Glam Metal

Tarchon Fist – Apocalypse Review

Tarchon Fist – Apocalypse Review

“What? You thought Victorious was gonna be the only metal band we reviewed here with bright colors and dinosaurs in their album art? Fools! The lot of ye! Tarchon Fist, an Italian heavy metal quintet formed in 2005, demands representation in the land of outlandish tapestries bursting with muscular sword-dudes and rampant nonsense. I summoned Apocalypse from the post-apocalyptic wasteland that is August’s promotional dump site because I believed the metal deities wouldn’t permit such artwork were it not for the righteous wares forged therein.” Fist of the Past.

Licence – N.2.O.2.R Review

Licence – N.2.O.2.R Review

“I love complex music as much as the next metalhead. The potential for progressive structures and technical wizardry are some of the elements that set rock and metal apart from most other forms of contemporary music. But sometimes, I just want to kick back with something that’s catchy and dumb, and if there had not been plenty of people who agree with me, we’d never have had glam metal.” Expired.

Hank Von Hell – Egomania Review

Hank Von Hell – Egomania Review

“November: the time of year when Madam X rules the roost with her iron fist. Meaning, this month I’m taking my orders from her, and the first order of business is this Hank Von Hell record. Name ring a bell? It does if you were (or for some reason still are) a Turbonegro fan. Von Hell, then known as Hank Von Helvete, sang for those punky fellows for seventeen years and six records, then stepped away for a variety of reasons both sordid and domestic. His short-lived band, Doctor Midnight & the Mercy Cult, put out an album in 2011, and then he faded away again until now, where we are presented with Egomania.” Turbo ego.

Lydia Laska – Ego Death Review

Lydia Laska – Ego Death Review

“Sir David Bowie. The Duke, The Chameleon, The Goblin King. In January 2016, the world lost one of the greatest musicians it had ever known. Throughout his illustrious career, Bowie wore many faces, but even at his darkest, he retained a sultry air with his seductive voice and androgynous personae. First-wave black metal would place near-last on my list of metal genres that could pair with the Duke, but that’s exactly what ,b>Lydia Laska aim to do.” Look back in blackness.

Tornado – Commitment to Excellence Review

Tornado – Commitment to Excellence Review

“The world of today is in turmoil. Across the Western world, after decades of growth for love, tolerance and liberty, a movement of blanket hatred for the ‘other’ has begun to creep up through the pores. That movement, which has been festering in the darkness and has finally started to expose itself in full in recent years, has infected political discourse all over North America and Europe. Most metal bands simply keep trucking on, and that’s a good thing. We all need an escape from the raging shitstorm every now and then. Finnish thrash band Tornado could not abide by this, however, and they’re taking their music to the streets, likely along with a few picketing signs.” Commit to semi-goodness.

Kissin’ Dynamite – Ecstasy Review

Kissin’ Dynamite – Ecstasy Review

“Hair metal! Is there a more maligned subgenre? Given the way it warped the general public’s image of metal, and for how long, it’s hard to imagine one. But for sheer, raw fun, it can be very, very hard to beat, especially on the rare occasion one finds it executed well. But what does ‘well’ mean in this context? Is it even really possible for that word to apply to hair metal?” Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Warrior Soul – Back on the Lash Review

Warrior Soul – Back on the Lash Review

“Back in the early ’90s, Warrior Soul were among the many groups who rode in on the tail end of 1980s-style hair metal, only to have their careers washed away by the incoming dominance of grunge/alternative rock. Led by frontman Kory Clarke, the band’s slightly artsy take on the genre led to some noteworthy albums during that brief window in time (my friends in high school seemed to really like Drugs, God and the New Republic), before crashing and burning in 1995. However, the band has resurfaced in various incarnations over the years, usually with Clarke as the sole original member. Back On The Lash is their first studio album in five years.” Old Soul.

Yer Metal Is Olde: Kiss – Love Gun

Yer Metal Is Olde: Kiss – Love Gun

“August 1977. A small boy is on vacation in the Big City with his family — once a year they make the eight-hour drive, to buy new corduroy pants and wide-striped shirts. But that’s not what is exciting the boy today in the shopping mall. He spent the summer picking bottles in the alleyways of his hometown and managed to save up seven dollars. And now he was in a record store, staring at a display on the wall that he could hardly get over. He knew he was looking at a record — after all, his parents had plenty of albums, from Neil Young to Engelbert Humperdinck — but he had never seen one that also looked like a comic book. And the price on it was $6.98: he had to have this.” Love is a battlefield, Kiss is the army.

Autograph – Get Off Your Ass Review

Autograph – Get Off Your Ass Review

“There’s no doubt that this is one fucked up world. And to add insult to injury, Autograph has a new album. I mean, I wouldn’t want to say glam metal is irrelevant these days, but it is. And one of its pioneers is unwilling to die—trying to hold on to what it has (“Turn Up the Radio”) and hasn’t (everything else) contributed to this world.” This IS your father’s metal.