Metal Guy to read these guys’ lists. But hey, you know how it goes. Times, they are achangin’. As I no longer have time to be the site’s lone dictator, and Steel Druhm has proven incapable of keeping the mustache twirling hipsters underfoot despite his enormous gun collection and tough talk, you, dear reader, get extra Top 10 lists. 

I hope you’re happy.

Skeletonwitch – Serpents Unleashed Review

Skeletonwitch – Serpents Unleashed Review

Baroness frontman John Baizley was having drawer’s block. Some Ohio blackened thrash metal band called “Skeletonwitch” had contracted his service for drawing metal album cover art, but when he drew up a draft that depicted a naked woman covered by foliage at the NSFW areas and surrounded by random animals, the band rejected it on grounds of un-creativity. Oh, the nerve of those Southeasterners. What were they expecting to see? Fully-clothed women and machines?” How dare they be art elitists?? Well, I suppose we can’t expect every blackened re-thrash band to be culturally refined, but at least Skeletonwitch knows how to tear your face off.

Toxic Holocaust – Chemistry of Consciousness Review

Toxic Holocaust – Chemistry of Consciousness Review

“Well slap my ass and call me Skippy, the premier name in super-mega, old school, retro, throwback thrash (rethrash for short) is back to teach another post-grad lesson in violence. For those not in the know, that means a new album from Joel Grind’s Toxic Holocaust. Yes folks, things don’t get more painfully stuck in the 80s than the speed churned out by Mr. Grind and if there was ever a man born too late, it’s him. You see, Joel was meant to exist during that original wave of thrash, releasing revolutionary new music to shock the world alongside the likes of Slayer and Exodus. Alas, the Fates turned a mean skein and he was cast forward to this cruel future, where all his best thrashing and bashing is considered tired, recycled and irrelevant by many. Tis quite the shame too, since the man has a true gift for penning genuine 80s thrash and his stuff always has an aura of authenticity that’s lacking in most rethrash.” When I say rethrash, you say Grind!! That was fun, right? But is this album fun? Steel Druhm, a veteran of the rethrash wars, will chime in.

Mammoth Grinder – Underworlds Review

Mammoth Grinder – Underworlds Review

“You may have noticed a tendency of the AMG staff to carp, whine and bitch about albums being too long and including too much filler. It’s a sad truism that because CDs are capable of holding 75 minutes of tuneage, way too many bands think they have 75 minutes worth of quality music when usually…they don’t. Mammoth Grinder are the exception to that rule and their Underworlds album clocks in at a lean, mean twenty-eight minutes and it feels as refreshing as a bath in a mountain lake.” Pressed for time? Need your ass kicked quickly and fully. Hire a Mammoth!

Autopsy – The Headless Ritual Review

Autopsy – The Headless Ritual Review

“The Gods of crusty, scabby American death are back yet again! Since their grisly and well-received Macabre Eternal comeback, I’ve been chomping at the bit to hear more new material from the reformed Autopsy. With roots running all the way back to the seminal debut by genre creators Death (Chris Reifert played drums thereon), Autopsy has had an up and down career filled with long lay-offs, breakups and resurrections so it’s always a joy to get a new platter of splatter from them (and I always worry it will be their last).” Since you never know when the wheels will come off the Autopsy table, enjoy their brand of dirty, scuzzy death while you still can! Steel Druhm’s been knee deep in it for a week and has some thoughts (and some infections).

Joel Grind – The Yellowgoat Sessions

Joel Grind – The Yellowgoat Sessions

“Whoa! Steel Druhm did not expect this thing to kick anywhere near as much ass as it does. In fact, this is an insidious ass-kicking machine, free from the lab and turned loose on mankind with naught but ill intent. The author of this wanton hiney massacre is one Joel Grind, the force behind the old school, retro thrash band Toxic Holocaust. Between albums he apparently felt the burning need to craft this hugely lethal collection of thrash anthems under this eponymous project name.” Imagine if old Bathory got humped by Motorhead and Slayer and you would have a good idea what this goat sounds like. BAAAAH!

Steel Druhm’s Top 10(ish) of 2011

Steel Druhm’s Top 10(ish) of 2011

We made it through another year here in Angry Metal World. We overcame Terminal Reviewer Burnout Syndrome, careers and personal lives, just to bring you more of our self-righteous, ego-driven babbling and blathering. Why did we do it? Because we care so damn much! Now, as the year grinds us all towards inevitable doom, it falls to me to get the metal wheel a rollin and name my picks for the best albums of 2011. This was a pretty solid year, so it was tough to figure out which albums belonged where, but you demanded it, so I’m delivering the goods, Yeah!

Toxic Holocaust – Conjure and Command Review

Toxic Holocaust – Conjure and Command Review

The one man thrash brigade is back! That’s right, Joel Grind has crawled back from beyond (Oregon) to hammer us with yet another splatter platter of ugly, primitive but oh-so-good 80’s retro thrash. Mr. Grind has been mucking about as a one-man-band in the retro world since 99′, which makes him one of the originators of the ongoing thrash revival. Whether you love him or hate him depends on your tolerance for thrash and reliving the past. Regardless, here on album four, Conjure and Command, he makes it clear he’s not going away anytime soon. Conjure is yet another huge slab of golden age thrash, written by a true fan of the style for fans of the style. As the album unspools, the listener will hear references to all the great 80’s thrash icons and it plays like a thick, meaty stew loaded with Bay Area and Germanic ingredients. Its almost as if Mr. Grind stumbled across a creepy, Ed Gein style yard sale, the kind with plenty of scary old dolls and strange stuffed animals. Tucked away in the back was a bloody box loaded with the missing riffs of Kreator, Slayer and Destruction. Needless to say, that box was plundered mightily during the making of this album. If thrash gives you a rash, here is your chance to flee. If you feel the need for speed, read on.